The wedding ceremony means so much.
On the surface it’s bringing two people together. But it’s the joining of two families.
It’s also an opportunity to dress up, reconnect with family and friends, realise how we’ve all grown.
The bride arrives
We’re part of the family as many of the grandsons of our house owner and extended family have lived on our roof
A campaigning group using direct action to challenge.
Its name comes from World War One when the inept leaders were considered to be donkeys leading the lions who were the ordinary soldiers.
Humour but biting.
The blue and yellow paint helped create the Ukraine flag outside the Russian Embassy in London.
Direct action, questioning and challenging is an essential part of democracy.
My Indian friends can’t quite believe how disrespectful we are of our politicians.
This takes so much planning, skilful implementation and absolute daring.
I’m so impressed.
…
One of the new books in Manjula’s library.
Another example of our wonderful guests, that become friends and how our chosen family now spans the world.
How lucky are we?
Here’s this weeks Facebook posting from them. ….
Ten years ago when we planned a visit to Mysore with children for the first time, we wanted to give them a unique experience. After lots of googling we chose an english man Stephen Farrell’s , Mysore Bed and Breakfast. It was a home away from home where travellers from different part of the world prefered to stay during their Mysore visit.
Stephen shares his home with guests and offer complimentary home cooked tasty breakfast. All the guests share the same table conversing with each other during breakfast.
Warm hospitality shown by Stephen, Manjula and their lovely Lucy remained as fond memory with us, especially with Dhrithi n Diya.
We were in touch with Stephen through Facebook and we knew what’s happening in his life. He married Manjula but unfortunately their time together after marriage was only for short duration due to untimely demise of Manjula. Stephen gave a beautiful experience to Manjula during her life time. He traveled with her to different tourist destinations, took her to his home country twice, Introduced her to his family and friends. He loved her unconditionally, gave best treatment possible and tried to fulfill her dreams. The days spent with Stephen might be the happiest moment in Manjulas life.
Few days ago, i. e. After ten years we got the opportunity to visit Mysore again with daughters. Dasara Celebration was just over but vibe was still there. Dhrithi Diya didn’t show any interest in seeing palace, decorations, exhibition or lightings. Instead they wanted to meet Stephen at his place. We were meeting him after ten years but surprisingly we didn’t feel the time gap and the connection was instant. He interacted and narrated stories with same enthusiasm, Lucy was as lovely as she was before. Beadu cat is the new addition to the family. Even we could feel the presence of Manjula in every room every corner of that house. Stephen manages public garden in front of the house in her memory. Stephens eternal love towards Manjula is incomparable.
He converted one room to Library in Manjulas memory. He showed his collection of books to Dhrithi Diya. He is keeping Manjulas memory alive through various activities including reading activity for youths. Dhrithi n Diya received godfather card from Stephen . And he said only few children recived that card from him so far and he will support them always .
Stephen conducts MyCycle, tour on Cycle to various parts of Mysore and surrounding villages. He has good knowledge about India, he apreciates cultural diversity, craftsmanship, artifacts & practices of India. He loves to interact with people from diverse background , celebrate festivals. He has deep understanding about the essence of India and some time I feel he is more Indian than many of us.
He shares his experience and memories in his blog
https://meandmycycle.com/2023/10/31/guests-become-friends-2/
Their Facebook entry
And Ina….
Another evening out with friends, including the guests from our wedding and Manjula’s last birthday celebration.
Or stay the same
The choice is ours, whether it’s on an individual, organisational or societal level.
Some changes come easier then others but let’s stick with the question of — should we challenge and change?
In my view there’s an unequivocal yes.
As an individual and the networks, groups or communities we form, of course we change.
What’s learning if it’s not adopting and adapting to changing situations, and developing new ways of doing things (and thinking!).
Some people and organisations will challenge change and prefer to stick with the status quo.
When that happens, look a little deeper.
What’s their motivation not to want to change? Fear? Retaining or enhancing power?
One of the most important aspects of change is personal development, it helps create who we are.
But it’s also nonsensical to suggest there shouldn’t be change in our wider groups and society
It’s critical that we innovate and adapt, developing the requisite abilities. That might be number one priority.
Well not quite.
Our actual biggest challenge is friction, and by this I mean between people, their organisations, communities, and nations.
We need to develop effective sustainable relationships and to achieve that we need to learn to be kind.
That requires us to see things from the others’ point of view, to communicate, to connect, to be flexible and adapt.
Yes… change, constantly.
Maybe we can actually reduce violent conflict …. Now that would be cool.
So we can choose to change and not be stuck …
… in what previous generations have handed down to us
NOR
…. in our personal experiences and traumas
We can shift.
Simple eh?
Admittedly. It’s not straightforward … No it’s our life long challenge, to choose who we want to be and hopefully find happiness and contentment.
But if we’re not conscious and try we might just lose this lifelong opportunity.
There’s books I’d recommend, in Manjula’s library that help cover this.
So when we next hear someone rejecting change, said in so many ways: ‘that’s not our tradition’, ‘that’s how we do it here’, ‘it’s our culture’ we can’t, etc etc then it’s for the WPB
Ok, that might be a bit harsh, at least dive into more reflection and re-evaluation.
– Are our ways of thinking and doing fit for purpose anymore?
– Is it appropriate in this day and age?
Now that’s maybe opened a reactionary can-of-worms.
The following books are in Manjula’s library.
You might also want to check Vedanta! Perhaps recommend a book for the library.
October update.
We have our fair share of things we do … at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
Here we commemorate MAnjula and help her spirit find its new body.
Support Kaveri in Manjula’s name and share her sunshine
Go cycling with our guests
Ask the goddess to make our ‘tools’ work for the next year
“There are some people who have sun inside them.
It’s hard to explain.
Their presence just brightens, it’s not about their beautiful smiles.
They have an internal being that sheds light and feels like sun.
It’s a calm energy. Inner peace.
But most importantly; it’s not wanting anything back in return.
It’s sun.”
— Unknown 🎀
As is this …..
We even invented a sun cake.
Everyone who visits Mysore Bed and Breakfast deserves an award, partly because they’ve tolerated me and also missed MAnjula.
Some people go above and beyond such as …
Ina visited every year and became our biggest and closest friend. Here she’s sharing memories about MAnjula.
Her award is for constantly reminding me of the wonderfulness of MAnjula, visiting us each year and being a solid support after ‘losing’ MAnjula.
Tom and Amy, also became wonderful supportive friends being part of our life, through many visits and helping me in so many ways including at short notice, visiting to support me after MAnjula died.
She adapted the ‘glass half full’ saying to full full.
Florian a good friend who recently returned to Mysore from Germany for some bizarre reason has read the blog site. He’s commended for fighting his way through that jungle.
Kaveri for being my adopted granddaughter who miraculously popped into my life and with her fab character reminds me so much of MAnjula. She could have been our daughter. Here’s a video taken shortly after we met.
… and a thank you to the many people who’ve found us via the net and just said hello in the street, at a hotel, or visited us, particularly those who attend our reflective space event or come to stay in our home.
We couldn’t, of course, forget Lucie and Billet-Doux.
or Sowbaghya (aka SB) who
manages everything
Seen here with Ina
The very first reward was given fourteen years ago and still hangs in Manjula’s Library.
After watching Ina’s family’s celebration of her life, (funeral).
I’m reminded to try and always leave meeting someone with warmth and care as it might be the last time we see them. I did with Ina but still need reminding to always be attentive, kind and share compassion.
There’s more about Ina here
Each year we will do Puja for MAnjula and Ina to help their spirits ‘on the way’ to their new lives.
Creativity from Manjula’s Mysore and her friends
At Kaliyuvamane with a focus on hands
Thank you to Antoinette visiting from New York who designed and delivered the workshop.
A recent arrival at Manjula’s Library.
There’s a short chapter on ‘the language of love’ my reaction is not surprising, given the subject.
It happens ‘sometimes’. …
There’s a physical tightening of the stomach and a sort of shift in the eyes and forehead leading to the feeling of tears welling and a teeny moisturising of the eyes. I’m still making my way through the fantasy fairground tunnel of love slowly through the thick mud of grief gravy. Whilst I’ll never get to the end I need to ensure I break into the positive memory zones and rediscover tolerance.
On the way I’m reminded of previous moments of our wonderful life that I was lucky enough to share with my MAnjula.
Her love was constant (probably) and consistent built on her strengths of attentiveness and presence. I love her more as I’m share more of its layers passing through this crazy tunnel.
I realise that I’ve written this with John Lennon’s Woman playing in the background and it all started with you are my sunshine.
Lyrics below
Woman
I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all, I’m forever in your debt
And woman
I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success
…
Woman
I know you understand
The little child inside the man
Please remember, my life is in your hands
And woman
Hold me close to your heart
However distant, don’t keep us apart
After all, it is written in the stars
…
woman
Please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
——-
You are my sunshine
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine away
The other night, dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you
In my arms
When I awoke, dear
I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine away
Me and MYCycle 