Tag: joy

Kaveri and me

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We’re at one of our fave eateries this evening — Depth and Green— for a great mix of food, drink and experience.

We both had a lovely green smoothie — delicious, with humous and toast for her and sandwich with egg and cheese and veg for me.

A young woman (I wasn’t organised enough to take photos) walked over to introduce herself.

She’d been watching us and was so impressed with how we related , wanting to know something about us and our magic.

We recalled our first meeting in the park opposite my house in Siddartha layout. Kaveri had been visiting her grandmother who was night-watch woman at a construction site next to the park.

That was five years ago. Wow. It’s hard to believe.

It’s disputed but I recall her saying helloooooo as I crossed the park. She reckons I said hello first. Whatever.

…

I explained, to the young woman, that my wife MAnjula had died seven years ago. She wanted me to help others from a similar background to her. So I appealed for any suggestions for young people I could support. None came forward, until the fateful day I met Kaveri.

She was impressed how we’d created such a positive bond.

We acknowledged how people might misunderstand our situation (old man and young girl hanging out together) but it made her happy to meet us and realised what a positive caring relationship we had.

My role (and that of the other director) in supporting Kaveri is on behalf of our business ‘Manjula’s Mysore’ which has an agreement with her mother and active involvement of her grandmother and auntie.

Footnote

When people get to know my background :

Qualified social worker from over forty years ago.

Manager of social (welfare) services in U.K. including teams of social workers, assessors and carers

Experience working with children and families, intervening to support and protect children, in some senses a ‘policing’ role on behalf of the state.

Risk assessment of families, ensuring they’re supported when experiencing difficulties and intervening to ensure the children are safe

Assessing prospective adoptive parents

Delivering workshops and providing consultancy on values and ethics, guiding businesses to socially responsible (CSR)

Working with Hindu, African-Caribbean, Bangladeshi, Sikh, white working class and disabled people’s communities

Plus I’m supported by a network of childcare professionals and we’re operating on behalf of our company subject to the agreement it has with Kaveri’s mother.

… they realise this is a professional set up with Kaveri’s development and safety as our utmost priority.

So there’s much more to our Manjula’s Mysore’s involvement over the past five years.

In India, nothing is quite as it seems.

Our successful support of Kaveri involves money, skills and help-in-kind from our business and contributions from past guests from around the world. .

Manjula’s Mysore’s Corporate (CSR) Responsibility has now included: creativity days in schools and for forty visually disabled young women, gifting bicycles, teaching/presentations, memorial garden, cycle tours,, accommodation, ‘reflective space’ for young adults, our care for our community.

Pitru Paksha

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Shared love and shining memories of Manjula, Lucie and Ina, whose love remains with us.

Thank you to Sowbhagya and Satish, for remembering and honouring our precious family.

While I’m not at home.

Footnote from the Internet.

Pitru Paksha is a 15-to-16-day Hindu observance dedicated to honouring departed ancestors through sacred rituals, prayers, and food offerings.

A garden takes work

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Sowbhagya and Mahesh cleared up the garden, roofs and drain.

Our garden provides enjoyment.

I’m sitting out in it now awaiting someone from the MCC to take away the waste.

…

It’s not only for sitting out.

It’s also provided hundreds of Mangoes for friends, family and neighbours (plus squirrels, birds including parakeets, and fruit bats) to share.

There’s still the later fruit smashing into the ground around me now. — They were too high to reach and crop.

We already know the MCC horticultural department and the commissioner from our partnership to creating Manjula’s memorial garden (see below).

We hope they can pick it up. We don’t want to see more waste dumped by the roadside.

Sharing

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I wasn’t feeling well this week and so Kaveri wrote me a note

How kind and thoughtful is that?

… and then I stumbled across this study which reaffirmed what we know —- how relationships are critical to a happy sustainable, satisfying life.

What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness (Robert Waldinger | TEDxBeaconStreet)

Here’s my girls …

My Indian wife and daughter.

Farrell Factoid Footnote

Kaveri isn’t actually my daughter but it’s as if I’ve ‘adopted’ her and support her on behalf of my beautiful caring compassionate wife

Challenge and change

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Or stay the same

The choice is ours, whether it’s on an individual, organisational or societal level.

Some changes come easier then others but let’s stick with the question of — should we challenge and change?

In my view there’s an unequivocal yes.

As an individual and the networks, groups or communities we form, of course we change.

What’s learning if it’s not adopting and adapting to changing situations, and developing new ways of doing things (and thinking!).

Some people and organisations will challenge change and prefer to stick with the status quo.

When that happens, look a little deeper.

What’s their motivation not to want to change? Fear? Retaining or enhancing power?

One of the most important aspects of change is personal development, it helps create who we are.

But it’s also nonsensical to suggest there shouldn’t be change in our wider groups and society

It’s critical that we innovate and adapt, developing the requisite abilities. That might be number one priority.

Well not quite.

Our actual biggest challenge is friction, and by this I mean between people, their organisations, communities, and nations.

We need to develop effective sustainable relationships and to achieve that we need to learn to be kind.

That requires us to see things from the others’ point of view, to communicate, to connect, to be flexible and adapt.

Yes… change, constantly.

Maybe we can actually reduce violent conflict …. Now that would be cool.

So we can choose to change and not be stuck …

… in what previous generations have handed down to us

NOR

…. in our personal experiences and traumas

We can shift.

Simple eh?

Admittedly. It’s not straightforward … No it’s our life long challenge, to choose who we want to be and hopefully find happiness and contentment.

But if we’re not conscious and try we might just lose this lifelong opportunity.

There’s books I’d recommend, in Manjula’s library that help cover this.

So when we next hear someone rejecting change, said in so many ways: ‘that’s not our tradition’, ‘that’s how we do it here’, ‘it’s our culture’ we can’t, etc etc then it’s for the WPB

Ok, that might be a bit harsh, at least dive into more reflection and re-evaluation.

– Are our ways of thinking and doing fit for purpose anymore?

– Is it appropriate in this day and age?

Now that’s maybe opened a reactionary can-of-worms.

The following books are in Manjula’s library.

You might also want to check Vedanta! Perhaps recommend a book for the library.

Manjula’s love

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Radiated through her smile and her actions.

As I’ve paddled my boat through the grief gravy the layers of Manjula’s love become more apparent. I learn more everyday from her life.

“But when you want to gain love through success, it cannot be achieved through anything quantifiable. The people that will be crying when you depart the world are not doing so because of any number that is tied to your name. They are doing so because you were a loving partner, a caring friend, or a shepherd of kindness. You are dearly missed not because of what you’ve earned, but because of what you represented.”

Find the article here

You know who you are.

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Friends, Romans, Countrymen .

Welcome

No it’s not another posting about Shakespeare or Caesar —- it’s about a different inspiration —-

Manjula

As we approach the anniversary of Manjula’s partial departure five years ago (she is of course very much with us) I want to remember her beautiful wonderfulness and recall the good we’ve done together, in her name.

And so it’s also about you: ‘Manjula’s Kind’ friends who have given cash or help-in-kind or moral support to help me through the grief gravy and to take action.

Amongst these are (please follow the links for more information):

– granite benches and garden in our nearby park in Siddarthanagar in partnership with the MCC

-creativity days for 40 visually impaired young women, 

– five events/workshops at Kaliyuvamane, (a ‘free/alternative school) for 100 children, there’s many mentions on our sites, here’s two … 1 and 2

One of our creativity days, this one facilitated by Antoinette.

– sponsoring a young girl who now attends Kaliyuvamane. The famous Kaveri who’s peppered throughout our sites and dominates my life.

– donating cycles

And many more actions 

Thank you so much

Stephen

With Manjula