Whispering Loudly

July 12, 2018July 12, 2018 SF3 Comments

I’m a firm believer in listening to the whispers.

It’s not complex.

There’s often a pattern to the things that happen, that we hear or notice, or somehow seem apparent.

They are often messages we can choose to hear or ignore.

Today I’m fondly remembering a friend, my first proper girl friend. I set up home with Tricia at 18 before I even left school. We had a bedsit. It was the downstairs living room of a terraced two-up, two down. The kitchen was shared with the couple upstairs, toilet outside in the yard and ‘slipper’ * baths at the swimming pool down the road.

Well I learned today that Tricia had died earlier this year.

I’d bumped into Tricia again in TK Maxx in Sheffield a few years ago. I’d met her daughters, exchanged stories and introduced her to Manjula over the past two years. I was so pleased we’d reconnected.

I’m sad and sorry to hear she’s gone but grateful for our wonderful times together and that we’d found each other again.

I’m sending positive warmness to her husband and daughters.

The loud whispers ? : people’s deaths, great conversations with the 97 year old and Manjula’s near death experience this year .

The message? : cherish what you have, make the most of it, keep connected to the precious people in your life, be good.

From the Peace Gardens, one of our places in Sheffield

Farrell factoid

* a Victorian swimming pool often had slipper baths alongside. Small bathrooms where you could go for your full wash. Instead of the tin bath in the living room on the fire hearth

Douglas and I

July 12, 2018July 12, 2018 SFLeave a comment

Donkey loses legs!

Road Trip …. with a great geezer.

Attention!

Douglas and I spent the day together travelling from York to the Deep South!

It helps me realise how important it is to keep connected and spend time with those we might not ordinarily come into contact with….

… age difference 36 years!!

It was a great, fun journey and took maybe six hours (this disUnitedKingdom is a VERY BIG country, or so the Brexiteeeers think) taking in an extended lunch (talking) and unplanned detour (my battery ran out and talking).

Talk time was on a ratio of 9-1 Douglas to me). You may find that hard to believe but absolutely true.

Douglas is the father of Liz and grandpa of my sons Ben and Ol.

I’m clearly a donkey and my hind legs have now fallen off.

What a character! Aged 97 he retired from the army decades ago!

His final rank being lieutenant colonel (pronounced leftenant, in some inane British attempt to prove we’re not French. It’s a French word!) his experience is vast especially in logistics and management, nuclear armament transport (his daughter and I and Ben, years later would be demonstrating against those very things), the first Army helicopter outfit, suez crisis, parachutist, internal army machinations (like all organisations), and he’s an intelligent, thoughtful, aware guy and not the rabid Tory you might expect.

So thanks Douglas. Top man, great time and conversations.

It helps remind me that we just need to give people time and recognise that wealth is in sharing our knowledge, experience and opinions.

At ease

Banana Republic 3

June 25, 2018June 25, 2018 SFLeave a comment

Phew

The attempt to allow a party (BJP) to establish a Government (in Karnataka) without an overall majority denying the opportunity to a coalition of other parties (Congress and JDS) fails

The BJP ‘Chief Minister’ (Yeddyurappa) resigns.

“Much of the credit for this Congress-JD(S) victory goes to the Supreme Court, which overturned Vala’s [the state a Governor, with a role like the British Queen] decision to allow the Yeddyurappa government 15 days time to prove its majority. The governor’s decision was surprising, as Yeddyurappa himself had reportedly asked for only one week.

In a rare display of promptness, the Congress-JD(S) combine left no stone unturned, moving the Supreme Court twice – first by challenging the governor’s decision to call Yeddyurappa to form the government and then again to get the nomination of the controversial pro tem speaker, K.G. Bopaiah, reversed. They also moved their MLAs around frequently and built public opinion against the alleged bribery attempts !by the BJP.”

Full article here

Real Message From Karnataka Floor Test is That Modi, Shah Are Not Invincible

Check the article here

So what can we take away from all this?

It’s not a Banana Republic?

The opposition seems to have got its act together to collaborate and to challenge the the BJP machine. Let’s hope it can continue that same energy and effectiveness in Government. It shows how best to beat BJP in next year’s national elections so it has national significance.

The robust institutions, in this case the Supreme Court as a brake on the BJP juggernaut.

That was all a couple of weeks ago. The ‘dynamic duo’ of Congress and JDS in coalition are now creating a Government.

The ministers are appointed and we wait with baited breath for some coherent Governance aka serving the people 😉 just look at the list above. The caste of each minister is listed and therefore just shows what the issues are. Many people vote according to community aka caste. Now there are arguments from individual ministers and communities that their ministerial responsibilities are not good enough! Good enough for what? Serving the community? Making a difference? Leaving a lasting legacy? Probably not …. if the comments of friends and neighbours are anything to go by it’s whether it creates enough of an opportunity to make money.

The lessons for elsewhere.

Let’s not be smug. This sort of shenanigans is found the world over, admittedly with cultural variations.

The Donaldness in the US is also testing the rules to the absolute limit, some would say clearly stepping over, bashing through or stomping on them, nepotism is just one of many examples. It might indicate that the rules and the institutions that ensure action and accountability aren’t quite working to ensure a ‘fair’ and robust system.

On the other side of the ‘big pond.’

In the chaos that once had an Empire, yes the disunited kingdom (UK) did once have an Empire. I’m not supporting colonialism just pointing out that there may have been at least one point in the past when they could actually manage something. Now they clearly can’t organise a party in a Brexit micro brewery.

Wherever in the world we’ve lost sight of the real focus. All this should not be about party, power at whatever cost or manic pursuit of dogma or money. Surely is should be about doing the best for all its people.

I can feel the innocence and naivety oozing from my every pore. 😉

Water

June 9, 2018 SF2 Comments

We all need water, obviously.

Lucie has a regular stop in a ‘paddling pool’ at a neighbours house. Jains in particular will leave out water and food for cows, birds and dogs.

One of our big problems locally is there just isn’t enough water for drinking or agriculture, let alone industry. So you’d think we’d be a tad more careful with it? Nah….. The re is a massive dispute with the neighbouring state. The Kaveri river passes through Karnataka (our state) before reaching Tamil Nadu, there’s insufficient water so do we find a way to share the problem? Nah, we’re first in the queue so we take what we want. This is a worldwide problem, look anywhere: California, Australia, wherever, same problem.

What is is about us? We know the problems, we know we need to act but do we, not in any significant or meaningful way. As highlighted in this insightful book our empires collapse for many different reasons but almost always because we do t recognise what’s at the end of our collective noses and do something about it.

Water is of course a massive problem around the world.

Same here in Mysore.

Close to where we live new borewells are being drilled because that house needs it, of course. Let’s look after our own.

So who cares?

Banana Republic 2

May 19, 2018May 20, 2018 SFLeave a comment

It gets worse.

So to remind you. The BJP who got the largest number of seats has been given by the Governor (BJP) fifteen days (now shortened after the intervention of the Supreme Court) until today? To demonstrate on the floor of the house that they have an overall majority, (which they didn’t get at the election so they will have to poach Members of the Legislative Assembly (MLA) to increase their numbers).

Are you still awake?

Now the president (BJP) , remember he’s supposed to be independent and above politics has appointed a temporary speaker (chair of proceedings) also, you’ve guessed it, from the BJP. This is completely against protocol as it’s usually the senior most MLA that gets the role but he’s Congress so that won’t do, will it? The newish speaker has been in the job before who was censured by the Supreme Court for his….. partiality in a previous situation, involving the same main character Yeddyurappa and corruption.

You seriously couldn’t make this up,

More here

In despair, I’m turning away from this soap opera of unbelievableness to some light entertainment.

Despicable

April 12, 2018 SFLeave a comment

Who makes monsters?

We do, partly, through acceptance, encouragement and reinforcement

It’s also actually how we make nice people.

It’s the process of

Clarifying and confirming what is and isn’t acceptable that helps creates and forms patterns of behaviour that is our culture(S). Evidence of this might be reflected in the whole organisation or society, community or just one of its sub sets.

So what’s brought this on?

Men in India who rape and/or murder because they can.

It’s an expression of power over others, reflects a degraded system, where there are few societal or personal restraints with limited accountability and recourse.

I wouldn’t want to colour a whole nation and it’s culture from individual incidents. After all I love this place and it’s people because it’s so open, friendly, easy-going, accepting contradiction, paradox and incredible diversity BUT there are limits.

This must however be seen, and highlighted as completely unacceptable. If we don’t, we’re also monsters.

We should hang our heads in shame.

Those in power whether politicians, police, whoever they, have a heavy responsibility to ensure their words, actions, inactions do not encourage or condone or create the monsters in our midst. Unfortunately the increase in these actions is also a consequence of political movements.

Here’s a link to the story

Maid in India 2

September 25, 2017 SFLeave a comment

It’s almost eight years ago that I moved to India and mentioned to my grown-up sons that I was looking for a maid. They were horrified.

We’re from the UK, are quite liberal and left wing. I’m actually from a relatively poor working class background. The idea of having a servant was also way beyond the usual more acceptable (in the UK anyway) middle class practice of a cleaner.

It introduces a class dimension. It’s seen as a bit 19th century, old-fashioned, elitist and servants are employed by people who are not like us! Who see themselves a cut above the rest, or the hoi polloi , a case of upstairs/downstairs. In our world view, its all completely unacceptable.

as you can see its a big house and I need help! Fact is, I only had the first floor eight years ago

I explained as best I could. It was important to provide employment particularly as there was no real welfare safety net in India. I was fitting in with the way things are, and my approach would be different (yep, it would be!) I would be a sensitive and caring employer.

So I asked my friends Ganga and Cariappa if they could recommend someone. The maid network came up with someone pretty quickly.

I was called round to meet someone.

So what’s the bigger picture? once again Tripti Lahiri helps out:

“Britain saw the number of servants drop from 250,000 in 1951 to 32,000 two decades later.”

India followed a similar trajectory until that is, the 1970’s when there began a dramatic increase in the numbers of servants (we’ll come back to terminology later) employed and this is a situation reflected globally.

“According to international labour groups, as of 2010. there were more than 50 million such workers globally, an increase of nearly 20 million from 1995, most of this made up of women. There are now over 40 million female domestic workers globally.”

So OK that’s enough with all the big numbers, what does this mean in practice for the women involved? who are they? where are they from and what lives do they lead?

Maid in India 1

September 24, 2017 SFLeave a comment

Quotes taken from ‘Maid in India’ by Tripti Lahiri :

11023900603_31641bd177_o — an image from a postcard that we publish

“We eat first, they later, often out of food portioned out for them; we live in the front, they in the back; we sit on chairs and they on the floor; we drink from glasses and ceramic plates and they from ones made of steel set aside for them; we call them by their names, and they address us by titles: sir/ma’am, sahib/memsahib”

Think that’s in the past?

Well, think again.

“In today’s India its not unusual to see, often in largely empty restaurants, a couple seated with their child at a table for four, while the help is despatched to sit not one but two tables away….. or a nanny dandling a child on her lap at a nightclub while her employers and their friends drink cocktails as it creeps towards midnight, her hours of sleep dwindling since she is no doubt expected to be up and ready for another day at sunrise…. or for example children playing in a neighbourhood park, seeing a plump, light-skinned boy on a swing crook his finger at the petite darker woman standing nearby and utter a single word: Push”

Womens’ life experience is an incredible indicator of how a particular society works, from top to bottom.

In India the situation of women and particualrly those who are most socially and economically excluded, in this case, the ones that serve others, shines a spotlight on the social mores, the rules by which we operate, the structures and belief systems that helps maintain the status quo.

It also shows something else.

That is, how these women in often extraordinarily challenging circumstances not only manage but can thrive, can flourish and through that, show their astonishing abilities. In a sense, the influence they subtly exert and how they deal with the changes facing them can also demonstrate to us, on a macro level, how to deal with some of the challenges and opportunities facing contemporary India.

Let’s take a look.

The disconnected

September 18, 2017 SFLeave a comment

He’s talking about coal but makes fascinating points about contemporary society, political challenges we face, how we’ve created this mess and the actions we need to take

We are, today, at the end point of a millennia-long process of disconnection. Since we first built cities and started leaving the land we have been disconnecting from nature; losing sight of it, quite literally; losing our vocabulary of it, to the extent that blackberry is no longer a fruit to be plucked and eaten but a device to tie us to our desks when we’re on the toilet.

Nature was just the beginning. While this slow severing has been going on for thousands of years, the last few centuries – the reformation, the enlightenment, the industrial revolution, and capitalism – performed the amputation.

In capitalism, we have created the first social organising principle based on selfishness, the first system to make greed, competition, non-cooperation its credo. In Thatcherism, we have the declaration that there is no such thing as society. In neoliberalism, we have a system which alienates us from each other, from our labour, from democracy; a system which declares we have great choice while turning everything into a supermarket aisle full of different but identical toothpastes; a system which insists we have great freedoms while systematically removing more and more of our capacity to have any real control or influence over, or stake in anything real in our lives.

That’s why we can have politicians actively discussing doing something which not only makes no economic sense but will actually kill people, while most of the population turns away to binge-watch the next series on Netflix.

There is only one way through this – we have to reconnect. And it’s already happening. Around Australia and the world, people are seeking out reconnection in all sorts of ways. We are starting community groups, getting involved in community gardens and food co-ops, starting childcare and health co-ops, joining sharing groups instead of buying more stuff. Instead of always doing things on our own, as disconnected individuals, we are looking for innovative ways to work together, to eat together, to live together. And, excitingly, we’re banding together to create social and political forces to be reckoned with.

Check the full article here

Special

June 15, 2017June 15, 2017 SFLeave a comment

A very special friend, the lovely Leela, invited me out for a drink, to celebrate my ‘significant’ birthday. (Yes, I’ve been celebrating it for quite some time now!) this was during my April trip back to Blighty.

Well Leela. Is something of an innovator and is really great at helping others as a facilitator and coach. She’s especially good at using her artistic skills to help people create a shared understanding and most importantly act on it.