Today’s adventures

WOMAD.

The world music festival in south England

There’s a group of us that meets and camps together each year. Sharing cooking and news of our lives, supporting each other.

WOMAD 2023

Some of the same group eighteen years before… on the front row from left … youngest son Oliver, me, friend Louise, Liz mum of my boys, Ben, my eldest.
It often gets muddy
This year I’ve been fortunate to meet a few friends, who are previous guests at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.

We’ve lost two from our group that’s MAnjula and Peter but they’re still in all our hearts.

‘Til later…

Manjula after cooking one of her gorgeous meals and overcome by the appreciation from our group. Wonderful memories from 2016 and 2017
There’s always time for new friends and stories.
Cool things to buy for the forever shopper. You’ll see this and similar around, as they’re significant.

I’m a writer.

Originally written in March 2021 but lost in the ether

I’m officially confirmed as a writer and here’s the evidence.

I have a blank page and pen. I also have a passion, here it is, at the top of the blank page.

I’ve submitted for a competition and got absolutely nowhere, so that’s the ‘rejection’ box ticked.

I‘ve got the writer’s block down to a fine art.. To be fair I think it’s proximity to the ‘wound’ or the trauma that makes it extra difficult. This month creates extra challenges as there’s a pile-up of anniversaries, our weddings and Manjula’s death, but that’s an expected part of this particular journey.

I’m reading lots of fiction, including children’s, non fiction and insights into how to write. How much is being held by this decaying brain is another matter.

I’m inadvertently following famous writers such as Paul Auster and now my writer of the moment, who I’ve only just discovered wrote ‘Stardust’ my favourite film Neil Gaiman

I must admit to liking young people’s story books. I like the pace, find them interesting and I more easily remember what I’ve read.

As the ‘passion’ would say “let’s see.”

First update

It feels like it’s been weeks since I added to our story so I plan to have a different approach, set up my writing place, establish a routine and treat it as a ‘job.’

Second update

It’s written but as I’m a writer I’ll follow a norm and declare it just ain’t good enough

Third update

It’s going to be completely revised and restructured. I’ll break the memoir rules but I just don’t care.

Fourth update 2022 and I’m yet to start. I’ve slipped into a ‘can’t quite get my act-together phase’ I told you I was a writer.

In between the enormous gaps.

Should I be Retracing steps?

After meeting up with our mysore BnB family at WOMAD and knocking on a few of their doors I went camping.

I was apprehensive about revisiting the same places in Dorset where we’d had a family camp to celebrate Alice and Ben’s (eldest son) wedding and my 60th birthday during Manjula’s second U.K. holiday

I shouldn’t have been.

It proved to be a tonic.

I like Weymouth
Rachel and Simon of the lovely ‘hive’ cafe even remembered our visit five years ago.
Catching a ferry
Making new friends from Yorkshire
Who’s that bearded idiot?
Then back to Ruth’s in Bristol,

over to bee-man Stephen to drop our beautiful tent, return the fancy hire car and prepare to return home

In my experience, when grieving, we regularly get ambushed by memories of magical times together. They make me both happy and sad. I’ve learned not to run away but to face them, even create them, so it was ok to retrace my steps.

Thank you for joining my journey and your support.

This week

March is a month of significant memories.

It began with our wedding at the city corporation, followed a few days later with a celebration on Srirangaptnam.

Two years running she was admitted to intensive care and sadly and devastatingly died three years ago on the 23rd.

We do Pooja on that anniversary, help her on her way and remember fantastic times with a wonderful woman.

Here’s a video memory created by our good friend Tom, Manjula showing one of her many skills and most importantly her kindness of giving.

New beginnings are disguised as painful ends

It’s late at night and the page is blank so I turn to Laozi and Pooh bear.

Actually that’s not true. I turn to you…… to help me get the ball rolling, to create and share my and Manjula’s story. It’s the age old writer’s conundrum. As you see I have a pile of full notebooks but how to get the blank page filled to begin to start the actual story. Can you help?

If you know Manjula and I or even if you don’t 🙃 what’s the key ingredients of our story that might interest you or a wider audience. What are the main themes that will interest people?

A spoonful

It could have all gone horribly wrong.

I’ve spent today sorting through digital photos to create a printed album. I was drawn to some videos of Manjula talking to us.

Far from 
being upsetting I loved hearing and seeing Manjula 

I wondered if you might be interested in seeing one or two.

After our engagement in 2015 we decided to visit the U.K. so applied for a passport for Manjula. Our challenging journey started way before we ever set off for the UK and is detailed on this site. The video was taken after our trip to the passport office.

more can be found here with a section on the passport challenge

What helps

It’s so easy to fall into the quagmire pit of negativeness. Dwelling on the sadness of her last few weeks,the whipping stick of blame or the grief of how much I miss her. She is of course happily still with us in so many ways. I am so fortunate to have fond memories that I cherish and as the brain gets more befuddled I have lovely videos of Manjula talking to me and you. I came across one yesterday on a posting about us both coming to terms with the changes. You can find it here with her lovely humour even at the most difficult of times. I love you Manjula