Dire Straits

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Manjula, Kamalama, and Manjula’s mum Parvatamma

Manjula is just back with more info about Kamalama’s situation. The first story was most accurate. The one about family illness was a cover story.

Kamalama has effectively run away to Coorg, where she’s from, the area of the western Ghats a few hours away.

It seems that there was an argument and some sort of fracas with her son’s ‘wife’. The upshot is that the ‘wife’ threatened to come round with her main husband and kill Kamalama later that day. So she’s done a runner. Can’t blame her but what a terrible situation for an elderly lady.

Farrell Factoid

the wife has a range of ‘husbands’ that she flits between.

I’m not saying this sort of violence is usual or the complex inter-relationships is common but I’ve heard of similar situations.

Kamalama’s son re-appeared a few years ago and she was happy they had re-established contact. She lives a simple life, has a small house and works as cleaner, washing clothes etc at various houses. We think she’s is in her 60’s. It’s difficult to know what if anything we can do.

women’s role models

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From a few months ago….

As I wait for today’s cycle guests. I’m chewing the cud with one of my Ganjam friends who is aged around 11,  she’s a neighbour of Satish’s where I store my cycles. We’re wondering why in India, most girls stop cycling when they become women. There are plenty of positive women role models cycling around the world and of course on our MyCycle tours. There were two from U.K. and Australia yesterday, two from Germany and Switzerland today and some very slightly older women from the UK and Australia tomorrow. Well done to them for setting a superb example! its really noticed by the girls as we cycle around.

But it’s VERY rare (exceptions above, prove the rule!) to see Indian women cycling and when we do see it, its clearly a change in society that comes from the growing middle class. That’s of course superb but we don’t see it often enough. Why?

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Yes, why do Indian girls tend to stop cycling when they become women? Another conversation might help provide some insight.

 

 

Manjula tells me that part of the attractiveness of the opposite sex, (in addition to the usual rigours of determining suitability for an arranged marriage: caste, wealth, stars, parent’s occupation and much much more), there are certain physical characteristics that are looked for. (This doesn’t of course mean it applies across India’s diverse groups!) You know the sort of thing. Small feet for women etc. Well a novel one she’s just told me relates to foot arch. Men’s arch needs to be clear and distinct, women’s feet should be flat! really? its a patriarchal minefield.

My point is, this preoccupation with attractiveness and that includes all sorts of pressure to be perceived as ‘normal’ includes the barrier, the challenge, the tradition, the clear message that cycling when a girl gets older,  makes her less attractive or desirable as a poteniutal bride.

Another friend of mine, who will remain anonymous, as a young women, did some really innovative community projects, in terms of helping poor families. When it came time to look for a husband she had to ditch that work and commitment and hand over to others, to ensure she was able to find a husband!! Otherwise, she might be seen as less desirable with all that baggage!

So likewise, I reckon a woman’s desirability, eligibility, acceptability vis-a-vis marriage is enhanced if she DOESN’T cycle! What a shame! Its so the wrong way round.

Now I’m all for sensitivity to cultural difference, I pride myself on having designed and created many projects in tune and partnership with the communities they served BUT that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be critical of tradition, there are also many things that should change. Patriarchy and oppressing the ladies to conform is one of them. Here’s to the different approach for these future women!

but I do realise that there is such a long way to go…

To be fair its an intenational challenge, women around the world face barriers to taking up or maintaining cycling. A previous guest and our good friend Tiffany Lam has written on this very subject, please follow the link here

to find out more.

Strength to the girls. (and women)… keep on cycling!

Chinese Whispers

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We’ve been worried about Kamalama, one of our cleaners these past few days. Manjula had heard from a mutual friend that Kamalama had been hit and beaten by her son and had gone back to Coorg, the area, three hours away and where she’s from. She’d not been to work for a few days. Manjula had called round to her room but it was locked and she couldn’t find anyone who knew anything more.

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We’ve all missed her and she’s a particular friend of Lucie our dog.

Well, she turned up this morning and clearly the old ‘Chinese whispers’ have been working overtime. How the fact that her daughter’s husband has a heart condition and close to death had contorted to the fact she’d been beaten up escapes me. We are very sorry to hear about her son in law but also relieved she hasn’t been attacked and injured.

Stakeholders? Who?

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the arrogance of the British?

BUT they were sent packing decades ago!

The powers that be, in this case Mysore University, are planning to commercialise the best natural lake in Mysore: Kukkarahalli Kere used by hundreds of locals for invigorating walks and a wonderfully diverse population of birds.

They seem to be stuck in the past.. development-itis means buildings, creating a boating lake (we already have a boating lake –  why not  buy some better boats and get that one working properly?) destroying the very aspects of the lake that attracts the birds and creates the necessary life-enhancing biodiversity. A case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

Well this morning, there was a tremendous turnout of local people from allsorts of local organisations and all political affilitiations, to highlight what will be lost with this inappropriate development. Appreciating their picture show of birds to be found on the lake and signing their petition were hundreds of local people who love the lake as it is now.

Well done the managers of Mysore University, who are acting just like the autocratic British invaders with no sensitivity to local needs and wishes. They might as well be invaders from outside given the complete lack of sensitivity to local stakeholders with little understanding of our need to live in harmony with the natural world. Maybe their brain is not in tune to a real world,  they are contributing to the destruction of Mysore and what makes it unique. Maybe they will realise our loss when its too late.

Unfortunately it was too foggy this morning to properly appreciate the place. Maybe that’s appropriate as it helps illuminate what it will be like after the ‘development’ as we’ll see fewer birds. There will however, always be a place in the hearts of the heartless for the lesser spotted digger, the painted TATA Hitachi, the tool of develpment -itis.

Farrell Factoid

The thread throughout all my careers has been engaging people. One of my current workshops, delivered in the UK as part of the Corporate Responsiblity Academy is a ‘development’ model that is based on stakeholder dialogue and their active participation.

 

 

more change….

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We, that’s Manjula, Kamlama and I, drive to the village in the Ambassador, round the backside of Chamundi Hill.

We park round the front of the small village house and follow the sound of the music to the rear. We’re met by a typical scene: a “tent’ a canvas decorated roof to provide shade,  these are often used for events at someone’s house, has been quickly erected that morning. The musicians are seated on the road in centre of the tent, the men are either seated by the music or constructing something out of bamboo.

Our gardener is laid by the side of the house door with his closest women relatives, particularly his wife and adult daughters, crying, prostate around his body. Small groups respectfully go and place flowers. the pile becomes so high that they are often scooped up and taken away to be added to the ‘litter’ the men are building.

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We pay our respects, leave flowers, wait a few moments and leave.

He will be buried later that day. I don’t know why. Most people are burnt on a funeral pyre (helps the soul escape?)  and then the ashes to be sprinkled on water. Locally that’s on the river such as the site we feature on the Srirangaptnam tour. Some are buried.

For the following thirteen days there are a whole series of rituals and customs to be followed. These vary according to location, caste, local and family tradition. They might include: no cooking at home, a process of cleansing, clearing and cleaning, redecorating the house, showering, Tulsi plants, new sari, bangles, sindu. The widow goes to the burial place to break her bangles, takes the flowers from her hair and wipes off the Sindu.

Its complicated, formal and informal and its significance is unmistakeable.

These scenes are common as we pass through villages.

This is the first close member of our team to die. Nariyanappa has worked for us for over three years and in that relatively short time has created a commerative to his abilities as a gardener. He’s made a real and lasting difference to the place.

You can see it, as you arrive at the house, in the downstairs sit-out, up by the back door with the bouganvillia or the best of the lot, the roof top terrace. Even to the very last moments he was concerned to ensure his daughter (who also works for us) was visiting regularly to water and keep the garden in good order.

Respect!

We visited his wife and family during this period of mourning to provide some cash to help them through and the gift of a little sun We thought it was approriate as he’d brought a light into our home with the beautiful garden he’d created which is appreciated by the hundreds of people who visit us here in Mysore.

Thank you Nariyanappa!

 

Who is Cochrane?

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According to ‘The Times’ (in UK) :

“He was a Radical, whereas those were the palmy days of Toryism. He was outspoken, whereas officials admire reticence and discretion. He was resolute in exposing abuses, and therefore constantly creating trouble. He was impractible – a term still in favour for describing inconvenient excellence; and he head a strong spirit of independence – a quality which as very recent controversies have shown is singularly obnoxious to the official mind.”

This biography of a unique man, helps illustrate how institutions such as the Royal Navy in late 18th and early 19th century were corrupt and how the establishment ‘looked after its own’ and wouldn’t countenance the challenges represented by the radical movement and in this case Lord  Cochrane.

In some ways it helps show how Britain might have introduced or at the very least encouraged those practices through the British Raj in India.

Back to Cochrane. Historian Sir Archibald Alison stated…

Lord Cochrane was, after the death of Nelson, the greatest naval commander of that age of glory. Equal to his great predecessor in personal gallantry, enthusiastic ardour, and devotion to his country, he was perhaps his superior  in original genius, inventive power and inexhaustible resources.

 

 

want a boy or a girl 2

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Remember back in November I relayed Manjula’s discussion with friends about whether they would want a boy or a girl? Its here if you wish to check back.

It was triggered by the pregnancy of one of her friends.

Well, as I mentioned in the postscript, the pregnant woman’s husband subsequently died

Now we’ve just heard even more news of the suffering of this poor woman. Her mother has just died during a visit to her daughter whose baby is due this week. Manjula and her other friends have now gone to console her.

I’ll let you know how things develop but imagine what the poor woman must be going through.

the big birthday

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thank you for all your kind wishes and I hope you all have a wonderful happiness filled year. It was my birthday and yes we did celebrate it on the 31st December (2016). I was 50, ten years ago and I have already been caught out telling someone I was 50 this time around but it isn’t the absolute truth I’m 50 + 10 Maybe I’m getting a little forgetful.img_1179Well the celebrations of this esteemed occasion began a year (2015) ago with a small party in Mysore as I reached the 60th year, then we celebrated with Manjula’s BIG trip to the UK in July (2016).

On the day itself, I was fortunate that two friends: Laura and Frances, who I met a couple of years ago at University came to visit on, New year’s Eve (2016). As you can see: No opportunity to celebrate has been or will be lost. It will continue in the next eleven months: camping and Ben’s weddingin July in the UK and a final recognition when my youngest Ol reaches 30 (in 2017) and we’re a pint and a half. Yes I don’t understand it either. and the dates in brackets? just so that the confusion doesn’t reign.

Factoid

But I have now realised that the older one’s gets is similar to when one begins to understand more of India. We realise how little we really know, and how much more there is to know that we first thought and then the ultimate relaisation, it doesn’t really matter!