Seven weeks

May 11, 2019 SFLeave a comment

Emotional titbit

I’ve avoided going to our local hotel for a parcel (take out).

During Manjula’s last few months when unable to cook, her friend Sudha would bring a home cooked meal for her each day. I’d get a parcel from Dose Corner. So it’s a firm memory.

Well it’s been seven weeks now so I forced myself go fetch a meal and help move on.

Its a great meal and costs just 110 rs

It’s maybe not surprising but even something as simple as getting the meal is very emotional with tears welling up.

I’m slowly shifting towards happier memories. Last night I put together first stages of the photo book. I’ve been avoiding it.

It was really therapeutic. Not straightforward but really nice to do.

Moving on… with Manjula with me.

It has to change.

May 10, 2019 SFLeave a comment

You have my sympathies.

I’ve posted what must seem a constant stream of feelings. It also can’t be easy to find your way around the many postings.

It reminds me of an interview I gave to a journalist in the UK, years ago. I was working on an innovative approach to engage local communities in helping guide local public services to be more responsive to their needs. After I’d explained my approach. He said, so you launch a whole series of custard pies some hit and some even stick While some fall by the wayside.

I’m beginning to think meandmycycle.com is not dissimilar. A series of disconnected postings ranging from the bizarre, mildly interesting and hopefully a fair few that connect to you.

I’m working on that same theory. Randomly works, sometimes.

Thank you for sticking with it and me.

But I think I need to get a bit better organised and the blog more focussed.

So over the next few weeks I’ll start to focus on:

Our story, with two separate parts Manjula’s amazing story (I’m not biased, the more interesting by far) and Stephen’s

There will also be insights into this amazing country….

Life in India

and some bits a pieces:

Titbits a sort of hotch potch

Clearly labelled (yeh!)

I’ll use feedback to review, amend and revise.

So please….. As always, comments are appreciated and feedback on what works for you and suggestions of how I can improve would be great.

Thanks for your invaluable support.

Have a heart

May 8, 2019February 21, 2023 SFLeave a comment

You’d think that after almost four years of Manjula and my experiences of the ill health industry, that would have been enough.

Well no, clearly not. I’ve had a battery of check up tests including an ECG with a little irregularity spotted, so move one step forward to ECHO.

Result is ….. high blood pressure has resulted in slightly enlargement means watch diet, do exercise and monitor blood pressure. At or over 140 on a regular basis go see the Doctor.

I had, of course, to make my stale joke about there not being any stress in my life. 🙃

AWOL

May 6, 2019 SF1 Comment

one of the directors is absent without leave.

Mycycle tours and travels Pvt ltd was set up to ensure a secure income, home etc for Manjula but now it’s not needed in quite that way.

As we’ve decided to continue two good friends, Manjula’s adopted sister Tanuja and brother Satish have stepped into the breach to become new directors.

We’re at the accountants having provided: national identity card, PAN (tax) card, bank account details, 3 x ID photos and then been videoed online to prove who they are! It’s not straightforward to put it mildly.

so here we are, the new team, continuing in Manjula and MyCycles good name.

Key Stage: behind the scenes

May 5, 2019May 5, 2019 SF3 Comments

I’ve had a bit of a wobble over the past few days. (Nothing surprising there, at the best of times).

With the invaluable and repeated help of Tom and Ann and of course my support hammock of friends (including Amy, Sue, Dave and you) around the world. I’ve reached a certain stage.

Clap of Thunder just came to Mysore nicely timed to emphasise.

I know it’s not absolute and there maybe some wavering or even three steps back in the board game of life.

Fact is I’ve been haunted by that final instruction to the Doctors to ‘let her go’ and not resuscitate Manjula after her second heart attack.

There is no way of knowing, there is no ‘best’ or ‘if only’. I did what I could do in the circumstances, in line with Manjula’s wishes to stop any further suffering, there was no choice really. She was very poorly, lost a lot of weight and was unable to fight anymore.

Intellectually that’s it, no argument, sort of accepted. Emotionally I continue to bounce around on the roller coaster.

Thank you for your support in this impossible situation.

Working in Mysore

May 5, 2019 SFLeave a comment

Life continues in the midst of my own private chaos

These workers can be found outside jewellers shops throughout India

In a few minutes he’d rethreaded my Tibetan bracelet which was showing signs that it might break soon.

I have most definitely nearly stopped buying things for the house. Manjula would complain that there was no room left for any more, usually paintings.

I did however have to nab this box and the guy beside them on the pavement made a new key to fit the lock.

A further selection of photos of workers can be found here

Here’s men in action on the main road near our home.

Health and what?

A smile

May 4, 2019May 9, 2019 SF1 Comment

Manjula had a most beautiful smile that many have said lit up the room and left a presence in their heart.

A smile brings us together and Manjula most definitely brought people together, crossed social, class, cultural caste and international boundaries and made connections. Just one of her astonishing attributes. (There’s that Farrell bias again 🙂)

“Care granted to the sick, welcome offered to the banished, forgiveness itself are worth nothing without a smile enlightening the deed. We communicate in a smile beyond languages, classes, and parties. We are faithful members of the same church, you with your customs, I with mine.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I know this of Manjula, she beamed her smile, passed on her warmth, lit up our way regardless of the toll her gattling gun of illnesses was making on her poor depleted body. To her very last she squeezed out a giggle and a smile.

Thank you to Janie for this wonderful portrait.

Magic roundabout again

April 30, 2019 SF2 Comments

It has occurred to me that there could’ve been a third roundabout or Merry-go-round. That wouldn’t have been as merry.

If we hadn’t met, spotted her illness when we did and had our resources available Manjula would almost certainly have died a year ago maybe sooner. She would have suffered much much more.

She might have continued as a maid, tying flowers at night, paying off her previous husbands debts, living in a one room house and not feeling as happy and fulfilled, as I know she did.

I had never ever expected to work with my partner. It was however amazing. We were a great team (including Lucie), complemented each other admirably, created a wonderful open welcoming place with a super life which, of course, was fun not work!

That would never have happened if we hadn’t met.

We got married, went on holidays, established a world wide family of friends, Manjula learned English (and unfortunately English humour), showed her wit and intelligence, grew into her new role and blossomed.

Non of this would have happened if we’d not met.

I’m slowly learning to accept and acknowledge what is and to be somewhat grateful for what we had.

Her place in my heart makes me moistly smile.

Stop the magic roundabout

April 30, 2019 SF9 Comments

I want to help Manjula get off and get back on at an earlier time, let’s relive…. let’s try again…. if only

The special flexi specs (First introduced here) aren’t good enough. I need a Tardis. (Dr Who’s time travelling gizmo)

or….. I want to jump to an alternative reality rather than just time travel so that I can rerun our life but with a different outcome!. Let’s try again. I help Manjula get off one merry go round and then jump on another. In my magical thinking in this alternate world…. We meet, fall in love, this time she doesn’t get the series of crushing illnesses and we live happily ever after.

Maybe in this current world where she’s died she only had a very limited cache of ‘good’ luck; she used all the good luck that was left over in her life in the nine years we were together and thats why she had to go. In this alternative world she’d have more good luck.

You will see more of the total picture when I share her story. She did have a very very very tough time throughout her life and what seems like astonishingly bad luck in the 36 years before we met.

Yet she remained positive, a bright light with a beautiful smile she radiated joy.

Since we met she’s had better luck and we’ve had a wonderful life but Manjula still had to deal with her illness and its impact.

Maybe this bad luck in Manjula’s life would be interpreted by some Hindu’s as repayment for ‘mistakes’ or even repayment for ‘bad’ in a previous life. Whatever, there can be no doubt that she has now well and truly repaid her debt for any transgressions in that life.

Surely she now has a massive deposit of wealth in the Karma bank because of the good soul she has been in this life. So I hope and believe she will be kindly rewarded in her next life.

and not just with ice cream

So where is that other magic roundabout to jump onto and experience the different alternate reality? I realise I’m rambling now but miss her terribly and want her here with me now.

We have sent her off with our love and kept some of her in our own hearts.

Today is a difficult day

To live in others hearts is not to die

April 29, 2019April 29, 2019 SF3 Comments

Manjula’s Mysore, our shared passion, will continue

Manjula has created a home to share, where people from around the world have visited and connected with others of like minded openness.

Her essence permeates the space and she’s left a piece, a mark with all of us.

We will honour her wishes, her work, and follow her pattern.

Manjula’s Mysore Bed and Breakfast will remain and change. We’ll build on what Manjula created and ensure it’s the same but different.

You can help

Come to visit and send your friends.

If you’d like to get more involved we also invite old and new friends come and help out. For a couple of weeks or longer come and help look after the place. In return for bed and breakfast help keep the place clean, welcome guests and maybe help create a new dimension to Manjula’s place.

There’s even been a few guests interested in setting up their own BnB so why not come give it a try and dip your toes in the water, just learn by doing.

I’ll be away over the next two months then reopen.