An annual treat which passes through our community.
First stages of moving house after Florian came round to help plan.
Kaveri combining the Indian love of noodles and everything K.
Maïlis and Sowbaghya followed up Maria’s Italian treat with more delicious pasta and fab salad.
Yesterday we visited Radhika and her new baby in hospital. I’m not allowed to post photos but mum and baby are doing great.
The house hosts her presence in every room (and outside).
Sowbaghya and I have kept the Bed and Breakfast as she envisioned it and even have a library named after her.
Our guests love meeting her. she even gets mentioned in our guest book
At least once a year I bring out this image in memory of my beautiful MAnjula. It’s just for a few days. I started by cycling her around Mysore, at other times she’ll be in the memorial garden we created for her in the park or resting in our drive. Otherwise she’s stored in the Garage.
Unfortunately, you can’t please all the people all time. Some people you never can.
My insensitive neighbour complained that the image of MAnjula was outside and should be indoors. It’s a Hindu rule. I know there’s no such rule or if there is it’s often not followed. People remember their loved ones with posters around the streets or images in the newspaper.
He represents the brahminical elitism that can sometimes rear its ugly head (read your ‘games people play’). He’s even complained about the boys and girls sitting on the park benches that I’ve installed. It’s as if the Firangi (foreigner) is responsible for people’s behaviour. His prejudices are mildly entertaining but we generally ignore him.
PS
As AI tells us on the internet
The saying “Guest is God” (Atithi Devo Bhava in Sanskrit) is a core principle in Indian culture, emphasizing the importance of hospitality and treating guests with respect. While the saying is rooted in tradition and spiritual significance, the reality is that it’s not always a practical or realistic expectation, especially in modern life.
You could say that ….
Marginalian
Comes up trumps again with great literary, political and philosophical connections.
I like her quote from Simone de Beauvoir
What then is love? Not much, not much; I come back to this idea. Sensitivity, imagination, fatigue, and this effort to depend on another; the taste for the mystery of the other and the need to admire… What is worthwhile, is friendship… this profound mutual confidence between [two people], and this joy of knowing that the other exists.
“The ancient Greeks, in their pioneering effort to order the chaos of the cosmos, neatly taxonomized them into filial love (the kind we feel for siblings, children, parents, and friends), eros (the love of lovers), and agape(the deepest, purest, most impersonal and spiritual love).”
I decided that we would continue Manjula’s sunshine goodness, sharing her love, through events and activities for young people.
The most obvious example is our continuing support for Kaveri.
I’m in tears as I prepare to walk to the photo shop. Sowbaghya and I have sorted through many photos
We want photos for outside the house and the planned puja — as many people are asking where’s Lucie?
As I set out I pass her leads and then notice her water needs filling.
My dear Lucie.
We met when someone had dumped you, your brother and sister at the end of our street.
We’ve had so much fun together. Almost from the very first moment I came to live in Mysore.
It didn’t take long for you to realise where the kindly Firangi, — who fixed your skin problems and regularly fed you — came from, so you all followed.
The man who lived downstairs was less keen on the black — India street dog and her siblings— setting up home under our tree. This was… Exactly where you came to rest on Saturday when you were feeling ill and went back to that same tree.
We’d chase and roll around in the park, with Vis another street dog becoming a friend.
In time I found homes for your brother and sister. You had the op at People for Animals, with a neat ‘bite’ taken out of your ear so you wouldn’t be re-captured and spayed again. (When I first visited India I wondered why many street dogs had a bite taken out of an ear. — it wasn’t another dog! ) 🤭
You became part of our wonderful family
Whenever neighbours saw me without you, they’d want know where you were. I even went to a hotel miles away on the other side of the city where a waiter asked where you were! He also lived in Siddarthanagar
It’s not surprising that you were so well known as we walked through the layout four times every day.
Now I have to go to the bakery, cafe and chai shop on my own.
When Manjula’s spirit moved on we had a lovely portrait painted of you both
I miss you both so much, hope you find each other, in your new lives. I’ll catch up with you eventually but in the meantime, I’ll now introduce you and share you both with even more people.
Friends from around the world are sending their love and sharing their memories.
Billet-Doux is still looking for you here and expects our walk last thing at night with the owl flitting above us
Missing you. Our life was ….
What a Wonderful family and friends we had. .
Until the next time
love
from us all and especially Sowbaghya, Billet-Doux, Kaveri, and Stephen.
The last few weeks have been quite difficult.
In Didion’s book ‘a year of magical thinking’ (well it lasts for longer than a year … like forever) she writes about the vortex, I call it being bushwhacked.
One is ….
Attacked for no apparent reason, as the sadness arises — mainly due to recollections that appear — as if from nowhere.
There’s also a regular hidden sadness that surfaces as intolerant anger.
Sorry everyone.
I’m dealing with CBB — can’t be bothered — but it’ll get sorted.
Here’s the letter I wrote to MAnjula after she slipped through my fingers.
I stumbled across it today. It was as I began my journey through the tunnel of love paddling the thick grief gravy and I remembered….
Manjula the ever-smiler, radiated love like the rays of a sun.
When I can —- I recall the wonderful light she brought into my life — puts the awful loss and memories of her slipping away, into the shade.
with our guests — again and again 🤔🤭 — helps me realise how fortunate I am.
“If God is everywhere, why do we need to go to a Temple”
She wished to be reincarnated as a tree as it protected and supported people.
That’s my sunshine.
After watching Ina’s family’s celebration of her life, (funeral).
I’m reminded to try and always leave meeting someone with warmth and care as it might be the last time we see them. I did with Ina but still need reminding to always be attentive, kind and share compassion.
There’s more about Ina here
Each year we will do Puja for MAnjula and Ina to help their spirits ‘on the way’ to their new lives.
A recent arrival at Manjula’s Library.
There’s a short chapter on ‘the language of love’ my reaction is not surprising, given the subject.
It happens ‘sometimes’. …
There’s a physical tightening of the stomach and a sort of shift in the eyes and forehead leading to the feeling of tears welling and a teeny moisturising of the eyes. I’m still making my way through the fantasy fairground tunnel of love slowly through the thick mud of grief gravy. Whilst I’ll never get to the end I need to ensure I break into the positive memory zones and rediscover tolerance.
On the way I’m reminded of previous moments of our wonderful life that I was lucky enough to share with my MAnjula.
Her love was constant (probably) and consistent built on her strengths of attentiveness and presence. I love her more as I’m share more of its layers passing through this crazy tunnel.
I realise that I’ve written this with John Lennon’s Woman playing in the background and it all started with you are my sunshine.
Lyrics below
Woman
I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all, I’m forever in your debt
And woman
I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success
…
Woman
I know you understand
The little child inside the man
Please remember, my life is in your hands
And woman
Hold me close to your heart
However distant, don’t keep us apart
After all, it is written in the stars
…
woman
Please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
——-
You are my sunshine
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine away
The other night, dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you
In my arms
When I awoke, dear
I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine away
Me and MYCycle 