I share this gift from Manjula — as a follow up to Why? — as we approach what would have been her 49th birthday. On her birthday itself we hope to make a few other friends. Please check back to find out what happens.
In the meantime, if you’re interested, there’s more of our story here.
She lives in Hinkal on the other side of Mysore but I get to see her some weekends and during the school summer holiday, when she visits her grandmother, who lives opposite our house.
We’re in the midst of school holidays so she’s here everyday for a few weeks and I’ve introduced ta – ra ta -ra….
We’ve already had walking Lucie, cycling single and tandem, many trips to the cafe, the infamous holiday, games on and off screen, trips to various institutions namely the vets and dentist, outings in the Ambassador, storytelling, shopping for birthday present clothes more and more….
There’s a serious reason for all this related to MAnjula.
When one suffers such loss that forms a trauma and it’s aftermath, it’s an extra challenge to focus on the positive.
It’s especially difficult at anniversary time. There’s a preoccupation with the loss, the guilt, a blaming.
In this month there’s also helpful reminders of good, our wedding ceremonies.
Some might wonder why I follow so ‘religiously’ the traditions. It’s simply my love and devotion for MAnjula.
The day afterwards brings out memories of when she was laid to rest on her bed, outside our house with the tell tale symbols of the smouldering wood informing the neighbourhood what was happening. Next we’d go to the industrial shed-oven aka crematorium and before that a puja by the side led by Manjula’s brother.
A kindly neighbour brought Bhagavad Gita to help emphasise our duty not to become too attached to our loved ones and to help their soul spirit move onto another body.