I wish I’d discovered this earlier, when Manjula was with me in person.
I realise with Manjula and others I love, that there are often times when I’m — ‘not quite there.’ I have a tendency to distance, to go numb when stressed, withdraw and move to the edge.
On reflection, I think this might be one of my most significant failings. OK OK, queue here to add to the list….. (of significant failings) 😉
Presence Stephen, be there …
Maria Popova’s Brain pickings which arrived in my mail box today, relates to this, and has introduced me to Thich Nhat Hanh.
I love this quote and there is more here, if you’re interested….
Some of my friends have been kind enough to share that when I lost Manjula they felt for me and hugged their own loved one closer and tighter.
It’s great that friends gain insights from our loss, which heightens their appreciation of their loved ones now.
I”m not sure we can maximise every single day and live it as if its your last (how exhausting) but Thich Nhat Hanh points out that we should strive to be there, to be present and connected to our loved one(s).
I realise, I did what I could in the circumstances but it’s always possible to do more and better.
The intensity of loss highlights how important your love always is and will be, it shows how invaluable is the support you can give each other especially in challenging times.
Manjula continues to give and she was always there and present, remarkably so, more than anyone I’ve known. More in our story, you’ll just have to wait.
I realise now that then you’re shocked by untimely death your love doesn’t perish, it grows in intensity and in a way, absence doesn’t diminish presence.
Her presence is of course beyond all the pics I’ve got around me of Manjula at home or that I occasionally ride through the city 😉 .