Pitru Paksha arrives

The team puts it all together….

Photos and flowers all lined up …

Manjula’s image complete with Mangal Sutra (wedding necklace) and anklet,

Lucie with collar

and Ina with Momo.

Favourite sweets, jewels, nuts, crunchie, alcohol (shh), clothing, fruits,

Biscuits for Lucie (the shop insisted sugarless is best, let’s not get into the detail that it’s for her spirit), Momo for Ina (her favourite, she has great Tibetan links)

All make their appearance …

But where’s lunch?

Next

Sowbaghya has cooked it, Satish, serves it out. It’ll not be for the crows (sometimes food is placed on the roof or beside the river for the crows to eat ) as they represent the soul of the ‘departed’.

Time for the idler to get dressed in his wedding outfit.

We help their spirits on their journey to whatever’s next.

Stephen.
Satish
Sowbhagya
Vasanth

We then leave the house for their spirits to visit, eat and drink, making lots of noise, as we return, so they know to leave and not get caught out.

Only then can we eat.

I’ve told MAnjula we’re moving to a new house. She’ll be with us.

Factoid

It’s now over six years that Manjula continued her spiritual journey. Each year on her birthday and death anniversary we do puja to help her on her way.

From this year we’ve decided to honour all our departed family members on Pitra Paksha, when everyone does the same.

We approach Manjula’s birthday

In August Manjula would have been 52.

We have traditions in the U.K. to commemorate and recognise significant people’s contribution by installing a blue plaque on the house where they lived

Like this one ….

So we just had to get one for MAnjula

Sarvesh, and Stephen the Directors of Manjula’s Mysore with Kaveri who we sponsor and support.

MAnjula remains in our home in Mysore in so many ways, this seemed like a fitting tribute to our precious …

Kaveri and her mum Chandrika unveiling Manjula’s blue plaque (again)
In recognition of her tolerance of the Yindian and her sharing her love through her beauty, infectious smile and attentive presence.

We love and miss you MAnjula. You’re here in our hearts and guide us in everything we do.

Manjula was our sunshine and a …

With Teeny feet

We’ll do more to remember her on her happy birthday.

Revealing

What an interesting couple.

Part two with Julia and Tom

Not only cyclists but tri-athletes— so serious that they do ‘iron-man’ , quick cycles ( 40k!) and runs in the morning — It tired me out just hearing about it.

After their looooong cycle ride across Asia and Europe peddled back to England found a new place in Yorkshire.

They’ve created a lovely home in their Sheffield terrace almost identical to the house Tricia and I shared with her cousin and boyfriend (bit of a squeeze). In the mid 70s

Then they kindly tidied me up a bit

Plus

They reflect something that MAnjula taught me. For a successful sustainable living relationship, to be present and attentive

Spot on.

Thanks guys for a great visit and my sorely needed trim.

Manjula would approve.

Remembering MAnjula

The house hosts her presence in every room (and outside).

Sowbaghya and I have kept the Bed and Breakfast as she envisioned it and even have a library named after her.

Our children’s and education section.

Our guests love meeting her. she even gets mentioned in our guest book

images of MAnjula and Lucie decorating the fan switch!!

At least once a year I bring out this image in memory of my beautiful MAnjula. It’s just for a few days. I started by cycling her around Mysore, at other times she’ll be in the memorial garden we created for her in the park or resting in our drive. Otherwise she’s stored in the Garage.

Unfortunately, you can’t please all the people all time. Some people you never can.

My insensitive neighbour complained that the image of MAnjula was outside and should be indoors. It’s a Hindu rule. I know there’s no such rule or if there is it’s often not followed. People remember their loved ones with posters around the streets or images in the newspaper.

He represents the brahminical elitism that can sometimes rear its ugly head (read your ‘games people play’). He’s even complained about the boys and girls sitting on the park benches that I’ve installed. It’s as if the Firangi (foreigner) is responsible for people’s behaviour. His prejudices are mildly entertaining but we generally ignore him.

PS

As AI tells us on the internet

The saying “Guest is God” (Atithi Devo Bhava in Sanskrit) is a core principle in Indian culture, emphasizing the importance of hospitality and treating guests with respect. While the saying is rooted in tradition and spiritual significance, the reality is that it’s not always a practical or realistic expectation, especially in modern life

You could say that ….

Love

One of the first pictures Kaveri (aged eight) created after she came to the house and felt MAnjula’s love

Marginalian

Comes up trumps again with great literary, political and philosophical connections.

I like her quote from Simone de Beauvoir

What then is love? Not much, not much; I come back to this idea. Sensitivity, imagination, fatigue, and this effort to depend on another; the taste for the mystery of the other and the need to admire… What is worthwhile, is friendship… this profound mutual confidence between [two people], and this joy of knowing that the other exists.

“The ancient Greeks, in their pioneering effort to order the chaos of the cosmos, neatly taxonomized them into filial love (the kind we feel for siblings, children, parents, and friends), eros (the love of lovers), and agape(the deepest, purest, most impersonal and spiritual love).”

I decided that we would continue Manjula’s sunshine goodness, sharing her love, through events and activities for young people.

The most obvious example is our continuing support for Kaveri.

Kaveri’s most recent art from this weeks summer camp
She also leaves me little messages.

Slow realisation

Sun 26 Jan 

I get home to less.

An abnormal day, amongst the multitude of such days.

But today another family member departed 

As I returned home I slowly realised Lucie would not be here to greet me. 

Sowbaghya had earlier invited our team to pay their respects and fill the house with love, as Lucie began to reach her  last legs. This was, while I was being an attentive ‘parent’ to Kaveri at her school. 

That’s two. 

I’m missing too much …

… there’s a gap which far exceeds their size. Their imprint is ginormous

How people find us

Even in our first year we were no 1 in Mysore on Trip Advisor but there were no contact details. Guests couldn’t quite believe it

As they realised, I’m Yindian, (Indian by marriage, Yorkshire by birth) the Yorkshire bit means I’ll not spend money unnecessarily. (that’s one way of putting it)..

We’d also joke that we only wanted guests that would put the effort in and find us!!

Our Facebook entries also meant we were on Google. All that helped.

AirBnB was our other big thing. We’re still on it but sometimes forget as most guests come as returners, byword of mouth or recommendations.

Just to prove it, here’s some of the reviews from our lovely AirBnB guests.

We can assure you, that we don’t chop people’s heads off

Yours, Alice

Precious moments

After watching Ina’s family’s celebration of her life, (funeral).

I’m reminded to try and always leave meeting someone with warmth and care as it might be the last time we see them. I did with Ina but still need reminding to always be attentive, kind and share compassion.

That’ll do nicely, Lucie appreciates her comforting gift (having taken over the downstairs floor) and can pretend she’s the queen, when the cat’s not around.
The two big buddies. Manjula and Ina who just might already be having a gas, a great time together, as souls who will reconnect.

There’s more about Ina here

Each year we will do Puja for MAnjula and Ina to help their spirits ‘on the way’ to their new lives.

Let them eat cake

The third cake saw the gang celebrating Manjula’s birthday at a Mysore micro brewery.

Maria can’t believe we’ve devoured so much cake.

We continue to celebrate Manjula’s birthday for a whole week and onwards.

and recognise our support for our Tibetan friends through decorating our house