Missing Manjula. Second Christmas and birthday without her
Next, a dragonfly flew into the hall, circled me and landed on Manjula’s penant that we bought on holiday in the U.K. Immediately afterwards, a sepia coloured butterfly as a few days earlier also kept circling me. Some believe that Dragonflies and Butterflies are messengers of love from your dearly departed.
At today’s writers group a presentation from editor Karthika helped clarify what is possible.
I’ve committed to Manjula to write our story with a working title of Full Full. I’ve completed the first draft of many and feels like I’m building the Taj Mahal out of matchsticks. This will take sometime.
Target date March 2022 to complete story
Launch book by August 2022 on what would have been Manjula’s 49th Birthday
Identify Editor, First Readers, Community Publisher advisor,
Create 2000 person mailing list and feature blog posts to help create interest.
Self publish POD and E book with 1000 sale target
Available in Hebden Bridge U.K. and silverfish (mysore) local bookshops.
Next: consider… additional chapters, Children’s book, Online interactive version
Non work station notebooks and printed draft. I have a fountain pen and blank paper. I must be a writer.
for working together to create this beautiful image.
‘Beloved’ A portrait of Manjula
Stephen’s love for Manjula . Weaves a bridge, between our worlds. A bridge made of heart strings, a bridge of exploration to the multi dimensional. Manjula’s love for Stephen. Pierces through the veil, as a warm ray on a chilly day.
by Aadirika Kawa
I love my new Manjula. It’s been well worth the wait I understand how much skill and creativity it has taken. I realise there’s so many dimensions to this living and breathing painting, I can see different aspects depending upon where I stand, the lighting and how its photographed. This has taken so much love and dedication to create.
Manjula would laugh and tease me, claiming we already had too many paintings. I can’t get enough of her.
Thank you for my wonderful Christmas present and presence.
You may recall an earlier posting here about my very own star. MAnjula was without doubt a shooting star who exploded, touched all of our lives with an intensity that left slivers of influence for all of us with lasting effect and with one assertive example.
It’s the early hours of the morning I’m often woken by a thud at my bedroom door. It may four or five heaves before she breaks through to sleep by my side on the Tibetan rug.
In the morning as I prepare breakfast she stand motionless staring through the kitchen door, waiting.
Later in the day I’m sitting in the balcony chair or lying on the Divan, reading a book and as soon as my eyes begin to droop: she talks loudly, a friendly attention seeking growl. This is since Manjula slipped through my clumsy fingers. It feels as if one of those slivers of the shooting star, the thoughtful caring spirit is now resting within Lucie. There is no doubt Lucie has taken a more assertive role and Manjula’s presence is felt , I have a new boss.
MAnjula is with me in so many ways and nothing dampens her spirit, then or now.
I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t been avoiding it.
I’ve travelled through the most difficult period in my life. I’ve faced it, even embraced it, it’s still with me and always will, grief has become my unwelcome friend.
As I follow Manjula’s teeny tiny steps, remember our happy and yet challenging life together, as peeping through the cloudy sadness I learn more and love more about her, realise how lucky I was and continue to celebrate my beautiful, wonderful, kind wife.
I’m sharing always, and I continue to write our story but it will be some time yet before it’s finished. At times, it feels like I’m showing my devotion by building the Taj Mahal in matchsticks. So hang on a little longer. 🙃
In the meantime, there’s early postings about our life together, here on our site for you.
I blame myself. Nurse Farrell is trying to rehydrate Lucie. It’s a drip set up for water under her skin that will then spread into her body.
So it’s relatively straightforward and not intravenous. It’s twice a day and there’s lots of water.
Between us though we manage to add complexity.
Last night, after a major spillage of half the water it was relatively easy-going.
Next day, not so good.
First thing today Lucie decides to do a big shake as if she’d just stepped out of a river, presumably because the bad bad nurse dropped a smidgeon of water on her fur. So needle came out and I had to replace it and jab her again.
Next she was standing rigid, clearly uncomfortable, I got her to sit down. The early puppy training of SIT! being useless so it entailed manhandling. Eventually I get her to lie down without knocking the needle out but on my feet.
I’m now stuck here watching the interminable drops expecting it to last an age.
I have time to catch up with my writing. 🙂✍🏽🚴🏽🗄🧷🖌☮️🚭🔔 and realise there’s soooo many emojis.
But I’ve still not had my breakfast!
Do we really need to do this twice everyday? It’s taking hours. I’ll plan better with my paraphernalia around me…..
This was how the professional did it yesterday. Doc Bhagya.
So who’s the drip?
Update
The merciless drip drip dripping took three hours and we’ve now created a camel, perhaps more accurately a dromedary.
Evening drippping completed in 40 mins morning torture must have been something else problem. Only issue this eve was jittery ness from fireworks.
Farrell Factoid: Lucy has had both liver and kidney issues this year, primarily shown through, vomiting and ‘loose’ motions. She seems quite good in herself and most recent blood test suggests kidney situation has stabilised. This all might be due to age or Tick fever earlier this year.
Me and MYCycle 