I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t been avoiding it.
I’ve travelled through the most difficult period in my life. I’ve faced it, even embraced it, it’s still with me and always will, grief has become my unwelcome friend.
As I follow Manjula’s teeny tiny steps, remember our happy and yet challenging life together, as peeping through the cloudy sadness I learn more and love more about her, realise how lucky I was and continue to celebrate my beautiful, wonderful, kind wife.
I’m sharing always, and I continue to write our story but it will be some time yet before it’s finished. At times, it feels like I’m showing my devotion by building the Taj Mahal in matchsticks. So hang on a little longer. 🙃
In the meantime, there’s early postings about our life together, here on our site for you.
I blame myself. Nurse Farrell is trying to rehydrate Lucie. It’s a drip set up for water under her skin that will then spread into her body.
So it’s relatively straightforward and not intravenous. It’s twice a day and there’s lots of water.
Between us though we manage to add complexity.
Last night, after a major spillage of half the water it was relatively easy-going.
Next day, not so good.
First thing today Lucie decides to do a big shake as if she’d just stepped out of a river, presumably because the bad bad nurse dropped a smidgeon of water on her fur. So needle came out and I had to replace it and jab her again.
Next she was standing rigid, clearly uncomfortable, I got her to sit down. The early puppy training of SIT! being useless so it entailed manhandling. Eventually I get her to lie down without knocking the needle out but on my feet.
I’m now stuck here watching the interminable drops expecting it to last an age.
I have time to catch up with my writing. 🙂✍🏽🚴🏽🗄🧷🖌☮️🚭🔔 and realise there’s soooo many emojis.
But I’ve still not had my breakfast!
Do we really need to do this twice everyday? It’s taking hours. I’ll plan better with my paraphernalia around me…..
This was how the professional did it yesterday. Doc Bhagya.
So who’s the drip?
Update
The merciless drip drip dripping took three hours and we’ve now created a camel, perhaps more accurately a dromedary.
Evening drippping completed in 40 mins morning torture must have been something else problem. Only issue this eve was jittery ness from fireworks.
Farrell Factoid: Lucy has had both liver and kidney issues this year, primarily shown through, vomiting and ‘loose’ motions. She seems quite good in herself and most recent blood test suggests kidney situation has stabilised. This all might be due to age or Tick fever earlier this year.
This is the first we’ve celebrated since MAnjula escaped.
We had a little rain over night and I love the new version of the Rangoli
Sowbhagya wanted to wash it away but I said leave it, I like the traditional and the modern. communities celebrate Diwali on different days Saturday was for Jains and those from Tamil Nadu, today, Monday is for locals from Karnataka.
Sowbhagya came in one of Manjula’s old dresses. Not the best idea. Lucie followed her into the kitchen thinking it was Manjula, SB hugged Lucie and burst into tears.
I walked Lucie for my own tearful.
Unforeseen and coincidentally photo of MAnjula in the dress recently popped up on Facebook.
Lucie clearly affected. Still missing her in so many ways.
It’s the one day of the year when we wash our cars, cycles, motorbikes and tools, to then ask the Gods to bless them. Originally a Pooja for our weapons!
Lucie checks they’re doing it properly at the local hotel.
It’s the penultimate day of our big annual festival (Dasra or Dusshera). Commemorating the goddess Chamundeshwari (lives on the hill behind our house), killing the demon, after which Mysore is named.
Sowbhagyhya has already instructed me to wash my Enfield, Ambassador and Specialized. She’s now done the full on Pooja.
Lucie, probably because there’s a sliver of MAnjula in her, has to check things over, again. The family downstairs doing Puja for their transport. Meanwhile Lucie and the puppy try to co-exist, moderately successfully. It’s over a year since MAnjula escaped to a new life so we can do Pooja’s.
Sowbhagya arrived with Dosa for her breakfast. The dining table was converted to one of my four workstations but she managed to find space. She was trapped but I blame her. She did show interest. So I launched into the synopsis of Manjula and my story, written for Anita.
SB was immediately engaged and liked it. We both enthusiastically remembered Manjula: her character, her kindness, her fun. SB could see connections with her and other women’s experiences but also how she was especially adventurous, strong and independent in the face of so many challenges.
I’m encouraged.
Last Saturday was the first session of Anita’s Attic. A programme for writers — yes, that’s me, officially a writer, of sorts — over the next twelve weeks.
There’s ten of us in the online group: taught, facilitated and mentored by Anita Nair.
Anita is a famous writer of English novels, here in India. My own favourite is Ladies Coupe and I hope that our story will feature similar expansive characters to help us discover more of India and wonderful people I’ve been fortunate to meet.
A wonderful message from Manjula on what would have been her 47th birthday. Created by Faizan from the many videos she made for Stephen and our worldwide family.
The two lovely videos below are made by Tom and Amy who became so significant in our lives, we ‘adopted’ them.
Me and MYCycle 