Month: October 2021

grief gravy

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I have swam in it, swallowed it, fought it, opened my arms to it, shrivelled from it, tolerated it, hated it,.. It’s hit me like a personal tsunami, been wishy washy, sticky beyond treacle, invaded my brain to make it fuzzy and cracked open my tentative comfort zones. I know it’s a lifelong friend I have to accept it. It’s equal with and probably surpasses the combined effect of all the worse times in my life and for the first time uncovered real solid regrets.

It’s a gravy train that doesn’t bring benefits or maybe it does.

My heart was broken by losing Manjula, I covered it up and held it close but now I’m beginning to feel able to open my heart again. So there are positives to discover and learning to reveal.

I now love Manjula even more and in ways that I couldn’t imagine. I’m tentatively beginning to be kind to myself.

Part two of this series of postings is the heart

Thank you for your support during this horrendous journey.

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I love you Manjula

Adopted

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More young people aged from seven through to twenty-nine are befriending me.

The latest are the excitable cycling duo of Yashodhar and Srivaastav.

Who saw me walking Lucie and asked me to wait while they rushed home and brought me these pictures.

Complete with carefully designed envelope.

How nice.

Manjula gives again

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Vanshika and her younger sister Samiksha with their gifts from Manjula

Vanshika was the first to borrow books from the library. She was worried that her English wasn’t perfect, well it’s much better than this Yorkshireman’s.

Her mum thinks she’ll love the books but she’s uncertain about that man.
Manjula’s kind

Reflective Space

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I enjoy meeting new people for enlightening conversations. We cover an incredible range of subjects.

I’m regularly contacted by young people who arrange to drop in and talk and often borrow books from Manjula’s library.

Thank you, from happy old man

Manjula’s library.

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Latest delivery to the children’s section.

The board books in the centre use more appropriate local images for the traditional English rhymes still shared with ‘early years’ children in India.

What do you think?

I’ve ordered extra as gifts from Manjula to some of the children in the immediate locality.

Kaveri

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The name of a goddess, river and a bossy little girl.

She’s the same age as Poppy my granddaughter.

She comes round to paint when Sowbhagya is here so there is no misunderstanding.

We don’t want people wondering what the old white guy is doing with a little Indian girl which for me, a qualified trained social worker, is a sad reflection on our societies west and east.

Kaveri has painted many hearts for Manjula and I.