Poor Sowbaghya has to listen when Lucie has shown me the paw and Billet-Doux treats the place like a hotel.
Are they giving me a not-so-hidden message?
OK, I’ve bored her, explaining how (she knows) I read a lot, so have a broad knowledge (superficial) of many things.
That includes what to do about my current situation.
The problem is : we know stuff but do we act on it? We may have received the information but it’s not sunk in or led to the necessary change.
It’s as if I’m in an automatic Photo Booth that’s lead lined or surrounded by an (iron) curtain that stops the information getting through. I get it but not enough as it does not lead to action.
For example Kanchana gave me the ‘secret’ book and Tom has provided all sorts of positive insights—many others have helped— but it’s not led to the realisation of awareness and ‘action.’
You know the sort of stuff.
Well it began to fall into place this week. The timings right on the fourth anniversary of losing MAnjula
For more than four years there’s been a volcanic reaction, starting with the denial, then the acute shock of loss followed by the slow constant grinding down of grief.
Leading to anger and intolerance, to myself and others. it’s all so wrong… that negativeness is not what MAnjula (aka Full Full) and I are about.
It’s had its ups as well as downs and I’m generally quite robust (or so I thought) but the biggest challenge is the blame, the guilt, the what-ifs, wrapped up in depression. I have the overall feeling that I’ve let Manjula down and now I can’t do anything about it as she’s not physically with me anymore.
But I can …
learn to forgive myself, let the past be there, continue to celebrate MAnjula and as Louise says
“Life is really very simple. What we give out, we get back”
I really believe that but now need to act on it.
I remind Kaveri to ‘be kind’ and I need to listen and act on it myself and with myself
Did someone speak?
Hay’s book appeared in Manjula’s library, on the 23rd March, a gift from Rakesh
Speak to the paw.
Farrell Factoid
Goes without saying, listening is an integral part of this process. This popped up today.
A critical (focussed on wish fulfilment) part of our growing team set out on a search today
Satish was captain, Sowbaghya was translator-leader-investigator, Stephen was only half there.
Behind the scenes were Sarvesh (the facilitator) and Radhika (auntie) offering support.
The subject was an increasingly well known girl.
I returned to Mysore almost three weeks ago and last week went to visit kaveri.
I was a bit confused finding their house but eventually got there with the kind help of a shopkeeper.
Only to find they’d moved. What?!
They’re estranged from grandmother, grandfather, auntie and uncle who live in a room opposite our house who had no idea where they’d gone. The area yes, but the specific house, no way Jose. To top it all chandrika’s phone wasn’t working, so they weren’t contactable.
The last I saw Kaveri with her Mum Chandrika, in June, before leaving for my travels
So what to do?
Rhadika knew she was at school through a friend who’s sister attended the same school. She couldn’t help on action day as she was ill.
So SB volunteered for mission impossible.
To Infiltrate the school.
The aforementioned team set off across the city after sorting out the confusion of where and what time to go to find Kaveri as she finished her school day.
The white old man waited discreetly in Satish’s auto rickshaw. It’s not done for old men to be hanging around school gates, even in India.
Got her
She arrived at the auto, with a steady stream of her friends passing by with her declaring ‘foreign uncle,’ as if this was the necessary proof as previously they hadn’t believed her.
Any low profile was lost.
But what a result. We’d found her, went to their new home, met up with mum and dad got agreement for her to spend the weekend over with us and the about to arrive Ina.
She’ll also stay with grandma on the Saturday
So my reward is seeing my adopted granddaughter and we’re tentatively building bridges between family break up.
I share this gift from Manjula — as a follow up to Why? — as we approach what would have been her 49th birthday. On her birthday itself we hope to make a few other friends. Please check back to find out what happens.
In the meantime, if you’re interested, there’s more of our story here.
Kaveri (also anglicised as Cauvery) is named after the holy river, one of the seven holiest in India, a Hindu goddess, who is known for her strength of character and giving nature. As usual the stories vary.
Kaveri and I eventually get a day together but she isn’t dressed for cyclingSo I find one of our famous T shirts for her and buy shorts on the island.learning about dronesKaveri enjoying her namesakepaddling onlyA full immersion will wait until I have mum’s approval
The Kaveri river rises in the western ghats in Kodak (Coorg) passing through Karnataka and Tamil Nadu before reaching the Bay of Bengal.
It’s our usual mix of adventures and eatingwe visited the field where Manjula and I were married, Kaveri insisted we search for the Peacocks we could hear.
On its journey east it splits to form three islands, one of which is Srirangapatna, featured on our main mycycle tour.
The river helps feed the irrigation systems especially around Srirangaptnam and is source of conflict between the two states.
Some idiot can’t be trusted with a smart phone.Resting after a hard day, she is over 60Satish Uncle drives Kaveri (back in her Sunday Best) to Hinkal, in his autorickshaw, as Manjula’s Ambassador has now gone home for a rest.
Manjula wished to be reincarnated as a tree as it protected and supported people. I was keen to develop projects that reflected Manjula’s open heart, and kindness. Manjula’s Mysore, our new company, aims to reflect that approach and so Manjula continues to give
The reason why Kaveri has featured so much in the postings is that Manjula’s Mysore (MM) is considering her for an educational scholarship.
We wish to identify a young girl with the potential and to provide opportunities that weren’t available to Manjula.
Meetings held by Kanchana and Sowbaghya with her family, the holiday in Kannur, given by Manjula’s Mysore, and the school holiday activities organised by Stephen has provided ample opportunity to get to know Kaveri.
There are many similarities between Kaveri and Manjula’s early childhood. I’ll not detail them out of respect for Kaveri and her family’s privacy.
We’ve now met all Kaveri’s family and the MM director’s with Stephen’s support consider her eligible for an education scholarship.
We’re now looking into what that will mean in practice with a view to finding an English medium school for Kaveri for the next academic year in 2023.
Footnote
Kanchana is a social worker here in Mysore, Stephen qualified as a social worker in the U.K. in the early 80s. He’s since worked managing grant and developing community projects and partnerships for trusts, government and multi-national corporations.
Stephen is Manjula’s husband.
The Directors of Manjula’s Mysore are Tanuja and Satish friends of Manjula who were instrumental in supporting and remembering her after she died.
Satish and Tanuja, long term friends and supporters of Manjula and our life here in Mysore, together with Tanuja’s husband and daughter.
Sowbhaghya and Sarvesh have helped as part of our wider team.
She lives in Hinkal on the other side of Mysore but I get to see her some weekends and during the school summer holiday, when she visits her grandmother, who lives opposite our house.
We’re in the midst of school holidays so she’s here everyday for a few weeks and I’ve introduced ta – ra ta -ra….
Steve’s Summer Camp for Kaveri
We’ve already had walking Lucie, cycling single and tandem, many trips to the cafe, the infamous holiday, games on and off screen, trips to various institutions namely the vets and dentist, outings in the Ambassador, storytelling, shopping for birthday present clothes more and more….
There’s a serious reason for all this related to MAnjula.