She always has and always will. Whether it was her love shared through her wonderful cooking, her gifts, sometimes cash when people needed it and most of all her warm personality. It was in Manjula’s nature to love and connect with people here and around the world. Manjula would draw people to her. Her insights, generosity and extraordinarily sensitive to people’s plight was an integral part of her, maybe resulting from the hardships that she experienced throughout her life.
As a celebration of our engagement we gave gifts: she cancelled what was left of the outstanding loan to Vasanth for his auto rickshaw and gave cycles to the driver’s children and to a project that helped trafficked young people.
Her giving has continued through the funding of meals at a local ashram, the benches in our local park. What next?
We’re looking for ways to continue to reflect Manjula’s beautiful personality and her connecting to people. We’ll keep you informed through this site. Do feel free to make your own suggestions of help we can give in Manjula’s name.
Our latest guest Giacomo (aka Siva and his partner Anita) who has visited Manjula and I in Mysore many times have left a donation towards the next projects we support.
It’s 2 am in the morning and I’ve just given the dog, Lucy a final walk of the day. In the shadows I noticed a mother and daughter, covered with shawls, scarves and carrying bags.Waiting tentatively for me to pass. Once I and the dog had passed by they continued on their journey.
Who are they? what are they doing?
As they continue to walk through the area I can hear the wild street dogs kicking off. I guess that they are poor people just travelling through. It must be quite scary and daunting with barking dogs at most corners and now I’m back at home I hear the whistles in the distance of the policeman on their beat.
What must their life be like?
It makes me stop and reflect for a moment and think about those poor people and what I assume are very different and difficult lives.
I might live in India but as you might expect, in a middle class lifestyle and quite detached from the experience of many very poor people.
I recognise how important it is for me to not lose sight of the difficulties that people face and somehow to connect.
Yes, let’s give her a break….. A new visa application is IN.
She needs one, who wouldn’t, after being with Stephen for OVER six Years?! yes Six years!
We’ve been overcome with the support, since the news got out about the rejection, from our wonderful friends, many of whom are visitors to us here at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
Thank you, it means a lot to get that encouragement and emotional support. We’ve also had tons of invites for holidays elsewhere. Top of the list at the moment (from the no. of suggestions) are UK (ha ha thanks for that ), Australia, Canada, Europe (we’re voting to stay IN) and Israel.
So the thing is, the new application is submitted and we think we’re providing firm evidence on the main issue. She just wants a holiday and she really isn’t trying to slip into the country and stay there!!! She doesn’t want to move to the UK
Can you send an Email to Manjula?
Maybe emphasising something on the lines of:
how she really is Mysore Bed and Breakfast and is critical to its continuing success
how and what you enjoyed about your stay
that you’ll be back
and any other way you can demonstrate your support
Every little might help, who knows?
She has an established life here, a job, she’s critical to the BnB, we have invested in our life here with a dog, a redecorated five bedroom house, a bike, a car, a successful business, a lovely garden that’s taken an age to create, has dependents who rely on her, such as her mother and she doesn’t wish to move to the UK.
So why the photo of the Brahma Kamla flower?
These flowers are very auspices. Each flower only lasts one night. It is at it’s best at midnight and the aroma is beautifully overpowering. They are not at all easy to grow. They are therefore considered very lucky. On the past three nights we’ve had a total of fifteen, yes fifteen of these flowers. So we hope the Brahma is with-us on this next bit of the journey of: ‘The Passage from India!’
I still facilitate ‘training’ workshops for corporate clients. An absolutely critical part of the sessions is to help people see things from the others’ point of view. This is, of course, not just relevant to business.
Alexander McCall Smith puts it like this….
“People tried to understand, and many did, but not everybody could make the imaginative leap that landed one in a position of another person, in their shoes, in their very garments, looking out on the world with their eyes, feeling what went on inside their hearts; being made to cry by the things that made them want to cry. That was easy in theory, but hard in practice. They pretended to understand because they could not know – not really know – what it was like to be the other. That was because it was not them. That was why they could not think that. It had to be you.”
in his novel: Trains and Lovers.
If I understand some of his teachings correctly the Dalai Lama shows that this is what compassion is about. Seeing things from the others’ point of view.
I know its hard but in life, it’s important that we should try.
It was not an unusual type of telephone enquiry for a room at the BnB. An Indian woman travelling with her ten-year-old son required a room for the following day and for a total of four nights.
We did have a room so I offered to send details to her email address so she would know what to expect. It’s our usual practice. She explained that she would be unable to read the email  but she’d seen us on the net so knew what to expect. She followed up by sending a text with her name, she was a Doctor 
Next morning I received a phone call from her with some urgency and concern. Could I recommend the best hospital in Mysore? She’d had an accident in her car and her son was injured. They were in a country area, quite a way from Mysore. She’d dealt with his immediate needs and where they now were didn’t have the facilities to treat her son’s condition. It sounded more serious than I first thought. They would need to transfer to Mysore. I recommended the Columbia Asia Hospital.
Beyond that, it was unclear, it seemed like she was now separated from her car, it was I assumed, badly damaged.
Of course, I was shocked and concerned and willing to help wherever I could.
A little later she telephoned again. She had contacted the Mysore hospital and was making arrangements for the transfer. It was all a little hurried and she was understandably panicky and not always making a lot of sense.  Someone had kindly covered the bill but she needed some help, to pay him back. Her money, cards etc were left in the car or taken by someone. Her mother was to call me from North India to explain things.
Her Mum was understandably concerned and was planning to get down here from Assam. That would be no easy task. She’d been unable to pay the guy who had helped out by paying the bills, could I help?
There was a bank strike where she was and didn’t have all the details of his branch (the IFSC No) so it wasn’t possible to do a transfer via the internet. It could, however, be paid into a branch of his bank. Of course, I’d be willing to help, she’d transfer 1 lakh to my account and from it I’d pay 40,000 Rs  cash into this guy’s account and the rest would be available for her daughter to use for the hospital bills etc here in Mysore. All I had to do was send my bank details, for some reason she couldn’t retrieve them via my suggestion of an Email  so I’d send them via text/sms. Not a problem.
Her daughter calls to give me an update. She’s so apologetic for putting me through this and having to ask for my help. She’s contacted Doctor xx in Columbia Asia and they need to get her son there to see the neurologist. Getting the money quickly is critical, so they can get away.
This was clearly a middle-class professional family with exceptionally good English but one of the problems, beyond the obvious concern for her son, was not knowing the local language and being in a relatively rural area.
I receive a text from Mum, as sent from her bank , the cash had been transferred.
Mum calls again. The money has left her bank but it might take a couple of hours to reach my bank.
I reflect. It’s no problem for me to sort out, I’m always happy to help wherever I can, I have cash here or money in the Bank, I don’t have to wait for it to come through, I can zip over there on the scooter in no time at all.
This is all quite urgent.
Hang on a minute, though.
I have a niggling doubt.
Is this a con? I don’t want to think it is and I most definitely don’t want to let them down if it’s legitimate. They are in a potentially difficult and maybe life threatening situation.
I think it’s important that we do help people, particularly if they are in distress. It’s only human and to me an important value.
But, there were a few aspects that didn’t ring true (I’ve numbered some of them above) and if it was a scam, it was clever and sophisticated or am I just gullible? I discussed it with Chris and Eliza who are staying at the BnB. Initially, I still felt it was likely to be legitimate but the more I thought about it, the more the doubts grew.
I easily found the missing Bank (IFSC) reference number and texted to pass it on and suggested that the Mum could send the money direct to his account. If she sent me her bank details I could send back what wasn’t required here in Mysore. I was calling her bluff!
It’s now the evening and its all gone quiet. Thankfully I held off and my doubts were confirmed. There’s been no further contact and the money hasn’t appeared in the bank.
At this distance, it might seem to you that it should have been obvious. It wasn’t then but to me it does seem so now. In many ways, it was cleverly done. But the fraudsters must get results otherwise they wouldn’t try it on.
So there it is, it takes all sorts and I think it is a sad thing.