Different worlds

Ganesh, originally bought from the stone carvers in Tamil Nadu with representations of — (from the left) the moon, earth and sun.

I’ve adapted one of his key stories to share with Kaveri and Radhika.

It traditionally goes like this …

Ganesh and his brother have a race round the world to prove who’s fastest.

If we were asked to predict who would win we’d think his brother, as Ganesh aka Ganpati isn’t lithe and doesn’t look fit. Plus .. He eats a lot!

His brother is shocked to find Ganesh already there when he breathlessly reaches the finishing line.

It turns out Ganesh raced around his world (his parents) and his brother raced around the whole world (planet earth).

My addition.

There’s no right or wrong here, both raced around important worlds. Fact is — we occupy many worlds— at school, where we live, amongst our friends, work. It’s important for us to realise these different worlds — an understanding of which — helps us realise how people see things differently.

Only then … can we — Be Kind— (a regular message to Kaveri), as that depends on us understanding how each person sees things. No point ‘being kind’ in ways that ‘the other’ person doesn’t value or recognise.

Manjula’s Library

Factoid !?

Kartikeya ), also known as Skanda, Subrahmanya, Shanmukha and Murugan, is the Hindu god of war. He is generally described as the son of the deities Shiva and Parvati and the brother of Ganesha.

Lifted off the t’internet

All images are in Mysore Bed and Breakfast but non of his brother as he’s still racing around the world.

Help – Break the crate..

Revealing possibilities

Broadening Horizons

Passing through Barriers

Help girls (and boys) prepare for adult life by introducing yourself and sharing your insights. 

Manjula’s Mysore is inviting its guests and members of its monthly meeting: ‘reflective space’ to create a short   Introductory video — talking to camera — to reveal what’s possible.

I often use the story of Ganesh and his brother racing each other to reveal to young people that we live in many different worlds — with our immediate family, at home, with friends, at work, our extended family, while travelling. 

It’s important to recognise and value difference reflected in those different worlds. That helps us to realise what wide variety of opportunities exist for us.

Many young people don’t understand how different their lives could be.

If we know more, we’re more enlightened and can better choose the life we wish to have, and find what suits us best.

Breaking the crate.

It might mean challenging the status quo and breaking away from what’s traditionally expected of us.

Sharing examples gives others strength.

This idea came from how much Kaveri learned about other people’s worlds by meeting guests of all ages — from India and around the world—- at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.

I hope this helps broaden her horizons and seize opportunities

Manjula realised — that even with a limited education, from a poor background having experienced so many difficult challenges throughout her life — she could create a wonderful home, share it with people from around the world, become a company director, manage our business and teach a Firangi a thing or two!! (Many things actually)

Manjula continues to give.

Look at what she had to put up with …

Surely you can do better than this!!

Critical management.

I’ve tried to help people become active participants in the decisions affecting them throughout my life.

I’ve worked to develop and improve their organisations as facilitator and manager since the early 80s.

Initially this was in NGOs and government but later in my career i was guide: consultant and trainer working with MNCs (multi-national companies) and by developing partnerships.

Occasionally, here I’ll post opinion pieces and insights from my experiences. These are for anyone but particularly young people and especially members of our reflective space group here in Mysore.

Here’s the latest.

Dancing Elephants about personal and organisational change

Management styles: whimsical

Management Styles: Banyan Tree

More subjects will follow about innovation, motivation, developmental stages of an organisation, responsible business, thinking…

blah blah blah

..

Uncanny coincidence.

With dancing elephants we introduced an award scheme. Years later we found an incredible coincidence.

Sometimes things were meant to be.

….

Manjula’s Library

There’s a great range of books including those on learning, management, history, philosophy and education in Manjula’s library at our house aka Mysore Bed and Breakfast. My favourites are the children’s picture books which are of course for all ages!

….

My MPhil was a research degree in Critical Management undertaken at Lancaster University in the 1990s

In my studies and practice, I focused on human behaviour in different contexts. When I reached my 60s, I realised I’ll never understand human behaviour 🤪

I’ve helped develop hundreds of projects over the years. As a facilitator no one probably associates them with me.

I’m satisfied with that.

Stephen

London campaign against the Russian war with the Ukraine

A campaigning group using direct action to challenge.

Its name comes from World War One when the inept leaders were considered to be donkeys leading the lions who were the ordinary soldiers.

Humour but biting.

A stunt to challenge the war.

The blue and yellow paint helped create the Ukraine flag outside the Russian Embassy in London.

Direct action, questioning and challenging is an essential part of democracy.

My Indian friends can’t quite believe how disrespectful we are of our politicians.

This takes so much planning, skilful implementation and absolute daring.

I’m so impressed.

One of the new books in Manjula’s library.

Challenge and change

Or stay the same

The choice is ours, whether it’s on an individual, organisational or societal level.

Some changes come easier then others but let’s stick with the question of — should we challenge and change?

In my view there’s an unequivocal yes.

As an individual and the networks, groups or communities we form, of course we change.

What’s learning if it’s not adopting and adapting to changing situations, and developing new ways of doing things (and thinking!).

Some people and organisations will challenge change and prefer to stick with the status quo.

When that happens, look a little deeper.

What’s their motivation not to want to change? Fear? Retaining or enhancing power?

One of the most important aspects of change is personal development, it helps create who we are.

But it’s also nonsensical to suggest there shouldn’t be change in our wider groups and society

It’s critical that we innovate and adapt, developing the requisite abilities. That might be number one priority.

Well not quite.

Our actual biggest challenge is friction, and by this I mean between people, their organisations, communities, and nations.

We need to develop effective sustainable relationships and to achieve that we need to learn to be kind.

That requires us to see things from the others’ point of view, to communicate, to connect, to be flexible and adapt.

Yes… change, constantly.

Maybe we can actually reduce violent conflict …. Now that would be cool.

So we can choose to change and not be stuck …

… in what previous generations have handed down to us

NOR

…. in our personal experiences and traumas

We can shift.

Simple eh?

Admittedly. It’s not straightforward … No it’s our life long challenge, to choose who we want to be and hopefully find happiness and contentment.

But if we’re not conscious and try we might just lose this lifelong opportunity.

There’s books I’d recommend, in Manjula’s library that help cover this.

So when we next hear someone rejecting change, said in so many ways: ‘that’s not our tradition’, ‘that’s how we do it here’, ‘it’s our culture’ we can’t, etc etc then it’s for the WPB

Ok, that might be a bit harsh, at least dive into more reflection and re-evaluation.

– Are our ways of thinking and doing fit for purpose anymore?

– Is it appropriate in this day and age?

Now that’s maybe opened a reactionary can-of-worms.

The following books are in Manjula’s library.

You might also want to check Vedanta! Perhaps recommend a book for the library.

Precious moments

After watching Ina’s family’s celebration of her life, (funeral).

I’m reminded to try and always leave meeting someone with warmth and care as it might be the last time we see them. I did with Ina but still need reminding to always be attentive, kind and share compassion.

That’ll do nicely, Lucie appreciates her comforting gift (having taken over the downstairs floor) and can pretend she’s the queen, when the cat’s not around.
The two big buddies. Manjula and Ina who just might already be having a gas, a great time together, as souls who will reconnect.

There’s more about Ina here

Each year we will do Puja for MAnjula and Ina to help their spirits ‘on the way’ to their new lives.

Manjula and Ina

Manjula and Lucie (our dog) Welcoming Ina to our home.

After that first visit she would field questions from our guests who came to share our home — Mysore Bed and Breakfast– were we a couple?

Ina acknowledged before us that we’d fallen in love.

Ina came every year (except during the pandemic) from that first visit, for a total of ten years. She became a very close friend of my wife Manjula and a great support to me helping me grieve Manjula. She was our favourite and most regular guest, here Ina is promoting us with the new mug and proving she became an essential part of the team (furniture!).

The photos are from our last year with Manjula visiting the local Tibetan settlement and Somnathpur Temple. Ina, Manjula, Willan (our workawayer in 2018) and myself, Stephen

I was their sometime chauffeur

Together, celebrating Manjula’s last birthday in 2018

There’s more here including Ina’s visit a month ago

We will miss Ina, a wonderful caring character, who has become part of our life, here in Mysore. After Manjula died she often referred to her as a Lotus who had survived and thrived through the mud. They both radiated their goodness as sisters and had a wicked sense of humour

Ina lit a candle for her and what we’ll do each year is a Puja for both Manjula and Ina to help their spirits find their new home.

Just as we recently did for Manjula

We look forward to meeting again

Stephen

The sweet-ish sisters ..

… Leave for two nights with Kaveri’s mum.

It’s been the usual joy having them here for the week.

There’s one more before they return to school and college.

The T-shirt was left as a gift by a recent guest but nicely sums up the impact Manjula’s Mysore wants from our support to them

Footnote

Chandrika has re-utilised the money I’d given them for the auto ride. No surprise there then.

Manjula’s Memory Tree

Manjula ‘s Memory Tree was recreated for August to help commemorate what would have been her 51st Birthday.

Why a memory Tree?

Complete with our Buddhist flag.

Our memories and wishes have now flown back to the Ema, our wishing wall — set up with her help, years before she moved on.

We remember Manjula constantly in many different ways.

Ema is the wishing wall found in Japanese Temples and suggested by an earlier guest.

Managing People 1

Here’s two recent terms I’ve used to describe management ‘styles’ that may need more explanation. 

Banyan 

Meaning a manager who is so strong in imposing his or her will that nothing below can easily grow and flourish. 

This style is often seen in command and control structures or in new developments that have difficulty in moving on from the initial pioneering stage. 

The end result is limited delegation, people fearful of taking the initiative or making mistakes. It’s centralised control and reliance on one rather than the many in the team and loses the valuable diversity that is achievable through engaging all the brains in the organisation. 

Please note I’m not disrespecting the Banyan which is wonderful.

To follow next… management through whim.