Sowbaghya did a wonderful job helping us remember MAnjula with assistance from Satish and Tanuja and guests, all friends of MAnjula.
Finally providing food on the roof for the crows who just might be Manjula’s soul looking for food on her journey to finding a new body.
We need to cover all bases, in case she hadn’t found a new home, as yet.
Latest books at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
About being good, positive views on humanity.
Exactly what MAnjula and her kind would appreciate. I’d have to read it out mind. 🤭
Also available at Silverfish Books in Mysore.
Looking on the bright side.
Manjula is my smiling kindness guru.
This morning I waved and gave a free smile to every cyclist. It’s a happy thing to do and helps connect us at this distant time.
I follow her and try spread her smile
……
At times I’ve slipped and realise I’ve adopted a local approach of: ‘It’s good enough’ and ‘it’ll do’, but it wasn’t and it didn’t do. That’s when the dark cloud engulfs me with sadness instead of just following me around. But this morning I was in the positive happy frame of mind.
…
What we give out is returned we just don’t know when, where and how.
My guru expects me to see and be the positive. I’m slowly learning.
Ripple effect
Sowbhagya (SB) has had a lot to deal with because of the situation at our house and been in quarantine with a big fat sticker on her door announcing to the world. Her neighbours have been ugly and unsupportive. She challenged her neighbours when they were claiming she was positive and announcing it on a Facebook page. A policeman was a great help.. The bright side is that she now feels strengthened and some of it comes from working here. Manjula’s kind, positive and continues to give.
Unfortunately it has also affected her father whose roadside food business has suffered.
It brings it home to me, how much we need to be aware of how our actions affect others, try on their ‘coat’ to better understand things from their point of view. Unfortunately, too often we don’t try or care.
Look on the bright side of life is a wonderful song from this film.
It’s occurred to me today that there were three layers of love, with ‘you-know-who.’
The first was when we were ‘falling-in-love’.
The second was when our relationship was recognised by us and our guests. (Some noticed before us)
The third layer was after she slipped through my clumsy fingers and left for her new life.
Over time I get to know her better and love her more.
….
our big photo album
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with thanks to Gabriel
From a few months ago….
As I wait for today’s cycle guests. I’m chewing the cud with one of my Ganjam friends who is aged around 11, she’s a neighbour of Satish’s where I store my cycles. We’re wondering why in India, most girls stop cycling when they become women. There are plenty of positive women role models cycling around the world and of course on our MyCycle tours. There were two from U.K. and Australia yesterday, two from Germany and Switzerland today and some very slightly older women from the UK and Australia tomorrow. Well done to them for setting a superb example! its really noticed by the girls as we cycle around.
But it’s VERY rare (exceptions above, prove the rule!) to see Indian women cycling and when we do see it, its clearly a change in society that comes from the growing middle class. That’s of course superb but we don’t see it often enough. Why?
Yes, why do Indian girls tend to stop cycling when they become women? Another conversation might help provide some insight.
Manjula tells me that part of the attractiveness of the opposite sex, (in addition to the usual rigours of determining suitability for an arranged marriage: caste, wealth, stars, parent’s occupation and much much more), there are certain physical characteristics that are looked for. (This doesn’t of course mean it applies across India’s diverse groups!) You know the sort of thing. Small feet for women etc. Well a novel one she’s just told me relates to foot arch. Men’s arch needs to be clear and distinct, women’s feet should be flat! really? its a patriarchal minefield.
My point is, this preoccupation with attractiveness and that includes all sorts of pressure to be perceived as ‘normal’ includes the barrier, the challenge, the tradition, the clear message that cycling when a girl gets older, makes her less attractive or desirable as a poteniutal bride.
Another friend of mine, who will remain anonymous, as a young women, did some really innovative community projects, in terms of helping poor families. When it came time to look for a husband she had to ditch that work and commitment and hand over to others, to ensure she was able to find a husband!! Otherwise, she might be seen as less desirable with all that baggage!
So likewise, I reckon a woman’s desirability, eligibility, acceptability vis-a-vis marriage is enhanced if she DOESN’T cycle! What a shame! Its so the wrong way round.
Now I’m all for sensitivity to cultural difference, I pride myself on having designed and created many projects in tune and partnership with the communities they served BUT that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be critical of tradition, there are also many things that should change. Patriarchy and oppressing the ladies to conform is one of them. Here’s to the different approach for these future women!
but I do realise that there is such a long way to go…
To be fair its an intenational challenge, women around the world face barriers to taking up or maintaining cycling. A previous guest and our good friend Tiffany Lam has written on this very subject, please follow the link here
to find out more.
Strength to the girls. (and women)… keep on cycling!
Me and MYCycle 