Tag: deference

Games people play

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I like finding similarities that help us find bridge points and make connections.

I’m often sharing experiences of similarity to show how connected we really are… that especially important in our global political environment.

To guests and the young people who’ve joined Manjula’s Mysore’s network I often give this example.

When I meet a new English person they’ll try and figure out where in England I’m from. My accent will easily show I’m from the north of England.

After a little more dialogue they’ll probably hone in on Yorkshire county rather than Lancashire.

Certain words I might use would indicate I’m from a working class background.

I don’t mind that —- fact is,—I’ve crossed many boundaries in my life. A particular help has been going to university, the first in my family.

In India people think class is an insurmountable experience. In my case it definitely wasn’t. In fact I think that, being middle class from a working class background is an advantage.

People I’ve talked to, think class is somehow like caste. I don’t think that’s true at all.

Caste seems so prevalent in Indian life and potentially much more damaging to individuals and society overall.

I think there’s an added issue. There’s a joke that people from north England don’t ‘do’ deference. I think that’s quite accurate

I like to think of myself as egalitarian. Don’t misunderstand — I have my prejudices and being aware of them is a critical step in dealing with it — leading to some personal change.

..

I’ve realised one of the additional problems that colonialisation by the British has created for India.

Distraction from other important battles.

It’s the colonialists to blame for diverting the community’s political energies. Unlike in Europe in the 19th and early 20th centuries where the social structure was beginning to be challenged — in India the energies were used necessarily to throw off the outsiders. They missed the opportunity to use that time and people power to throw out the traditions. I hope that the growth of the middle classes, the lower castes using their muscle we might see a correction and move away from the feudal.

Let’s see.

Games people play.

SFLeave a comment

Annoying things in India

I often explain on a cycle tour how much I love India, at something like eighty percent. I have after all chosen to adopt India as my home and married a beautiful Indian woman. However there is fifteen percent I can take or leave and maybe five percent that’s ugly that, I hate. That last bit includes the violence and aggression but also milder forms of behaviour. Examples of this might be Babu’s giving you the run-a-round or businesses not understanding customer care.

In my view this results from the extreme hierarchy and the deference expected of people. It’s reinforced in the home, at school or college and at work. Do what you’re told and don’t question things. Know your place and don’t challenge the way things are, seems to relate to caste.

Even in the simplest of situations it feels like your treated like a child.

Today was a case in point. It might seem a simple thing, and insignificant but I think its part of that overall problem. I’ve investigated this and now realise all the mobile phone companies are the same.

I’m at the Airtel shop, I’ve gone as my phone is not working, I’m told that the SIM card was faulty and needed replacing. For them to issue me with a replacement I need ID. I have a copy of my passport on the iPhone and after some kerfuffle get a print out. Sorry sir we need to see the original hard copy.

I’ve been a customer for maybe over 7 years. It was the number used by Manjula so is very significant and sentimental. I’ve provided my ID to set up my account, it’s on their system THEY KNOW WHO I AM but still they require an established customer to prove who they are but it MUST be the actual document. Just to get a replacement SIM card for the faulty one. This will be my fourth trip to the Airtel shop. Inconvenience sir, no problem.

I object to the employees but they treat us as children because that’s how they’re treated by their managers. Who can blame them? Employees are expected do as they’re told and not question things. Treat people like children, they’ll behave like children and not take responsibility.

For years I’ve delivered workshops in London and a roadshow for TATA that’s about empowering employees to make decisions to be able to innovate, be creative and focus on creating a quality customer experience.

That’s not valued here and is nigh on impossible to create in a system that prioritises deference, doing as you’re told and not in any way thinking for yourself.

Sad.

My tolerance levels are diminished since Manjula died. She’d just laugh at me.

 

UPDATE

I went back to the Airtel shop with my ID card, fully annoyed but relatively calm. The new SIM was issued and installed by me later that day. Just don’t ask about the need to install it in a simple-smart phone before finally installing it in a smart-smart phone. BUT it still didn’t work so on my 5th trip back to the Airtel shop they’ve admitted that the SIM card and the rigmarole in visits 3 and 4 we’re unnecessary. I’m told it will be working by tonight. What lessons I can take from all this, I’ve no idea and I’ve lost the will to live.