Challenge and change

Or stay the same

The choice is ours, whether it’s on an individual, organisational or societal level.

Some changes come easier then others but let’s stick with the question of — should we challenge and change?

In my view there’s an unequivocal yes.

As an individual and the networks, groups or communities we form, of course we change.

What’s learning if it’s not adopting and adapting to changing situations, and developing new ways of doing things (and thinking!).

Some people and organisations will challenge change and prefer to stick with the status quo.

When that happens, look a little deeper.

What’s their motivation not to want to change? Fear? Retaining or enhancing power?

One of the most important aspects of change is personal development, it helps create who we are.

But it’s also nonsensical to suggest there shouldn’t be change in our wider groups and society

It’s critical that we innovate and adapt, developing the requisite abilities. That might be number one priority.

Well not quite.

Our actual biggest challenge is friction, and by this I mean between people, their organisations, communities, and nations.

We need to develop effective sustainable relationships and to achieve that we need to learn to be kind.

That requires us to see things from the others’ point of view, to communicate, to connect, to be flexible and adapt.

Yes… change, constantly.

Maybe we can actually reduce violent conflict …. Now that would be cool.

So we can choose to change and not be stuck …

… in what previous generations have handed down to us

NOR

…. in our personal experiences and traumas

We can shift.

Simple eh?

Admittedly. It’s not straightforward … No it’s our life long challenge, to choose who we want to be and hopefully find happiness and contentment.

But if we’re not conscious and try we might just lose this lifelong opportunity.

There’s books I’d recommend, in Manjula’s library that help cover this.

So when we next hear someone rejecting change, said in so many ways: ‘that’s not our tradition’, ‘that’s how we do it here’, ‘it’s our culture’ we can’t, etc etc then it’s for the WPB

Ok, that might be a bit harsh, at least dive into more reflection and re-evaluation.

– Are our ways of thinking and doing fit for purpose anymore?

– Is it appropriate in this day and age?

Now that’s maybe opened a reactionary can-of-worms.

The following books are in Manjula’s library.

You might also want to check Vedanta! Perhaps recommend a book for the library.

Precious moments

After watching Ina’s family’s celebration of her life, (funeral).

I’m reminded to try and always leave meeting someone with warmth and care as it might be the last time we see them. I did with Ina but still need reminding to always be attentive, kind and share compassion.

That’ll do nicely, Lucie appreciates her comforting gift (having taken over the downstairs floor) and can pretend she’s the queen, when the cat’s not around.
The two big buddies. Manjula and Ina who just might already be having a gas, a great time together, as souls who will reconnect.

There’s more about Ina here

Each year we will do Puja for MAnjula and Ina to help their spirits ‘on the way’ to their new lives.

Manjula and Ina

Manjula and Lucie (our dog) Welcoming Ina to our home.

After that first visit she would field questions from our guests who came to share our home — Mysore Bed and Breakfast– were we a couple?

Ina acknowledged before us that we’d fallen in love.

Ina came every year (except during the pandemic) from that first visit, for a total of ten years. She became a very close friend of my wife Manjula and a great support to me helping me grieve Manjula. She was our favourite and most regular guest, here Ina is promoting us with the new mug and proving she became an essential part of the team (furniture!).

The photos are from our last year with Manjula visiting the local Tibetan settlement and Somnathpur Temple. Ina, Manjula, Willan (our workawayer in 2018) and myself, Stephen

I was their sometime chauffeur

Together, celebrating Manjula’s last birthday in 2018

There’s more here including Ina’s visit a month ago

We will miss Ina, a wonderful caring character, who has become part of our life, here in Mysore. After Manjula died she often referred to her as a Lotus who had survived and thrived through the mud. They both radiated their goodness as sisters and had a wicked sense of humour

Ina lit a candle for her and what we’ll do each year is a Puja for both Manjula and Ina to help their spirits find their new home.

Just as we recently did for Manjula

We look forward to meeting again

Stephen

The sweet-ish sisters ..

… Leave for two nights with Kaveri’s mum.

It’s been the usual joy having them here for the week.

There’s one more before they return to school and college.

The T-shirt was left as a gift by a recent guest but nicely sums up the impact Manjula’s Mysore wants from our support to them

Footnote

Chandrika has re-utilised the money I’d given them for the auto ride. No surprise there then.

Manjula’s Memory Tree

Manjula ‘s Memory Tree was recreated for August to help commemorate what would have been her 51st Birthday.

Why a memory Tree?

Complete with our Buddhist flag.

Our memories and wishes have now flown back to the Ema, our wishing wall — set up with her help, years before she moved on.

We remember Manjula constantly in many different ways.

Ema is the wishing wall found in Japanese Temples and suggested by an earlier guest.

Managing People 1

Here’s two recent terms I’ve used to describe management ‘styles’ that may need more explanation. 

Banyan 

Meaning a manager who is so strong in imposing his or her will that nothing below can easily grow and flourish. 

This style is often seen in command and control structures or in new developments that have difficulty in moving on from the initial pioneering stage. 

The end result is limited delegation, people fearful of taking the initiative or making mistakes. It’s centralised control and reliance on one rather than the many in the team and loses the valuable diversity that is achievable through engaging all the brains in the organisation. 

Please note I’m not disrespecting the Banyan which is wonderful.

To follow next… management through whim. 

Eight Auspicious Symbols:

Here is the English translation of the Tibetan text , describing the Eight Auspicious Symbols:

  1. The Wheel: Symbolizes the teaching of the Dharma (the Three Baskets) and the transmission of the Three Trainings to disciples.
  2. The Parasol: Represents the dispelling of the heat of suffering and afflictions for sentient beings.
  3. The Victory Banner: Symbolizes the defeat of Mara and non-Buddhist opponents, and the complete perfection of the major and minor marks of enlightenment.
  4. The Endless Knot: Represents the complete perfection of all qualities and the possession of the five wisdoms.
  5. The Right-Turning Conch Shell: Symbolizes the melodious sound of the Buddha’s speech proclaiming the Dharma.
  6. The Vase: Represents being completely filled with the essence of good qualities and serving as a support for pure merit.
  7. The Lotus: Symbolizes being in the world but uncontaminated by it, untainted by the impurities of karma and afflictions.
  8. The Golden Fish: Represents the abandonment of all faults and obstacles.

The text also mentions a quote from the Mahayana sutra called “The Stacked Auspicious Ones,” which describes how these eight symbols relate to different parts of the Buddha’s body and qualities. It concludes with an aspiration for auspiciousness and well-being through these symbols.

Dorjee visited us in Mysore with a gift of a Buddhist flag and helped us better understand the auspicious symbols

The passage notes that while there are more detailed explanations and interpretations of these symbols available, this brief description should suffice as an introduction to their meanings.

Bylakuppe one

We visited Bylakuppe, the largest Tibetan settlement in India.

Our good friend and monk Dorjee and his sponsor for many years Ina helped us understand more.

We learned so much about the Dalai Lama escaping from the Chinese invasion of Tibet and the subsequent oppression

Thank you to Kaveri, Radhika, Dorjee, Ina, Sowbaghya, John, Maria.

We had a lovely day.

Happy Birthday.

I’m in the park to wish Manjula happy birthday and hang out with billet-Doux, butterflies (messengers from Madam) and too many mosquitoes!

Here’s the lovely video created by Faizan through which many old and new friends have met Manjula.

My ulterior motive on being here was to be security for the flowers and stop people stealing them.

I failed

But it can’t affect our celebration of her wonderfulness.

As I completed a video call to my son Oliver in Vancouver, —and realised I was due back to make breakfast—three sets of neighbours walking in the park saw Manjula’s poster and wanted to know her story. I’d never met them before a mom her son , another young woman and an elder.

We all shared smiles and joy.

What’s to talk about?

Whatever you want.

Reflective space is Our monthly meeting of young adults to discuss anything of interest.

What a wonderful group of people, with a wide range of experience and interests.

Our special guest was Sarvesh visiting from Australia.

We discussed education, medicine, culture and much more.

We ‘d reconvened after a gap of two months due to me being pre-occupied with school summer holiday and my own holiday to Europe.

Next month our special guest is Maria. We want find out about her and what she does so we expect it will cover women’s empowerment and support for children, as she has experience in those fields.

Meetings will now be held each month.

If you want to join a future meeting write to Stephen at tours@mycycle.co