Christmas gift giving was delayed as Kaveri and I were otherwise engaged on the day itself.
We combined it with my birthday on New Years Eve and Sowbaghya created a lovely day.
Great to feel the love of friends here and away and to share special time with Kaveri.
Please say hello to Kaveri
Over two years ago I asked friends to keep an eye out for a young girl who I might support in Manjula’s name.
There’s no shortage of children experiencing challenging circumstances here in India. I wanted to find someone with a similar background to MAnjula but no one came forward.
Then one day in the park opposite our house I heard a helloooooo.
My first introduction to Kaveri
Shortly after that first meeting I was using Manjula’s ‘flash cards’ to discover how much English she knew.
This video shows how she responded by turning the tables on me
I was impressed with her confident assertiveness with a foreigner she’d only just met.
Yesterday Sowbaghya who has become indispensable at Mysore Bed and Breakfast and Radikha Kaveri’s aunty who’s more like a sister and I were reflecting with kaveri on how she’d changed over this last year or so.
I’d clearly spotted a smart cookie, confident and assertive a good communicator. She’s carried along that same track
Yesterday reading a pictorial version of the Little Prince she was confidently tackling unfamiliar words switching to phonetic pronunciation where necessary.
She’s important in my life for many reasons not least for helping me manage my grief. Growing to help me fill the space around it.
I look forward to our continuing time together and helping her continue to grow her beautiful character.
In the past week Kaveri has attended a market with children selling their artistic creations, meeting the rich mix of Mysore Bed and Breakfast guests, attended a classical (grand) piano concert, and today visited three child focused alternative schools we’re considering for next year.
She left people impressed with her articulate English, and friendly confidence.
What a star.
STOP PRESS CHECK THE VIDEO
Manjula’s Mysore is now the name of the new business. and we’ve already done a few things…
A fun day of activities for forty young visually impaired women on what would have been Manjula’s 49th birthday. Please Check the video created by Faizan.
We’ll always do something on her birthday
Created a garden in the park opposite.
A holiday in Kannur for our extended team
Reopened mysore bed and breakfast and mycycle tours. This month the MCC : Mysore City Corporation issued a business licence and so we’ve officially welcomed our first guests.
The new business has allowed Stephen to get a business visa, to continue to stay in India. So far he’s not been able to get an OCI (overseas citizen of india) and most importantly it’s another way to celebrate MAnjula
Manjula’s Mysore is a three year project to do good as MAnjula would have wanted
A critical (focussed on wish fulfilment) part of our growing team set out on a search today
Satish was captain, Sowbaghya was translator-leader-investigator, Stephen was only half there.
Behind the scenes were Sarvesh (the facilitator) and Radhika (auntie) offering support.
The subject was an increasingly well known girl.
I returned to Mysore almost three weeks ago and last week went to visit kaveri.
I was a bit confused finding their house but eventually got there with the kind help of a shopkeeper.
Only to find they’d moved. What?!
They’re estranged from grandmother, grandfather, auntie and uncle who live in a room opposite our house who had no idea where they’d gone. The area yes, but the specific house, no way Jose. To top it all chandrika’s phone wasn’t working, so they weren’t contactable.
So what to do?
Rhadika knew she was at school through a friend who’s sister attended the same school. She couldn’t help on action day as she was ill.
So SB volunteered for mission impossible.
To Infiltrate the school.
The aforementioned team set off across the city after sorting out the confusion of where and what time to go to find Kaveri as she finished her school day.
The white old man waited discreetly in Satish’s auto rickshaw. It’s not done for old men to be hanging around school gates, even in India.
Got her
She arrived at the auto, with a steady stream of her friends passing by with her declaring ‘foreign uncle,’ as if this was the necessary proof as previously they hadn’t believed her.
Any low profile was lost.
But what a result. We’d found her, went to their new home, met up with mum and dad got agreement for her to spend the weekend over with us and the about to arrive Ina.
She’ll also stay with grandma on the Saturday
So my reward is seeing my adopted granddaughter and we’re tentatively building bridges between family break up.
Triple Result
It’s same but different….
…as it will continue to provide services to help people visiting Mysore, have a great time, through Mysore Bed and Breakfast and MyCycle Tours.
We’ll also commemorate Manjula through her gifts and now with the added extra of working with young people, to help them grow, develop and thrive..
….
Most recently we celebrated Manjula’s birth anniversary with an eventful day for visually impaired young women. Here’s our press release
We’ve helped with a young man’s education and plan to do more of that next year by supporting a young girl
We’ve also:
Manjula’s Mysore was our domain on the internet but we’ve now gone one step further and named the new company after the woman who made it all possible.
Manjula’s Mysore will continue to do good, reflecting Manjula’s kindness, through partnerships of NGOs, business and with our team of community volunteers.
And the one’s I like are also serious.
A very good friend — who will remain nameless, until I get his permission — is responsible for this.
We met during the initial lockdown. We were still allowed to cycle, as I did most mornings. We had great conversations as we cycled together.
I joked that he was receiving a degree in critical thinking, in return I was losing years by the day, sharing insights and learning from someone over forty years younger.
At first he didn’t admit to his parents that he was cycling with a Firangi, a foreigner.
There were some sensitivities in the community as they were confused about where the virus might be caught. Obviously, Foreigners might have brought it into the country.
When he did tell his parents, I became known as Tata or grandfather.
Some weeks later we cycled on my favourite place srirangapatnam and met up with his extended family for breakfast. Great!
His mum declared later that I wasn’t a Tata, more an uncle.
Thanks Amma, I appreciate that, for me it is acceptance and that I’m younger than expected.
Later nameless reflected and decided that godfather was more appropriate. I like that too.
As I’ve now turned 65 — he says with a wobbly voice, while leaning on his stick — and finding new things to do in the community that commemorate MAnjula, it seems to fit.
Over the past few months you might have noticed a little girl. I’m trying to get her mum to let me to finance her education. Now that really is being a Godfather.
So I’ve used one of Kaveri’s paintings of me and created a card.
Nameless and Kaveri will be the first to get one of my super new jokey-serious cards to remind them I’m here for you.
On the back are details of how to make contact whenever you wish for whatever reason.
Footnote: the term Godfather is not intended to reflect any diety or relate to any Christian rituals nor resemble anyone living, dead or in the afterlife.
the survival of the famous twelve, an englishman and his dog
We’re all back home now but what an adventure.
Manjula’s Mysore, our new venture — sponsored our happy holiday — to thank everyone for their help and helping us commemorate Manjula
Enid Blyton anticipated the challenges of five young people holidaying together but eleven of all ages in India! Now that is madness. Who’s idea was that then?
Chera Rocks is a great location. Chosen because it was close to where Manjula and I first went on holiday together but had the capacity and closeness to the beach that we needed. We ate together, could join or not as we preferred and had enough to entertain us without leaving the ‘resort.’
Holidaying as a family let alone a group with no previous experience of being together can be a real challenge but what a wonderful trip it turned out to be. Maybe our angel was watching over us.
the motley bunch say farewell, for now.
some of us sneak an extra night and have the exciting storm and refreshing showers
..
Our own fragment left at last
It was a wonderful trip thanks to all and a big hug for Manjula
Five families going together on holiday together is a challenge anywhere so, the Englishman had to visit beforehand to get the ‘lie of the land’. with a half-hearted attempt at planning. Sally and Shabaz as always were an essential help.
On MAnjula’s death anniversary, we came up with a great idea to celebrate her— even more — by going on holiday to one of her favourite places.
Kannur is where Manjula and I first went on holiday together after our engagement in 2015.
It’ll be a great adventure with MAnjula giggling from the antics of the loosely formed team.
It’s a challenge, anywhere, to bring together fragments of four families with two additions of an Englishman and his dog but this is India. It’ll be OK.
It’s a great way to thank Sowbaghya, Tanuja and Satish for the help they’ve been in so many ways, including setting up the new business.
It’s also an opportunity to spend fun time with Kaveri and her young auntie Rhadika.
We’ve got the go ahead from Kaveri’s mum, Satish has worked it out with the school and Jo will definitely have completed her term.
So we’re good to go…
Wonderful
So which amazing place is going to host this motley crew?
I have swam in it, swallowed it, fought it, opened my arms to it, shrivelled from it, tolerated it, hated it,.. It’s hit me like a personal tsunami, been wishy washy, sticky beyond treacle, invaded my brain to make it fuzzy and cracked open my tentative comfort zones. I know it’s a lifelong friend I have to accept it. It’s equal with and probably surpasses the combined effect of all the worse times in my life and for the first time uncovered real solid regrets.
It’s a gravy train that doesn’t bring benefits or maybe it does.
My heart was broken by losing Manjula, I covered it up and held it close but now I’m beginning to feel able to open my heart again. So there are positives to discover and learning to reveal.
I now love Manjula even more and in ways that I couldn’t imagine. I’m tentatively beginning to be kind to myself.
Part two of this series of postings is the heart
Thank you for your support during this horrendous journey.
I love you Manjula
Me and MYCycle 