Today’s messenger rest on a branch of the tree across from my balcony, repeatedly flies away and returns. Sometimes it’s still, at others its chuntering or maybe chewing.
The dragonfly arrives as I’m writing about how we first met to be submitted for a literary competition. I’m happy that this messenger is a reminder that she’s still with me and loves me. It’s taken up residence on the branch. Lucie’s walk will have to wait.
The dragonfly leaves to be replaced by a butterfly flying to me on the balcony.
A few weeks ago, I complained to Manjula that I’d not heard from her. Within days a dragonfly maybe ten times bigger flew into the downstairs hall, circled me three times and landed on Manjula’s pennant.
Butterflies have often visited, since my appeal. They also feature on a banner that Jacquie is creating in the U.K.
Missing Manjula. Second Christmas and birthday without her
Next, a dragonfly flew into the hall, circled me and landed on Manjula’s penant that we bought on holiday in the U.K. Immediately afterwards, a sepia coloured butterfly as a few days earlier also kept circling me. Some believe that Dragonflies and Butterflies are messengers of love from your dearly departed.
At today’s writers group a presentation from editor Karthika helped clarify what is possible.
I’ve committed to Manjula to write our story with a working title of Full Full. I’ve completed the first draft of many and feels like I’m building the Taj Mahal out of matchsticks. This will take sometime.
Target date March 2022 to complete story
Launch book by August 2022 on what would have been Manjula’s 49th Birthday
Identify Editor, First Readers, Community Publisher advisor,
Create 3000 person mailing list and feature blog posts to help create interest.
Self publish POD and E book with 1000 sale target
Available in Hebden Bridge U.K. and silverfish (mysore) local bookshops.
Next: consider… additional chapters, Children’s book, Online interactive version
Non work station notebooks and printed draft. I have a fountain pen and blank paper. I must be a writer.
Vasanth, Lokesh, Babu and Satish modelling MAnjula masks after the grand unveiling of her ‘Beloved’ portrait. Paparazzi clicking the MAnjula Sowbaghya prepared Chai, Gulab Jamon and served date and walnut cake. And welcomed the Gods again. Sally, a regular guest whose a great support to stephen who together with Manjula gave gifts to the drivers. We’re proud to support Sally’s new ventureOur barge holiday with Mike and Sally in England. We’re missing Manjula. Love you Manj
for working together to create this beautiful image.
‘Beloved’ A portrait of Manjula
Stephen’s love for Manjula . Weaves a bridge, between our worlds. A bridge made of heart strings, a bridge of exploration to the multi dimensional. Manjula’s love for Stephen. Pierces through the veil, as a warm ray on a chilly day.
by Aadirika Kawa
I love my new Manjula. It’s been well worth the wait I understand how much skill and creativity it has taken. I realise there’s so many dimensions to this living and breathing painting, I can see different aspects depending upon where I stand, the lighting and how its photographed. This has taken so much love and dedication to create.
Manjula would laugh and tease me, claiming we already had too many paintings. I can’t get enough of her.
Thank you for my wonderful Christmas present and presence.
Manjula’s assistants: Lucie (the furry one) Satish (the director one) and Stephen (the hairy one) giving yet another cycle. Sowbhagya (who holds up Moksha Manor) and her son Naveen. A happy boy with his new bicycle.
I wish I’d discovered this earlier, when Manjula was with me in person.
I realise with Manjula and others I love, that there are often times when I’m — ‘not quite there.’ I have a tendency to distance, to go numb when stressed, withdraw and move to the edge.
On reflection, I think this might be one of my most significant failings. OK OK, queue here to add to the list….. (of significant failings) 😉
Presence Stephen, be there …
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Maria Popova’s Brain pickings which arrived in my mail box today, relates to this, and has introduced me to Thich Nhat Hanh.
I love this quote and there is more here, if you’re interested….
Some of my friends have been kind enough to share that when I lost Manjula they felt for me and hugged their own loved one closer and tighter.
It’s great that friends gain insights from our loss, which heightens their appreciation of their loved ones now.
….
I”m not sure we can maximise every single day and live it as if its your last (how exhausting) but Thich Nhat Hanh points out that we should strive to be there, to be present and connected to our loved one(s).
I realise, I did what I could in the circumstances but it’s always possible to do more and better.
The intensity of loss highlights how important your love always is and will be, it shows how invaluable is the support you can give each other especially in challenging times.
Manjula continues to give and she was always there and present, remarkably so, more than anyone I’ve known. More in our story, you’ll just have to wait.
I realise now that then you’re shocked by untimely death your love doesn’t perish, it grows in intensity and in a way, absence doesn’t diminish presence.
Her presence is of course beyond all the pics I’ve got around me of Manjula at home or that I occasionally ride through the city 😉 .
Sowbhagya came in one of Manjula’s old dresses. Not the best idea. Lucie followed her into the kitchen thinking it was Manjula, SB hugged Lucie and burst into tears.
I walked Lucie for my own tearful.
Unforeseen and coincidentally photo of MAnjula in the dress recently popped up on Facebook.
Lucie clearly affected. Still missing her in so many ways.
mask mask mask mask no shortage of them at Mysore Bed and Breakfast
As part of remembering Manjula: Vasanth and Satish distributes mycycle masks and small monetary gift to each of our team of drivers. Our big thanks to Ina seen here on the right at Manjula’s birthday party. Ina sent money to help drivers. BabuWe love logo as it’s part of celebrating Manjula. AnjumLokeshNon branded supplies from Vasanth. ShafiAkram
