The illusion of control.

I expect I’m doing my usual and stating the bleeding obvious. 

In this unwelcome necessary extraordinary extended period of reflection and potential growth, I realise the greatest challenge. 

Yes it’s about loss and grief, goes without saying, I suppose. 

There’s been many but especially three (many more of course but three for listing here) . Losing someone through splitting up with a lover, second losing Manjula when she died.  Now I’d count my tonic to deal with the grief as the third. It’s not loss but deep down it’s the equivalent. 

So why do I put them together? 

They represent times when I felt unable to do anything … actually experiencing powerlessness, learning lack of control in some situations.

That realisation comes … After a lifetime of reinforced messages that it’s up to us, we’re masters of our own destiny and in control. 

The third example is having the wherewithal to support and guide Kaveri but to realise how handicapped I am in the face of a completely dysfunctional family who don’t understand or care. 

Well done, Farrell — that’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into (only yesterday, Kaveri was asking about Laurel and Hardy) — But of course it’s about regaining one’s equilibrium, being positive and constructive, working out the way that works and the benefit I can gain from another of life’s lessons. 

So in a different way, it does depend on how we take it and manage the situation — critically it’s in the eyes of the beholder—and mostly about our relationships. 

So as I said bleeding obvious. 

I send this to you because you might not believe it but you are very important 

As Kaveri knows, BK