Growth post trauma

May 16, 2024May 16, 2024 SFLeave a comment

I like this edition from Maria Popova…

“A person is not a potted plant of predetermined personality but a garden abloom with the consequences of chance and choice that have made them who they are, resting upon an immense seed vault of dormant potentialities. At any given moment, any seed can sprout — whether by conscious cultivation or the tectonic tilling of some great upheaval or the composting of old habits and patterns of behavior that fertilize a new way of being. Nothing saves us from the tragedy of ossifying more surely than a devotion to regularly turning over the soil of personhood so that new expressions of the soul can come abloom.”

John Gardner on the Key to Self-Renewal Across Life and the Art of Making Rather Than Finding Meaning

We’re multidimensional and can grow in any number of directions. As I’m continually tangled in the survival of life’s challenges especially the grief that knows no name, I like this perspective. To me it links with the Buddhist concept of feeding the seeds, it reflects there is choice and opportunity in making ourselves what we want and need to be.

It’s no accident that I’m reflecting on this the day after Kaveri has returned to school. She represents a bountiful section of the new garden..

I wish MAnjula’s presence and attentive love was physically with me to help with the gardening. We’ll all manage together, in this new chapter.

Summer Camp four 2024

May 2, 2024 SFLeave a comment

Just to ensure you got it….. the following activities have formed this year’s camp for Kaveri …

Swimming, skating, trying out new things…

and dropping into the summer camp organised by Manjesh of Chirayu Dance Institute here in Siddarthalayout.

That’s not to mention, watching movies, walking Lucie, visitors to Aroma for treats, pestering for one thing or another, especially screen time.

Making me a bracelet as last years is about to fall off.

Predominantly staying at Mysore Bed and Breakfast with auntie — sorry sister — Radhika, but what is the old git doing?

Apparently traditionally thanking the guests for joining the final celebration of Chirayu’s Summer Camp.

Visiting Leela vet hospital as Lucie, the old dear has developed a limp. Dodgy Joints? not to mention it’s too hot for her!!

Tomorrow is someone’s tenth birthday.

Summer Camp 2024 two

April 24, 2024April 25, 2024 SFLeave a comment

Our fun activities since returning to Mysore include:

Skating

Kaveri has progressed to new skates and uniform, again with the Elite Roller Skating Academy

…

Swimming

classes again at our local pool.

and a local dance centre has organised their very own summer camp.

With a day out

Five years ago

March 23, 2024 SFLeave a comment

A light wavered.

It didn’t go out as she’s very much with me.

Todays Pooja

Today on the fifth anniversary of losing her —- physically yes —- but not in any other way.

We remember Manjula

A meal is prepared including all her favourite things.

A packet has to be freshly opened as ‘leftovers’ are not acceptable.

We offer it to her and by praying to her God we help her spirit find her way to the next incarnation.

You know who you are.

March 19, 2024 SFLeave a comment

Friends, Romans, Countrymen .

No it’s not another posting about Shakespeare or Caesar —- it’s about a different inspiration —-

Manjula

As we approach the anniversary of Manjula’s partial departure five years ago (she is of course very much with us) I want to remember her beautiful wonderfulness and recall the good we’ve done together, in her name.

And so it’s also about you: ‘Manjula’s Kind’ friends who have given cash or help-in-kind or moral support to help me through the grief gravy and to take action.

Amongst these are (please follow the links for more information):

– granite benches and garden in our nearby park in Siddarthanagar in partnership with the MCC

-creativity days for 40 visually impaired young women,

– five events/workshops at Kaliyuvamane, (a ‘free/alternative school) for 100 children, there’s many mentions on our sites, here’s two … 1 and 2

One of our creativity days, this one facilitated by Antoinette.

– sponsoring a young girl who now attends Kaliyuvamane. The famous Kaveri who’s peppered throughout our sites and dominates my life.

– donating cycles

And many more actions

Thank you so much

Stephen

With Manjula

A wonderful woman

March 16, 2024 SFLeave a comment

In so many ways.

She could beat the Brit with her fast thinking humour.

This month I don’t rely just on my memory as I’m being constantly reminded by the smart phone photos of what happened five years ago when MAnjula had had enough.

This image (thanks for creating it Punith) popped up. As with everything, a story goes with it. …

Occasionally we’d have guests who’d arrive a bit fed-up. Maybe tired from the daily onslaught of travel or messed up by the consistent inconsistencies of this unpredictable land.

Manjula and I would realise (using secret signals) that we had someone who was ‘glass half full’ and then we’d turn up the jokey banter ‘smelling salts’ to help bring them round.

In due course when we were over full (when I’d lose my bedroom due to too many guests) it became known as ‘full full’. In time MAnjula used the term to reflect our happy life together.

It was ‘full full’ just too short.

A year later..

March 11, 2024March 15, 2024 SFLeave a comment

It’s been that long since Kaveri joined Kaliyuvamane

From the very beginning —-Sarvesh (Multi-lingual, typical talented Indian) and I (mono-lingual.. you know the stuff!!) explained to her mum Chandrika the pros and cons of the school:

— it’s small, free to parents, with a good track record from not following the education sausage factory model

— It’s residential, and you’ll only see Kaveri at home a couple of times a month although you can visit as often as you wish.

— as it’s outside the system she can’t easily (if at all) rejoin a mainstream education (it’s an alternative/free school) until age 16

Chandrika and Mani had visited this and one other school I’d suggested and been invited to suggest others.

We did emphasise it was her decision.

She chose Kaliyuvamane.

Personally I liked the school its approach to education and life in general. I think it’s been a great success. The fact that it’s residential, also helps.

BUT over the past few months Kaveri’s mother has changed her mind. She, in any case has difficulty sticking to one thing. She decided to take Kaveri out of the school.

She misses her and wants her to help around the house. Neighbours, employers and others, we don’t really know who, criticise her for ‘giving-up’ her daughter.

It’s been a stressful period to put it mildly.

You’d be forgiven for thinking she’d gone stark raving mad. Everything about Kaveri and her life as improved dramatically. She now the average size for her age, progressed in all her education, had a great confidence, a real star at the school. Ticks in all directions.

So we invited Chandrika, her mum and sister over to my house to decide.

Discussions with grandmother, Radhika and Chandrika.

Trishala and Eregowda very much part of Manjula’s Mysore team. they initiated this meeting and together with our man in Australia brought us to a happy resolution.

From right, Radhika (auntie) , Chandrika (mum) and moi.

Chandrika has agreed to keep Kaveri at Kaliyuvamane. Thanks to everyone in the team, and at Kaliyuvamane. Not forgetting the significant help from Sarvesh, in Australia.

A new career begins

December 6, 2023December 6, 2023 SFLeave a comment

I’m helping out at Kaliyuvamane, the alternative ‘free’ school where Kaveri attends.

Our morning session with members of the teaching team

Then I was hijacked by Kaveri and some of her classmates

to cover a lesson as their teacher was on leave

Did someone set me up?🤭🤔🤪

It was an education! To put it mildly. I now promise to properly prepare for when a similar situation arises again.

I’ve facilitated workshops for adults for many years — that’s nothing compared to working with young people.

I realise what a challenging job the teachers have and how difficult it is to make a class interesting and responsive to the diverse needs of the students. ….. as a one off, let alone day-in-day-out!!!

Well done all.