Category: Manjula’s gift

Signs

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Losing (of course— we don’t lose them and they’re with us always) a loved one opens our minds to all sorts of possibilities.

On my grief journey. I’ve had some surprises.

Manjula, as a Hindu, believed in reincarnation. I supported her and completed the rituals to help her spirit find its new body.

I’ve read many books and gained support in trying to understand what might happen after death. But …

After watching this Netflix documentary I complained to Manjula that I’d not seen or heard a sign. Maybe I’d missed it.

The very next day, I was standing, with a friend, on the rug in the centre of the downstairs lounge at our old house.

A dragonfly (acknowledged as a potential messenger from the ‘other side’) flew in.

It tightly circled the two of us — one — two — three times as we stood in the centre of the room. It then landed on the ‘M’ (on Manjula’s pennant) on the wall nearby.

The dragonfly
The pennants bought on a holiday in the U.K.

I opened the doors and windows and encouraged (arms flapping) the dragonfly to leave the house.

The next morning Sowbhagya found the dead dragonfly on the wooden cabinet, underneath the framed photo of MAnjula where we hang flowers and lights in her memory.

I’d failed to get it to leave.

…

This year we’ve moved to a new house. It’s extra challenging as the previous house is the one MAnjula and I had shared for nine years.

Most of the furniture had gone and so this was one of the last removal trips.

As I walked across the room there was a crunch underfoot.

It was the cow head that had been hanging between the two pennants. It had fallen on the floor and I’d broken it again as I stepped on it.

I looked up to the place it had fallen from. The two pennants were completely reversed and facing the wall.

How is that possible?

…

Seems like an acknowledgement, a message, a sign to me. Who knows?

…

I generally have an open attitude. A belief that anything is possible. Life is complex, much of which we don’t understand and there are layer upon layer to discover.

Clearly. I’m open to the signs.

Thank you MAnjula.

Maybe Billet-Doux was one too.

Billie too

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A teeny tiny kit came to sit on my lap on a visit to the local chai shop.

I guessed — she wanted to be adopted.

Blurred snatched photos

I wasn’t prepared to, so I gently shooed her away.

Later that evening, the first image you can see on this video appeared on my Facebook page. It was from exactly five years before when MAnjula and I had adopted a ginger cat.

We called him Billie, only to discover he wasn’t male so we changed it to Billi reflecting the Hindi word for cat.

He disappeared one day and never returned.

…

The next day after the photograph appeared I went out to find the new kitten.

It seemed like a message from MAnjula to adopt this new kitten in memory of ours, that we’d lost.

I announced this to my Facebook friends and called him ‘Billi too’ as a play on ‘two.’

…

Some of them were not impressed with the name as it clearly was a message from MAnjula and this should be acknowledged in the cat’s name.

So I callled her Billet-Doux which means sweet (or love) letter in French as it was a love letter from MAnjula.

Was this a sign?

How cool!?

…

The video also includes images of Billet-Doux and her kittens.

Manjula continues to be with us in many wonderful ways.

Mango Mania

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At our new house, we’re now hearing the thud of mangoes landing (and not just cricket balls hitting the bat. )

I’m reliably informed by my good friend Ananth who grows them on his farm in Srirangapatnam … they’re …. Raspuri.

“Delish!
These don’t get sweeeeet
But are the best variety of mangoes in my opinion
Sweet with some tart and that characteristic aroma!

Taste best 1–2 days after they get soft, not towards the end when they start getting black dots, which is the optimal time for Alphonso’ “

“break the stems off if you want them to ripen faster —
Leave em on for a slow burn.”

Students thriving through their art.

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Kaliyuvamane students do it again with a wonderful performance at the Bahuroopi national theatre festival held in Mysore.

Rajesh Madhava has spent over a year working with the students on a range of projects.

Their confidence and communication improving dramatically.

Fantastic!

Kaveri with mum Chandrika.

Missing her friends and this great teaching. Well done to all the students and their teacher/facilitator Rajesh Madhava

Check out their wonderful school.

Dharma

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I’ve always had a soft spot for Ashoka who was an innovative Emperor in India over two thousand years ago.

He was the emperor who converted to Buddhism after regretting his army killing thousands in the battle to take over what is now part of the state of Odisha.

…

This week, I’m helping Kaveri with her revision and learning about the Dharma Mahamatras, appointed by the emperor to do good.

I like that

I’m feeling the connections

🤭

Look

We’ve even got our own copy of an Ashoka column, in the house. It was one of the ways he promoted good amongst his people.

So maybe I’m a reincarnated Dharma Mahamatras?

I quite fancy that.

Look at the evidence: social and community work, experimenting with participative democracy in England, radical work with disabled people, ‘Seeing is Believing’ events in India to establish community/business partnerships, facilitating the development of hundreds of community projects and groups, in the name of MAnjula helping young and old people and gifting almost 50 bicycles. I even helped design and deliver — for an Indian company — European-wide workshops on interpreting their ethical policies into appropriate daily business behaviour.

Ok ok, that’s enough of the trumpet blaring. It’s important to say we should be facilitators in helping each other.

Farrell factoid footnote.

What’s the difference between illness and wellness?

I and we, admittedly a joke but with a serious message. We should connect and cooperate to be kind to each other. As sapiens we’ve taken a wrong turning.

I’ve always looked for the ‘we’.

This is so obvious to me.

A top priority is ..

.. Kaveri and helping her develop and grow. When you meet her ask what BK is.

Sharing

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I wasn’t feeling well this week and so Kaveri wrote me a note

How kind and thoughtful is that?

… and then I stumbled across this study which reaffirmed what we know —- how relationships are critical to a happy sustainable, satisfying life.

What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness (Robert Waldinger | TEDxBeaconStreet)

Here’s my girls …

My Indian wife and daughter.

Farrell Factoid Footnote

Kaveri isn’t actually my daughter but it’s as if I’ve ‘adopted’ her and support her on behalf of my beautiful caring compassionate wife

New friends, which name?

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People for Animals appealed for people to adopt their rescue dogs

We know PFA from when Lucie was a pup. They spayed her and made the tell tale notch in her ear so she wouldn’t be picked up in the street and operated on again.

We chose two new friends

and appeared in the ‘Star of Mysore’

But what should we call them?

….

We’ve had the following suggestions. (Some more than once)

Ging (Ginj)

Luce (Luca)

Edwina (teddy bear)

Kappu 

Shunti 

Ginger (Rogers)

Fred (Astaire)

Inji (ginger)

Kari (black)

Tom

Hebden and Bridget ( a play on Hebden Bridge, where I’m from in the UK)

Amy and Vince (amor vincit omnia)

Blackie and Cinnamon

Black and Decker 

Karrupa or Karuppan

Inji —- Together becoming …. Karrupinji 

Pepper and Paprika. 

Black and Tan 

Ranelot and Bufolet 

(french children’s book names for Frog and Toad) 

Marquise de Merteuil and Vicomte de Valmont

(from Dangerous Liaisons to match Billet-Doux, our cat’s name)

Paddington 

Spike 

Summer

Shadow

Biscuit

Cheech and Chong

Luca

Lucia

Babu and Bibi 

Ping and Pong

Jean-Philippe and Marie-Chantal .

ginger

Venus and Pluto

Bingo 

Tofo

Coco

Tango

Momo

Milti

Millu

Broono

Blacky

Browny 

Pancho

Jasmine

…

Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions

If there’s any strong favourites, let me know.

I’ll discuss with Captain Kaveri, ably assisted by General SB 

Update on names

Luca (Lucka)

Tom

….

Jasmine (jas)

Gingee, Shingee or a variation.

Lowly-raised

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I’m feeling a bit low

Just back from walking Lucie after another not-much-sleep night I peeked into the guest book. 

Marie and Armand (see cycling photo) have just returned to Lyon. We had a great time together. Marie, an author and illustrator left a lovely image. Yes it’s me!!

If only I’d remember to ask more guests to write in it, as it proves to be a real tonic. 

Continued…
And again (northern English, you’ll understand)

It helps lift my head up from peering into the grief gravy when I all-too-often reflect on the things I wish I’d done better. I recognise I did what I did in difficult circumstances and my beautiful MAnjula was overall very happy. 

Looks like another trip to Italy might be on the cards.

But I’m always brought up by inviting memories of radiant MAnjula to shine, who will always be a part of me

We have a rich mix of wonderful guests and not only friendly northerners. 🤔🤭

Then wonderful photos pop up.

Thanks to our friend Google