Category: Stephen’s Story

Signs

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Losing (of course— we don’t lose them and they’re with us always) a loved one opens our minds to all sorts of possibilities.

On my grief journey. I’ve had some surprises.

Manjula, as a Hindu, believed in reincarnation. I supported her and completed the rituals to help her spirit find its new body.

I’ve read many books and gained support in trying to understand what might happen after death. But …

After watching this Netflix documentary I complained to Manjula that I’d not seen or heard a sign. Maybe I’d missed it.

The very next day, I was standing, with a friend, on the rug in the centre of the downstairs lounge at our old house.

A dragonfly (acknowledged as a potential messenger from the ‘other side’) flew in.

It tightly circled the two of us — one — two — three times as we stood in the centre of the room. It then landed on the ‘M’ (on Manjula’s pennant) on the wall nearby.

I opened the doors and windows and encouraged (arms flapping) the dragonfly to leave the house.

The next morning Sowbhagya found the dead dragonfly on the wooden cabinet, underneath the framed photo of MAnjula where we hang flowers and lights in her memory.

I’d failed to get it to leave.

The dragonfly

…

This year we’ve moved to a new house. It’s extra challenging as the previous house is the one MAnjula and I had shared for nine years.

Most of the furniture had gone and so this was one of the last removal trips.

As I walked across the room there was a crunch underfoot.

It was the cow head that had been hanging between the two pennants. It had fallen on the floor and I’d broken it again as I stepped on it.

I looked up to the place it had fallen from. The two pennants were completely reversed and facing the wall.

How is that possible?

…

Seems like an acknowledgement, a message, a sign to me. Who knows?

…

I generally have an open attitude. A belief that anything is possible. Life is complex, much of which we don’t understand and there are layer upon layer to discover.

Clearly. I’m open to the signs.

Thank you MAnjula.

Maybe Billet-Doux was one too.

Welcome to our new home

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and another chapter for our family community.

Complete with Mangoes.

We’ve been here a week.

and visited Depth and Green

Nearly everyday. My fave drink is Beetroot, ginger lemonade and we all like the veggie burger, pasta, pizza and apple pie! When they’re available.

But very sorry to let Gingee go …

Two young dogs had proven too much.

And Kaveri set out on a ‘new foot’ with a bath for Lucca

Breakfast is ready.

We’re on a slow start with Kurt and Loe returning to visit from Belgium (with a third member of family) our very first guests.

Last evening we even had games night.

Thanks for helping relaunch us.

…

Manjula and Lucie in their varied forms are beginning to settle into their new home. Dragonfly and pennants are already here with a dramatic new episode to their story.

More later.

Mysore Moments.

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I find myself in interesting situations.

That’s the nature of India.

Meeting women from famous families, telling stories at events, Hindu/Muslim mixed marriages, life is a rich mix of experiences!

Especially at the moment with our annual event

Sophisticated Kaveri with her mum Chandrika.

Attending Kaveri’s Dad’s (he’s deceased) nephews Muslim wedding. Kaveri is Hindu.

Hiding bride
Crooner
It’s the groom!
Not easy — riding away
Great mix of headwear. Fun spotting the many different styles of clothing
Mysuru Experience

I shared a love story but got no photos.

Illuminations for Dasra , more to follow
New friend.

Awards Ceremony for Asha my yoga teacher.

…

I missed taking photos of the women.

Daughter of a Kannada novelist known as Triveni and sister of the founder of a change-making low cost airline.

Woodberry Wetlands

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A great discovery close to where I’m staying on Harringay Green Lanes

A short (ish) 30 minute walk —— (the full loop will reopen in Feb 2026) from Harringay Green Lanes overground or as I’ve now discovered an even shorter walk (10 minutes) from Manor House Underground station —- gets you to the wetlands and their great cafe.

I’ve visited almost everyday of my recent visit for their sourdough melted cheese sandwich and make friends with the wildlife.

I’ve marvelled at the birds, especially the family of swans with their rapidly growing seven dusky grey cygnets

I’ve met a lovely mix of people here, including the wonderful hosts.

An added treat this week was ….

A final farewell.

Another friend demanded to be included

A pigeon with a penchant for melted cheese.

No way Jose can you have the ginger beer.

I’m desperate Dan

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I seriously shouldn’t bother the busy MP with my issues. I’m not even a citizen. But I am close to desperate and it’s stressful!

So I give it a go.

… here’s a bit more of why?

Another great experience of India.

My 10.30am docs appointment hadn’t begun by 11.10 so I legged it to go see the Maharaja (he’s also the MP and I’d had a message inviting me just this morning) for 11.30

Of course it wasn’t exactly a timed appointment. It isn’t with a doc so it’s hardly likely to be with Royalty — now, is it?

We’re gathered in the outer office.

Groups and the odd individual — yes I’m the oddest — waiting to see the boss.

After 90 minutes he actually stops seeing visitors in the office and comes out, for it to become an orderly-free-for-all, we take it in turns to plead our case.

He agrees to write a letter to central govt.

Barat and I go post it.

More interesting insights into a Mysore Palace

Stephana Farrella

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I’m in an absolutely amazing institution.

It’s my week to be tested and my friendly neurologist in addition to the many tests she’s imposed, has suggested I get my hearing tested.

But of course whilst I’ve complemented the staff here on doing sterling jobs, it’s efficient and easy-going.

A challenge to create and maintain especially in a large institution of any kind.

I still can’t resist taking the piss.

Remember I’m here for a hearing test.

I’m in a waiting room at the audiology clinic at the institution.

Look at the photo.

We’re maybe 200 metres from the entrance door.

I’ve spent a week dropping drops in my ear and fresh from the ENT physician with a nifty, teeny vacuum cleaner to suck out the wax

Yes I’m in the audiology block waiting to have my hearing tested— that’s assuming I can hear security yelling out my name from the door 200 metres away .

This couldn’t be made up. It’s like a comedy skit.

So, precisely on time, the rain has started with its heavy patter on the ( temporary plastic) roof.

Yes the ‘hard of hearing’ might have a challenge to hear their name called out for the HEARING test.

But let’s be fair. In India everyone turning up at a clinic will have at least one member of the family with them to help out.

So I hope that when they call out the name for the lonely old Firangi (foreigner) to go for his test, they’ll put extra effort in to ensure he can hear it.

Maybe they’ll call

Stephana Farrella

But that for another time as it’s part of one of Manjula’s tales.

—

How come exactly one week ago I walked straight in to the doc, this week there’s tons of people.

BUT do not let my stupid desire to have a joke at everything camouflage the fact that it’s a great place and the staff who include students from Kerala and other states do a fantastic job.

It involves a lot of testing and not just the outer ear.

Well done team.

You’re a real credit.

Searching for Security and finding art

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Many know that I’ve been looking to be a student or volunteer to pursue my interests, make a contribution and to continue to live in my adopted country.

I’ve made innumerable contacts with education institutes but options were few as I couldn’t do the PhD I wanted to (due to my masters) and the idea of another and full time masters felt too much.

My first interest was to pursue an art course. We’ve also organised wonderful creativity days at Kaliyuvamane and the NGO for visually impaired young women.

It’s one of those things I’d failed to do and always held an interest.

Currently Kaveri and I dabble a bit

But look what I found.

Hidden away —

—just up the road from a Stupa here in Mysore

An art college

The principal and his daughter.

More details here

I’m due on a holiday to the U.K.

I’ll revisit when I get back home and see if it’s feasible to do a course there and get a student visa.

As madam would say: ‘let’s see’

More later on the volunteering possibilities.

CANDO custard pies.

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Getting people to work together and actively engage in their locality is a critical part of participative democracy.

In the 90’s I was asked to focus on the town of Holmfirth in West Yorkshire to consider how individuals and local organisations could work together to service and support each other.

As the project developed I was interviewed by a local reporter.

I was asked what initiatives would we establish and what projects are likely to work. “We don’t know until we try. We’ll use action research, suck it and see.”

“So,” said the reporter, “it’s as if you’ll throw a series of custard pies and see which ones will stick?” .

I like the analogy.

That’s about it. Spending time on research is too slow, it’s best to dive in there, changing and adapting as you go along.

We also brought our Internet workshops to the town A great success wherever we introduced it, including to young people in Leeds and veterinary practices throughout the U.K.!

Footnote.

Background

Representative democracy is our current system but wherever possible we should be participative, helping people be active participants and not passive recipients of the decisions others make on their behalf.

Voting is necessary but what does it mean on a day to day basis? it might involve single issue campaigns, volunteering to serve, joining measures the council’s introduce to garner your opinion.

The council/local authority/corporation called Kirklees Metrolotian Council I worked for, in West Yorkshire, brought in great innovations.

As well as reaching out to engage we tried to support people to have the confidence and competencies to take their part.

That was over thirty years ago and such experiments are struggling as the government role is decimated.