I want to help Manjula get off and get back on at an earlier time, let’s relive…. let’s try again…. if only
The special flexi specs (First introduced here) aren’t good enough. I need a Tardis. (Dr Who’s time travelling gizmo)
or….. I want to jump to an alternative reality rather than just time travel so that I can rerun our life but with a different outcome!. Let’s try again. I help Manjula get off one merry go round and then jump on another. In my magical thinking in this alternate world…. We meet, fall in love, this time she doesn’t get the series of crushing illnesses and we live happily ever after.
Maybe in this current world where she’s died she only had a very limited cache of ‘good’ luck; she used all the good luck that was left over in her life in the nine years we were together and thats why she had to go. In this alternative world she’d have more good luck.
You will see more of the total picture when I share her story. She did have a very very very tough time throughout her life and what seems like astonishingly bad luck in the 36 years before we met.
Yet she remained positive, a bright light with a beautiful smile she radiated joy.
Since we met she’s had better luck and we’ve had a wonderful life but Manjula still had to deal with her illness and its impact.
Maybe this bad luck in Manjula’s life would be interpreted by some Hindu’s as repayment for ‘mistakes’ or even repayment for ‘bad’ in a previous life. Whatever, there can be no doubt that she has now well and truly repaid her debt for any transgressions in that life.
Surely she now has a massive deposit of wealth in the Karma bank because of the good soul she has been in this life. So I hope and believe she will be kindly rewarded in her next life.
and not just with ice cream
So where is that other magic roundabout to jump onto and experience the different alternate reality? I realise I’m rambling now but miss her terribly and want her here with me now.
We have sent her off with our love and kept some of her in our own hearts.
Today is a difficult day
9 thoughts on “Stop the magic roundabout”
I am so sorry you are faced with this. I can only imagine how difficult it must be. When will you next be in London? Ex
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Yes it’s shitty however I look at it. I’m most definitely out of any comfort zone. Thought of another angle on this.
Back on the 12th let’s talk dates.
‘If only’ …. we feel your anguish. I’m so very sorry, Stephen.
It’s helping to share in this way. Thanks so much for your patience and support.
Oh those kinds of bad days are the worst. Thank you for sharing them, as well as the “better ones” with us. She is indeed a wonderful soul. Love from Montréal. x
Thanks Anick, very supportive, s x
Sending hugs. S
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