On MAnjula’s death anniversary, we came up with a great idea to celebrate her— even more — by going on holiday to one of her favourite places.
It may provide material for an Enid Blyton story
Kannur is where Manjula and I first went on holiday together after our engagement in 2015.
Maybe we’ll find treasure, or at least get wet.
It’ll be a great adventure with MAnjula giggling from the antics of the loosely formed team.
It’s a challenge, anywhere, to bring together fragments of four families with two additions of an Englishman and his dog but this is India. It’ll be OK.
Thankfully we’ll not be cycling.
It’s a great way to thank Sowbaghya, Tanuja and Satish for the help they’ve been in so many ways, including setting up the new business.
It’s also an opportunity to spend fun time with Kaveri and her young auntie Rhadika.
That’s Rhadika dressed up for ethnic day in the midst of her exams.
We’ve got the go ahead from Kaveri’s mum, Satish has worked it out with the school and Jo will definitely have completed her term.
So we’re good to go…
Wonderful
So which amazing place is going to host this motley crew?
When one suffers such loss that forms a trauma and it’s aftermath, it’s an extra challenge to focus on the positive.
It’s especially difficult at anniversary time. There’s a preoccupation with the loss, the guilt, a blaming.
In this month there’s also helpful reminders of good, our wedding ceremonies.
Some might wonder why I follow so ‘religiously’ the traditions. It’s simply my love and devotion for MAnjula.
I always tried my best to do what she wantedAnd she was bossy
The day afterwards brings out memories of when she was laid to rest on her bed, outside our house with the tell tale symbols of the smouldering wood informing the neighbourhood what was happening. Next we’d go to the industrial shed-oven aka crematorium and before that a puja by the side led by Manjula’s brother.
A kindly neighbour brought Bhagavad Gita to help emphasise our duty not to become too attached to our loved ones and to help their soul spirit move onto another body.
Do follow the link and check the video at the end where I’m at one of the most significant places on Srirangaptnam; visited on every cycle tour over the past ten years.
The third death anniversary of Manjula. We try to do all the right things.
Signs are posted next to M’s garden to explain that we’ve created it in her memory. (It’s even in the shape of a ‘M’.) A large image of MAnjula is positioned at our gate, Hindu’s recognise immediately what it’s about. We’re inviting her to come in. We all take it in turns to do puja, a request to the gods and wishes to MAnjula to help her on her way. Who nows? Maybe she’s already found her next body but We play safe and do the ceremonies in case she hasn’t I close the hall (lounge) door behind me as we all leave the house. This is to allow Manjula’s soul spirit to eat. We’ll gently knock on re-entering so she knows to go. Sowbhaghya, who now tries her best to hold it all together is ably assisted by Tanuja and Satish the director’s of the new company: ‘Manjula’s Mysore’ to create a great day, remembering and helping MAnjula on her way. Over the years friends have created a MAnjula memory tree.
Ina the Scottish Australian who became a great friend of ours and especially Manjula calls and arranges to visit later in the year.
Thank you MAnjula for being the all-embracing you, we all miss and cherish you while continuing to feel your presence.
I have another bright idea, I might regret it.
By the end of the day and unusually for this time of year it rains.
This is possibly my favourite but it’s impossible to choose.
We have great friends from here including Punith, Karan and a couple of the wonderful lecturers.
Today, new friends, Fab students gave me their precious time and wonderful insights. Which carried on in the evening with great entertainmentAnd to prove I’m Indian I just had to take a selfie.
Wonderful decoration at Lakshmi’s parent’s house next door and after twelve years living here I still forget and turn up on time. Where is everyone? The tying of the knot is actually tomorrow. This is the reception
Thankfully it’s filling out and I recognise a couple of people, so correct day and place.
I’m in a new phase in addition to visiting places where I’ve already been with Manjula, like many of the central London attractions, I now find myself wishing she was with me in new situations.
Well she is ! Ripples of excitement as people are recognised and celebrated.
These are critical events in connecting community.
It’s getting late and nothings happened yet. I haven’t planned this properly and should have eaten. I might beat a hasty retreat.
I’ll be back in the morning.
Tomorrow Lakshmi and Sunil tie the knot. Today at reception, only soft drinks, it’s gifts and photos.
Me and MYCycle 