I’m reminded of how I’d felt the need to protect my broken heart — like this one in a bottle — while looking around me at the images of my beautiful MAnjula which trigger happy joyful memories of our wonderful but short time together.
Tomorrow we’ll share a meal with MAnjula and a few close friends.
I have swam in it, swallowed it, fought it, opened my arms to it, shrivelled from it, tolerated it, hated it,.. It’s hit me like a personal tsunami, been wishy washy, sticky beyond treacle, invaded my brain to make it fuzzy and cracked open my tentative comfort zones. I know it’s a lifelong friend I have to accept it. It’s equal with and probably surpasses the combined effect of all the worse times in my life and for the first time uncovered real solid regrets.
It’s a gravy train that doesn’t bring benefits or maybe it does.
My heart was broken by losing Manjula, I covered it up and held it close but now I’m beginning to feel able to open my heart again. So there are positives to discover and learning to reveal.
I now love Manjula even more and in ways that I couldn’t imagine. I’m tentatively beginning to be kind to myself.
It’s 58 minutes, with two minutes to go. The Englishman likes to be on time and a little early.
Tea is made and in my favourite ‘cranky old guys rule’ mug. Lucie’s medicines given, computer switched on, air bud things in my ear, matched to the comp Bluetooth, WiFi working ok. Check, quick splash of the face ooooh forgot my treat, a doughnut from SAPA bakery.
Redrafted structure of our story sent to Pam yesterday for discussion today.
We’re ready to roll.
Except woooooooooo I’m exactly one hour early the meeting is at 11.00 not 10.00!
I’ll now spend a few moments reflecting in the present. It’s a new thing I learned from Madam
Is this early onset of, you know A……., over excitement to dive into the ‘Labour of Love’ unlikely as I have to constantly deal with being taken over by ‘idle-ous-ness and lethargy’ combined (it’s in the air and not a new thing).
Or have I just lost it? Probably.
I’ll have to wait.
Doughnut now or later is my biggest current challenge.
Cummings comes clean to British Parliament on what has been going on under the surface at Mysore Bed and Breakfast. We can now reveal never been seen before comments from the guestbooks
As part of the research for our story I’ve been reading some of the guest comments from our first two seasons in 2011 and 2012.
Yes, it was ten yesrs ago that we started, initially just in the upstairs house.
What a lovely task it’s been. A real joy travelling through time, I’m amazed at how well it triggers memories of the guests themselves and the things we did together.
It’s wonderfully warm, reading the feedback and especially their appreciation of Manjula. Frankly, I could do without being constantly reminded of who was the real boss. 😉
There are one or two that might not be suitable for wider publication…..
Here are some selected highlights.
“Steve you’re a bastard.” I’ve edited it in case young people might be listening.
“So we debated for 15 minutes about how to express our emotional response to our stay at mysore B&B.” and then they wrote nothing!
“What an arsehole. No seriously what an arsehole…”
I suppose I’m the ‘has-been’ that never was.
I am of course, seriously and tearfully happy from these wonderful reminders. I’ll include more details in our story next year, where people are just sooooo gushing about ‘you know who.’. You’ll just have to wait.