Tag: wedding

Who adopted who?

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… or who’s the boss? Well nobody really.

I refer to how kaveri (age 11) who in a little over three years has matured mentally, physically and socially. It is, of course, a very significant stage in life.

Kaveri (age 11) today with her mum Chandrika at a wedding of a member of the extended family in the village

As you can see she now almost as tall as her mum (age 29?).

I’m proud of her and the little help I’ve been able to be.

Early days, just a little girl, shortly before her eighth birthday.

On reflection, she’s always been quite ‘together’ for her age.

Off to school with her auntie (aka sister)

She’s just about to start her third school since I’ve known her. I’ve promised that Manjula’s Mysore will continue to support her education up to university and maybe beyond.

…

Kaveri, Lucie and I

I’m — as Kaveri puts it — one of her nine mums.

Connecting communities.

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Hand delivered invite, complete with rice

The wedding ceremony means so much.

On the surface it’s bringing two people together. But it’s the joining of two families.

It’s also an opportunity to dress up, reconnect with family and friends, realise how we’ve all grown.

The bride arrives

Checking him out in the mirror.
Before the big reveal.

We’re part of the family as many of the grandsons of our house owner and extended family have lived on our roof

Anjali gets married.

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Since Punith introduced us I’ve realised how much Anjali is a real star

She got married today. Every wedding is same but different, down to caste, experience, attitude and get-on-ableness of the generations, so it’s not unlike absolutely everything else in consistently inconsistent India.

Even in the midst of planning a wedding and balancing the interests/preferences of in and out laws Anjali was instrumental in making our creativity day for the children at Kaliyuvamane.

Thoughtful dad.

There was a great mix of people and more recently found great friends.

They were obviously also having fun

Guess which twit forgot to put his kurta on?

Congratulations to Anjali Sakleshpur and Veethahavya Kootanoor Sheshadrivasan

The days after, three years ago

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Doing my duty…

When one suffers such loss that forms a trauma and it’s aftermath, it’s an extra challenge to focus on the positive.

It’s especially difficult at anniversary time. There’s a preoccupation with the loss, the guilt, a blaming.

In this month there’s also helpful reminders of good, our wedding ceremonies.

Some might wonder why I follow so ‘religiously’ the traditions. It’s simply my love and devotion for MAnjula.

I always tried my best to do what she wanted
And she was bossy

The day afterwards brings out memories of when she was laid to rest on her bed, outside our house with the tell tale symbols of the smouldering wood informing the neighbourhood what was happening. Next we’d go to the industrial shed-oven aka crematorium and before that a puja by the side led by Manjula’s brother.

A kindly neighbour brought Bhagavad Gita to help emphasise our duty not to become too attached to our loved ones and to help their soul spirit move onto another body.

Here’s me doing precisely that…..

Do follow the link and check the video at the end where I’m at one of the most significant places on Srirangaptnam; visited on every cycle tour over the past ten years.

I was so lucky

This week

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March is a month of significant memories.

Always Together

It began with our wedding at the city corporation, followed a few days later with a celebration on Srirangaptnam.

Two years running she was admitted to intensive care and sadly and devastatingly died three years ago on the 23rd.

We do Pooja on that anniversary, help her on her way and remember fantastic times with a wonderful woman.

Here’s a video memory created by our good friend Tom, Manjula showing one of her many skills and most importantly her kindness of giving.

Wedding part two

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The morning after the reception.

Timings are followed exactly (9.00 to 9.30 am) unlike the night before when things hadn’t started almost two hours after the advertised time.

The knot is tied and I’ve poured milk, gently thrown rice and had tiffin.

Behind the scenes in the choultry or wedding hall is the sort of place where Manjula started working.

The bride’s proud father

Weddings, I’ve seen a few.

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Wonderful decoration at Lakshmi’s parent’s house next door and after twelve years living here I still forget and turn up on time. Where is everyone?
The tying of the knot is actually tomorrow. This is the reception

Thankfully it’s filling out and I recognise a couple of people, so correct day and place.

I’m in a new phase in addition to visiting places where I’ve already been with Manjula, like many of the central London attractions, I now find myself wishing she was with me in new situations.

Well she is !
Ripples of excitement as people are recognised and celebrated.

These are critical events in connecting community.

It’s getting late and nothings happened yet. I haven’t planned this properly and should have eaten. I might beat a hasty retreat.

I’ll be back in the morning.

Tomorrow Lakshmi and Sunil tie the knot. Today at reception, only soft drinks, it’s gifts and photos.

Is there a problem?

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Is there ever not a problem? But they’re always solvable in India.

This is the corporation office of the non removable assets, meaning where they exchange contracts for land, buildings etc.

In our case, we’re the immovable objects getting married.

These photos have just been found and shared by our good friend Tanuja.

I can’t remember what this was about probably just checking details before the critical point where we sign and are officially joined in matrimony.

The whole set up was confusing and it was difficult to know at what precise moment we actually got married. Maybe this was it.

Look out for the full story next year.

It’s three years today….

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Manjula and I had our first wedding, the official one in the government office where they exchange contracts on immovable objects. We are undoubtedly immovable objects.

I was age 60 before I got married so there was a big build up and it took some time to move in that direction.

Manjula signed so many documents after we met: applications for passport, visas, accounts, tax returns, becoming a Director of the company, but this was the most important.
I’ve got the photo albums out, here at home.

three days later we celebrated and married again in a field