My true love

It will probably never be matched.
We were devoted to each other

One or two quibbles, the odd little secret, things we should have done differently
Normal then
My true love

It will probably never be matched.
We were devoted to each other

One or two quibbles, the odd little secret, things we should have done differently
Normal then
She was only a little mite but even in a very short time has left a gaping hole.
I first heard her yelping as we passed during one of our MYCycle Tours on Srirangapatnam. It was as if one of the guys at a chai shop was teasing or hurting her. I sort of adopted her. For the next week, I saw her every time we passed by.
First impressions were not good. She was slow, almost subdued, had what seemed to be a scar on her head, was pretty run down and a couple of days later was completely covered in fleas. I fed her with milk each time and the locals, who have got to know me over the years realised she was adopted. Typical firangi! She seemed to be really very young but was already lapping up her milk. Her mother was nowhere to be seen. Pups are often cruelly separated and dumped. I treated her and got rid of the fleas. I decided to kidnap her (no one gave a damn) and took her to People for Animals ‘rescue centre’ aka death camp. ( a bit unfair but the level of illness and death is known to be high).
Ruby, as she became known with variants of Too, two and tue…. was left at the rescue centre for a check up and treatment but not for too long. It’s a lovely place with caring staff and volunteers but a lot of illness for puppies. I brought her home after a week. That in itself was a quandary. Should I have left her there for longer? What would the women of the household think?
At first she seemed to be managing OK. Eating, although not very much, the quantity of worms she expelled was amazing. This was the first of three lots. Her means of carriage, the princesses pumpkin with handles aka the shopping bag was ideal and endlessly entertained the local children. They couldn’t believe it when they noticed her little head popping out, I have of course reinforced their view that foreigners are more than a bit weird,

Lucie and Ruby’s relationship was a ‘work in progress’ they generally kept a discreet distance.
She developed a cough and chest infection, laboured breathing, running nose and constant diarrhoea. We seem to be at the vets every other day. They’ve stuffed her with antibiotics, a drip and minerals to rehydrate, vitamins, powder to stop the shits you name it, she’s had it. Michael-virtual-vet-Heath, in Australia was advising from afar. Back at home I created a den out of a cardboard box with a lovely bed with pillow, blanket and neat little door to get in and out. As things seemed to be getting worse I’d just nurse her. Manjula reckons for most of the day. Then the three of us would go out on our Adams family jaunts.
On reflection if might have been better for her to stay longer at the centre and perhaps she was too vulnerable even for the bath. Who really knows. We did our best but for our lovely Ruby the roller coaster ride is over.
We now are left with fond memories and are pleased we could spend that precious time together.
Manjula who was all no-no-no (she was the same with Billi) was won over after just a few days.
It helps me realise together with some of our other experiences (this is not the most challenging by any means) , what a hard life it can be here and how important it is to make the most of it.
so this is just the latest example of …. it’s been a bit of a weird year, more of that later.
How can they find it?
In America, four out of five people who voted for Donald Trump in 2016 saw an ability to bring about change as his most important quality. That tells us less about Trump than it does about the way that real agents of change, social movements that can truly transform people’s lives, have crumbled.
People need change, although they might deny it, and need to feel they have both purpose and some control over their lives.

Image is from my 50th birthday invite and how life changed a few years afterwards.
So what’s life without it purpose or meaning?
Humans, Frankl suggests, find themselves only through creating meaning in the world. Meaning is not something to be discovered – it is something that humans create. They do so by acting upon the world. “Man does not simply exist,” Frankl wrote, “but always decides what his existence will be”
Check the article here for more info.
I created my change and a new meaning through my muse, my catalyst, my Manjula.
I write this on a reflective journey, realising we can’t control, seeking to add to that meaning and find fulfilment whilst holding my dear to me.
I’m a firm believer in listening to the whispers.
It’s not complex.
There’s often a pattern to the things that happen, that we hear or notice, or somehow seem apparent.
They are often messages we can choose to hear or ignore.

Today I’m fondly remembering a friend, my first proper girl friend. I set up home with Tricia at 18 before I even left school. We had a bedsit. It was the downstairs living room of a terraced two-up, two down. The kitchen was shared with the couple upstairs, toilet outside in the yard and ‘slipper’ * baths at the swimming pool down the road.
Well I learned today that Tricia had died earlier this year.
I’d bumped into Tricia again in TK Maxx in Sheffield a few years ago. I’d met her daughters, exchanged stories and introduced her to Manjula over the past two years. I was so pleased we’d reconnected.
I’m sad and sorry to hear she’s gone but grateful for our wonderful times together and that we’d found each other again.
I’m sending positive warmness to her husband and daughters.

The loud whispers ? : people’s deaths, great conversations with the 97 year old and Manjula’s near death experience this year .
The message? : cherish what you have, make the most of it, keep connected to the precious people in your life, be good.


From the Peace Gardens, one of our places in Sheffield
Farrell factoid
* a Victorian swimming pool often had slipper baths alongside. Small bathrooms where you could go for your full wash. Instead of the tin bath in the living room on the fire hearth

A very special friend, the lovely Leela, invited me out for a drink, to celebrate my ‘significant’ birthday. (Yes, I’ve been celebrating it for quite some time now!) this was during my April trip back to Blighty.

Well Leela. Is something of an innovator and is really great at helping others as a facilitator and coach. She’s especially good at using her artistic skills to help people create a shared understanding and most importantly act on it.
Come on Farrell. Get to the point!
well she’s working her magic on me.
Here is my birthday gift, drawn in the next four pictures…… and no that’s correct I’m not 42 😉
Its an invitation.
to work out what it is I love.
what would be your 42 things?
more to follow…
What keeps us going?
the things that can motivate people in corporates, works for Manjula too!
Guests are usually amazed by Manjula, (I am constantly!) particularly when they realise something of her poor background and education, not to mention the difficulties she’s faced. As we all know, she’s extremely capable in running the BnB and shows great wit and intelligence in her day to day interactions. This is the woman who wouldn’t sit in the same room as me (traditional deference) when she first started working for me. Yes FOR me, not me working for her, as it is now! Yes for those who’ve met her it might be difficult to believe that I was once the boss 😉

In another world I’m also a corporate trainer.
One of the workshops I’ve helped design and deliver may help provide insights. It’s about Engaging Employees and we have a three stage model to help businesses Motivate, Mobilise and Measure. As part of this workshop we get participants to watch and discuss a RSA Animate video by Daniel Pink about then surprising thing that motivates people. Take a look for yourself at
I can see this at work in Manjula.
Pink highlights three key motivating factors beyond cash or remuneration, these are: autonomy, mastery and purpose. In Manjula’s case she
-has the latitude to make decisions
– is good at many things in particular making people feel at home and her cooking, (and she knows it!)
-has a clearly defined purpose and knows how to achieve it.
Running a BnB is one of those jobs where people’s satisfaction is easily observed and absolutely critical, the purpose it pretty obvious and very importantly….. one’s ability and effort has a direct and recognisable impact.
That’s why we love it so much. It’s one of the few things I’ve done in my various careers that brings such immense personal satisfaction, thanks to you guys!

And well let’s not forget, it has also brought Manj and I together 😉
we’ve had a few. The latest might be a bit of a challenge.
Vasanth has been a great help in so many of them: whether large or small. He fondly remembers the horse riding period, the riding boots fiasco, finding new ways to experiences India but, I must say, our projects do seem to have got a wee bit bigger: moving to India in itself, is of course, no small
challenge. This, in turn has led to renting a house, furnishing it partly from the lovely things at Ritz Hotel, creating the cycle tours, registering the business, finding the drivers, herding the cats (aka drivers), spending money on lovely art and working out how to haggle so as not to always pay too much foreigner tax, getting a visa every few years… to mention just a few of the different examples of being tossed out of our comfort zones, into the wild unknown. But I wonder if the latest one is a stretch too far….

Do I really have to declare that I’m not an idiot? and if I do and she subsequently finds that I am, is that grounds for divorce?
I’ve just returned from walking Lucy, the dog. Manjula the light of my life, my muse, catalyst and creator who is at the heart of my happiness here is away at the moment. She’s on a brief holiday visiting her mother. What a gap I’ve become so used to her being here to greet me when I return home… with her warm smile and little jokes. Yesterday, before leaving, she declared that there was a cockroach in my bed… ha ha… I went there, only to find she’d changed the bed. Her jokes maybe come from hanging around with guy from Yorkshire for over five years! Poor her..
You may have already come to know her, if you’re among the over 1,000 guests that have visited here at Mysore Bed and Breakfast. If so, you’ll know exactly what Im talking about in my ham fisted way. Many of you have assumed that we were more than partners in the business sense and I can reveal, its true. For some time now- Ive known that I love and cherish her dearly.
So there it is ….. announced to the world. Manjula is the love of my life.
I’ll use this record of our life here in Mysore to introduce more of this wonderful woman wherever possible using her own words.
Stephen