Tag: care

Kaveri and me

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We’re at one of our fave eateries this evening — Depth and Green— for a great mix of food, drink and experience.

We both had a lovely green smoothie — delicious, with humous and toast for her and sandwich with egg and cheese and veg for me.

A young woman (I wasn’t organised enough to take photos) walked over to introduce herself.

She’d been watching us and was so impressed with how we related , wanting to know something about us and our magic.

We recalled our first meeting in the park opposite my house in Siddartha layout. Kaveri had been visiting her grandmother who was night-watch woman at a construction site next to the park.

That was five years ago. Wow. It’s hard to believe.

It’s disputed but I recall her saying helloooooo as I crossed the park. She reckons I said hello first. Whatever.

…

I explained, to the young woman, that my wife MAnjula had died seven years ago. She wanted me to help others from a similar background to her. So I appealed for any suggestions for young people I could support. None came forward, until the fateful day I met Kaveri.

She was impressed how we’d created such a positive bond.

We acknowledged how people might misunderstand our situation (old man and young girl hanging out together) but it made her happy to meet us and realised what a positive caring relationship we had.

My role (and that of the other director) in supporting Kaveri is on behalf of our business ‘Manjula’s Mysore’ which has an agreement with her mother and active involvement of her grandmother and auntie.

Footnote

When people get to know my background :

Qualified social worker from over forty years ago.

Manager of social (welfare) services in U.K. including teams of social workers, assessors and carers

Experience working with children and families, intervening to support and protect children, in some senses a ‘policing’ role on behalf of the state.

Risk assessment of families, ensuring they’re supported when experiencing difficulties and intervening to ensure the children are safe

Assessing prospective adoptive parents

Delivering workshops and providing consultancy on values and ethics, guiding businesses to socially responsible (CSR)

Working with Hindu, African-Caribbean, Bangladeshi, Sikh, white working class and disabled people’s communities

Plus I’m supported by a network of childcare professionals and we’re operating on behalf of our company subject to the agreement it has with Kaveri’s mother.

… they realise this is a professional set up with Kaveri’s development and safety as our utmost priority.

So there’s much more to our Manjula’s Mysore’s involvement over the past five years.

In India, nothing is quite as it seems.

Our successful support of Kaveri involves money, skills and help-in-kind from our business and contributions from past guests from around the world. .

Manjula’s Mysore’s Corporate (CSR) Responsibility has now included: creativity days in schools and for forty visually disabled young women, gifting bicycles, teaching/presentations, memorial garden, cycle tours,, accommodation, ‘reflective space’ for young adults, our care for our community.

Kaveri and the women in her family.

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I had the pleasure of meeting Kaveri from school and spending some time with the women of the family.

…

Kaveri and I first visited the new babe.

His mum Radhika (her auntie) Kaveri and I have spent much time together over the past few years, especially in school summer holidays when they’d go to swimming lessons, stay with me and we’d have vacations in Kannur and Wayanad.

The little one, entertained by Kaveri and Radhika.
Gotcha

Grandmother is forever avoiding my camera.

Next I visited Chandrika’s (Kaveri’s mum’s) new home for dinner

I had a lovely catch up with Kaveri and Chandrika drawing the neighbourhood kids in to say hello
I reminded them of the agreement Chandrika and I (on behalf of the business, with the invaluable help of Sarvesh) had for us to support Kaveri and work with Chandrika to help Kaveri do the best she can be

I used the opportunity (hobby horse —soap box) to emphasise we should help Kaveri to be strong, a good communicator, and be kind. This was more important than stuffing her full of facts, in order to pass exams.

Kaveri was the full on interpreter.

We needed to encourage, support, even put pressure on Kaveri — who can be a bit lazy— to do better

Just before I left Chandrika, Kaveri and I went back to bring all the girls together again.

I explained that my current meetings with advocates were to enable me to stay in India My priority being continue to support Kaveri for ten years into adulthood.

I am so proud of Kaveri, MAnjula is sooooo pleased.

The family grows

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No not (just) the car.

It’s important to recognise and realise how much my adopted family here in India as helped me survive the most difficult years in my life.

Sowbaghya is so critical to my life here in Mysore

She’s project managed and coordinated the rejuvenation of the radical red, that is now attention seeking in and around Mysore and Srirangaptnam

That’s the tip of the mountain of help she has been.

Sowbaghya is important to me and has kept me and the business going.

Thank you Sowbaghya for all your help.

I firmly believe that grief is always with us but becomes more manageable as we fill the space around it with important valued people and ‘things’ we do.

The next member of the family, everyone knows, the irrepressible Kaveri. Grief manager extraordinaire.

I can’t begin to list what she does for me.

She makes me smile (and cry.)

She’s cool.

She’s a big thing.

Our mini team is complete with Kaveri’s ‘sister’ Radhika, a wonderful young woman.

I look forward to witnessing her develop and we growing together through the years.

Oh ….. Trishalla and Eregowda, have been a great support through difficult and remembering times, you’ll have to wait to see where that leads.

A special mention for: Sarvesh, Vasanth, Satish, Tanuja and their families.

We’ve all worked together to cherish and continue Manjula’s radiance through our projects: events, school, community meals, creativity days, supporting Kaveri, and making Manjula’s garden in the park.

Not to forget our guests who have become family and my very own DNA family folks in the U.K. and Canada

Ina, our every-year guest who was a big buddy of MAnjula and now me, in front of the banner created by other guests.

There’s not only humans in my family…

Post Brexit

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I would joke that there was life after Brexit in the U.K. as an island old people’s home.

I take it back — there’s not enough people to staff it or tomatoes to feed the residents. .

But it’s worse: the inhumanity: commodification of people care, indifference of the owners, ignorance and inaction of the families, callousness of a privatised only-care-for-the-rich system, means you’re dumped into concentrated carelessness.

This article illuminates

We shouldn’t be surprised but why should we or how can we care?

Just make sure you,’re not feeble and alive to have to enjoy the mouldy fruits of the system

I sometimes scoff about extended supportive family networks. I shouldn’t but I do question whether they shouldn’t also be on life support. The fact is it’s the compassion and care amplified through people connections to each other we sorely need injecting to revitalise our communities

Me as a 66 year old am about to go care for an eight year old that helps blow life into this bundle of walking cobwebs.

I feel young again. Ha ha

Manjula’s Mysore

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In Memory of Manjula, Satish and Tanuja have launched our new business.

It’s same but different….

…as it will continue to provide services to help people visiting Mysore, have a great time, through Mysore Bed and Breakfast and MyCycle Tours.

We’ll also commemorate Manjula through her gifts and now with the added extra of working with young people, to help them grow, develop and thrive..

….

Most recently we celebrated Manjula’s birth anniversary with an eventful day for visually impaired young women. Here’s our press release

We’ve helped with a young man’s education and plan to do more of that next year by supporting a young girl

We’ve also:

  • sponsored meals at an ashram for older people
  • sited benches in two parks in Mysore
  • taken our team on holiday to the beach in Kerala
  • provided almost 50 cycles as gifts to individuals and organisations
Satish helping out at our eventful day for forty visually impaired young women.

Manjula’s Mysore was our domain on the internet but we’ve now gone one step further and named the new company after the woman who made it all possible.

Manjula’s Mysore will continue to do good, reflecting Manjula’s kindness, through partnerships of NGOs, business and with our team of community volunteers.

Canada Cares

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Potable water at drinking fountains for people and dogs.
Thinking about children and not driving rashly.
Cycle routes and quiet, slow roads.
Buttons to change the lights to cross the road safely.
Cars stopping at the lights and not over the line.
Rubbish/litter bins with a shelf for recycling items which poor people collect and sell.

Drivers keep to the lane and stop for pedestrians at zebra crossings and side roads.

Saying sorry and carrying cycles on the front of buses.
Guests of Mysore Bed and Breakfast that welcome you into their home…. even after getting to know me.

Considerate Canadians helping out.

That’s nice.

Postscript

While I was out and preparing this posting someone came round (or maybe overnight) and stole Trixie, my new friend. So not all Canadians are good apples.

Trixie, and I’ve only just met her.