We have our fair share of things we do … at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
Here we commemorate MAnjula and help her spirit find its new body.
We’re outside discreetly waiting while her spirit feeds. As we re-enter the house we make noise so she knows to leave.
Support Kaveri in Manjula’s name and share her sunshine
Go cycling with our guests
Ask the goddess to make our ‘tools’ work for the next year
That’s MAnjula
“There are some people who have sun inside them. It’s hard to explain. Their presence just brightens, it’s not about their beautiful smiles. They have an internal being that sheds light and feels like sun. It’s a calm energy. Inner peace. But most importantly; it’s not wanting anything back in return. It’s sun.”
Tom and Amy, also became wonderful supportive friends being part of our life, through many visits and helping me in so many ways including at short notice, visiting to support me after MAnjula died.
To MAnjula for filling up my life.
She adapted the ‘glass half full’ saying to full full.
Florian a good friend who recently returned to Mysore from Germany for some bizarre reason has read the blog site. He’s commended for fighting his way through that jungle.
Scary
Kaveri for being my adopted granddaughter who miraculously popped into my life and with her fab character reminds me so much of MAnjula. She could have been our daughter. Here’s a video taken shortly after we met.
… and a thank you to the many people who’ve found us via the net and just said hello in the street, at a hotel, or visited us, particularly those who attend our reflective space event or come to stay in our home.
We couldn’t, of course, forget Lucie and Billet-Doux.
or Sowbaghya (aka SB) who
manages everything
Seen here with Ina
The very first reward was given fourteen years ago and still hangs in Manjula’s Library.
The T shirt was a later addition after I knew we’d fallen in love
I expect I’m doing my usual and stating the bleeding obvious.
In this unwelcome necessary extraordinary extended period of reflection and potential growth, I realise the greatest challenge.
Yes it’s about loss and grief, goes without saying, I suppose.
There’s been many but especially three (many more of course but three for listing here) . Losing someone through splitting up with a lover, second losing Manjula when she died. Now I’d count my tonic to deal with the grief as the third. It’s not loss but deep down it’s the equivalent.
So why do I put them together?
They represent times when I felt unable to do anything … actually experiencing powerlessness, learning lack of control in some situations.
That realisation comes … After a lifetime of reinforced messages that it’s up to us, we’re masters of our own destiny and in control.
The third example is having the wherewithal to support and guide Kaveri but to realise how handicapped I am in the face of a completely dysfunctional family who don’t understand or care.
Well done, Farrell — that’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into (only yesterday, Kaveri was asking about Laurel and Hardy) — But of course it’s about regaining one’s equilibrium, being positive and constructive, working out the way that works and the benefit I can gain from another of life’s lessons.
So in a different way, it does depend on how we take it and manage the situation — critically it’s in the eyes of the beholder—and mostly about our relationships.
So as I said bleeding obvious.
I send this to you because you might not believe it but you are very important
I’ve now agreed to match whatever she saves this (financial) year, with the equivalent each year up until she reaches 21.
We’ve started counting her savings and placed them in a box at my home
That’s now over 5,000Rs from the two years I’ve known her, from selling bracelets at the kids market and generally extorting from the foreigners. 🤔🤭🙂
It’ll be put into a protected account so no one else can get their grubby hands on it.
One of the many many lessons I learned from Manjula is how she experienced people, particularly men but not exclusively, and also family members (and first husband) who would take her money, gold and send her out to the moneylenders to borrow more.
We will have protections in place, help educate Kaveri and hopefully the strong woman I know she will become will help safeguard her as an adult.
…
Plus she’s astute at reminding me of my ‘pearls of wisdom’ when I forget to follow my own advice. So we’ll also keep an eye on each other.
..
So Kaveri… the savings are for you to choose how to use BUT it’s a waste to spend on parties. Leave that until you’re rich.
We are very happy that children are enthusiastically flocking around Mr. Rajesh Madhavan, Theatre Director, a product of ‘Ninasam’ – Theatre Institute, who is staying on the campus.
Our sincere gratitude to ‘Nirdiganta’ for opting ‘Kaliyuva Mane’ for their 6 months’ programme, ‘Shala Rangavikasa’ (ಶಾಲಾ ರಂಗವಿಕಾಸ). Hope this will enhance the emotional stability, imagination and expression of children.
Please watch the video:
This is the school Kaveri attends.
It’s providing innovative ways to help the children become more confident and develop competencies to help tackle life’s challenges whilst fulfilling their potential.
It’s a great example of how Kaliyuvamane School has a different approach which goes beyond traditional schooling.
“A person is not a potted plant of predetermined personality but a garden abloom with the consequences of chance and choice that have made them who they are, resting upon an immense seed vault of dormant potentialities. At any given moment, any seed can sprout — whether by conscious cultivation or the tectonic tilling of some great upheaval or the composting of old habits and patterns of behavior that fertilize a new way of being. Nothing saves us from the tragedy of ossifying more surely than a devotion to regularly turning over the soil of personhood so that new expressions of the soul can come abloom.”
We’re multidimensional and can grow in any number of directions. As I’m continually tangled in the survival of life’s challenges especially the grief that knows no name, I like this perspective. To me it links with the Buddhist concept of feeding the seeds, it reflects there is choice and opportunity in making ourselves what we want and need to be.
It’s no accident that I’m reflecting on this the day after Kaveri has returned to school. She represents a bountiful section of the new garden..
I wish MAnjula’s presence and attentive love was physically with me to help with the gardening. We’ll all manage together, in this new chapter.
It’s important to recognise and realise how much my adopted family here in India as helped me survive the most difficult years in my life.
Sowbaghya is so critical to my life here in Mysore
She’s project managed and coordinated the rejuvenation of the radical red, that is now attention seeking in and around Mysore and Srirangaptnam
That’s the tip of the mountain of help she has been.
Sowbaghya is important to me and has kept me and the business going.
Thank you Sowbaghya for all your help.
I firmly believe that grief is always with us but becomes more manageable as we fill the space around it with important valued people and ‘things’ we do.
The next member of the family, everyone knows, the irrepressible Kaveri. Grief manager extraordinaire.
I can’t begin to list what she does for me.
She makes me smile (and cry.)
She’s cool.
She’s a big thing.
Our mini team is complete with Kaveri’s ‘sister’ Radhika, a wonderful young woman.
I look forward to witnessing her develop and we growing together through the years.
Oh ….. Trishalla and Eregowda, have been a great support through difficult and remembering times, you’ll have to wait to see where that leads.
A special mention for: Sarvesh, Vasanth, Satish, Tanuja and their families.
We’ve all worked together to cherish and continue Manjula’s radiance through our projects: events, school, community meals, creativity days, supporting Kaveri, and making Manjula’s garden in the park.
Not to forget our guests who have become family and my very own DNA family folks in the U.K. and Canada
Ina, our every-year guest who was a big buddy of MAnjula and now me, in front of the banner created by other guests.
Me and MYCycle 