Why write to Manjula?

Thank you for your kind responses via messages, phone calls, Facebook and here on this site, to my two letters. It’s been important for me to share and feel your support.

In passing through the grief portal of pain to love, to understand and know Manjula better. I’ve found a few useful books.

The letter to Manjula was me talking to her to recognise my loss, and share with her, my remorse which I wasn’t able to before she died. It’s part of a process outlined in the grief handbook the book on top of the pile.

Is the latest I read, especially useful as there was a distinct loss of meaning and still is to an extent.

I’ve maybe written the letter a dozen times but it’s only now I’ve felt able to share it with her. In therapeutic groups or pairs they’ll often read their letter out to each other.

It’s quite interesting to shift from focussing on her body/ego to her soul spirit wherever that might now be.

It’s been quite a journey from the devastation I felt through to recognising my absolute love and devotion to Manjula. There’s now more sweet and less bitter and my first thought is now more likely to bring a smile, than a tear.

I now know her better, partly as I’m researching and writing our story.

Meanwhile Mysore comes back to life. There’s been an unlocking. Here’s a few shots from our morning walk

Taking home a palm branch for his fire.
Any opportunity to sell and survive
Lucie in our park after today’s walk. Determined to keep away from me and entice ticks.
Ha ha this one isn’t from our walk 🙂 it’s one of Manjula’s favourite flowers and now a tattoo.

months pass

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Manjula peeking, its been seven months now.

Why are my videos upside down? Is somebody trying to tell me something?

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at least the photos are the right way up

Man’s best friend.

It’s been an exceptionally challenging time and continues to be. But it’s important, for me, not to forget how difficult it is for Lucie. It’s been turmoil. She’s lost one of her closest friends, who like a mother would care for and support her. One of the distinctive smells and presence, in so many ways, is no longer with us. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like for her. Lots of action then her world is turned upside down and then having to rely on that unpredictable man.

“Where’s my routines and familiar friends. she cries!”

She was and continues to be sad. We’re adjusting in what turns out to be a long long road.

There’s a posting here in recognition of our supportive friends.

Maybe we share a broken heart

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People want change

How can they find it?

 In America, four out of five people who voted for Donald Trump in 2016 saw an ability to bring about change as his most important quality. That tells us less about Trump than it does about the way that real agents of change, social movements that can truly transform people’s lives, have crumbled.

People need change, although they might deny it, and need to feel they have both purpose and some control over their lives.

Image is from my 50th birthday invite and how life changed a few years afterwards.

So what’s life without it purpose or meaning?

Humans, Frankl suggests, find themselves only through creating meaning in the world. Meaning is not something to be discovered – it is something that humans create. They do so by acting upon the world. “Man does not simply exist,” Frankl wrote, “but always decides what his existence will be”

Check the article here for more info.

I created my change and a new meaning through my muse, my catalyst, my Manjula.

I write this on a reflective journey, realising we can’t control, seeking to add to that meaning and find fulfilment whilst holding my dear to me.