I wasn’t feeling well this week and so Kaveri wrote me a note
How kind and thoughtful is that?
… and then I stumbled across this study which reaffirmed what we know —- how relationships are critical to a happy sustainable, satisfying life.
Here’s my girls …
My Indian wife and daughter.
Farrell Factoid Footnote
Kaveri isn’t actually my daughter but it’s as if I’ve ‘adopted’ her and support her on behalf of my beautiful caring compassionate wife
Absolutely
Democracy must move beyond a representation model to one where everyone is actively engaged. That’s our ‘work’ of the future.
Unfortunately all our societal systems and social structures are designed to maintain our status quo.
That is a life with stratified levels of inequality and exclusion and the mindsets resulting in mental and physical restraint that disempowers and keeps us ‘in our place.’
Were organised by Manjula’s Mysore at Kaliyuvamane, the ‘open’ school that Kaveri attends in Mysore and separately for an NGO working with visually impaired young women.
Why?
… because it’s an ‘alternative’ approach we think reflects our way of thinking and that of the school.
Betty Edward’s writer of ‘Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain’ puts it well…
“throughout many cultures … there is much talk of creativity and our need for innovation and invention. “ …. Yet …
“our education system seems bent on eliminating every last bit of creative perceptual training of the right side of the brain, while overemphasising the skills best accomplished by the left side of the brain: memorising dates, data, theorems, and events with the goal of passing standardised tests.”
Edwards believes that “with careful teaching transfer, drawing and reading together can educate both halves of the brain.”
Indeed the management guru Tom Peters declared innovation as the no 1 competency for successful, thriving organisations. That was also reflected in the work of John W Gardner author of ‘excellence’ and ‘self-renewal: the individual and the innovative society’
As I look into this more, I realise that creativity helps us develop and use the right side of the brain to enhance our perception and to bring meaning into our increasingly complex worlds.
It’s therefore no accident that we’ve promoted “two vital global skills: reading and drawing.”
I hope MAnjula was happy and proud that in her memory we’ve tried to better equip young people for the challenges they’ll face, bringer greater equilibrium and help them find their passion.
Revealing possibilities
Broadening Horizons
Passing through Barriers
Help girls (and boys) prepare for adult life by introducing yourself and sharing your insights.
Manjula’s Mysore is inviting its guests and members of its monthly meeting: ‘reflective space’ to create a short Introductory video — talking to camera — to reveal what’s possible.
I often use the story of Ganesh and his brother racing each other to reveal to young people that we live in many different worlds — with our immediate family, at home, with friends, at work, our extended family, while travelling.
It’s important to recognise and value difference reflected in those different worlds. That helps us to realise what wide variety of opportunities exist for us.
Many young people don’t understand how different their lives could be.
If we know more, we’re more enlightened and can better choose the life we wish to have, and find what suits us best.
Breaking the crate.
It might mean challenging the status quo and breaking away from what’s traditionally expected of us.
Sharing examples gives others strength.
This idea came from how much Kaveri learned about other people’s worlds by meeting guests of all ages — from India and around the world—- at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
I hope this helps broaden her horizons and seize opportunities
Manjula realised — that even with a limited education, from a poor background having experienced so many difficult challenges throughout her life — she could create a wonderful home, share it with people from around the world, become a company director, manage our business and teach a Firangi a thing or two!! (Many things actually)
Manjula continues to give.
Look at what she had to put up with …
with our guests — again and again 🤔🤭 — helps me realise how fortunate I am.
After watching Ina’s family’s celebration of her life, (funeral).
I’m reminded to try and always leave meeting someone with warmth and care as it might be the last time we see them. I did with Ina but still need reminding to always be attentive, kind and share compassion.
There’s more about Ina here
Each year we will do Puja for MAnjula and Ina to help their spirits ‘on the way’ to their new lives.
The virus situation goes from bad to — we’ve got rid of it, to —- disaster.
Leaving things until the eleventh hour, no … it’s more like one moment before midnight is not a sensible policy but it’s standard practice. No lessons learned from the first wave, infrastructure collapsing, shortage of beds, no oxygen in many hospitals, exhausted staff, people confused.
Indian politicians fail their communities. They have other, presumably more important things to worry about.
Now we have a lockdown in all but name and it’s piling confusion onto inconsistency onto chaos.
Is the instruction to close most businesses for all of everyday in which case it would be a lockdown or just when there’s a curfew?
The govt diktat is totally confusing. If it’s just overnight and weekends. What’s the point it’ll have minimal effect on the virus. If it’s everyday it’s a lock down a term they don’t politically wish to use.
The police statement adds to the confusion with the statement “it will be normal from tomorrow” so there will or will not be a lockdown/curfew from tomorrow. Of course it probably means that closure of businesses will seem like normal tomorrow.
Clear as mud.
It’s the day before the non-lockdown, I’m just back from cycling, with nobody wearing masks in the villages, most wearing them back in Siddarthanagar. I passed a wedding. In a field presumably outdoors (but in tents) in response to the situation but the limit to the gathering is supposed to be 50! There’s almost that number already preparing for the event and the guests are yet to arrive.
Recently Sowbhaghya asked why a shop keeper wasn’t wearing a mask as he should be, he declared there was no coronavirus here.
The combination of poor confusing communication from authority, default to deference and the anything goes attitude of the Wild West, is part of why we’re here.
Here’s useful guardian articles summarising how we might have got into this stupid situation.
Photos and summary of the oxygen problems
There were unfulfilled plans to build more units for creating more oxygen.
So what’s the Government got to do with it?
I would be so stressed out if my poor Manjula was here and having to deal with this, now that’s a weird sense of relief. What a topsy turvy world.
are we inherently mean and selfish?
I don’t believe we are. Its an age old argument reflected in the views of Hobbes and Rousseau.
it goes something like this…
Left to our own devices:
A – humans will be in conflict, a sort of dog-eat-dog approach to life and fight for themselves or me and mine, OR;
B -they will care, show compassion and work cooperatively.
It’s simplified but bear with me … Which do you think is most accurate?
I’m reading humankind – a hopeful history, he challenges the theories that suggest we are individualistic when pushed into a corner and argues that we’re more likely to work together and help each other.
Sound Utopian?
He debunks the dominant stories, the research, established theories and especially what we hear through the media, reinforced through word of mouth that we default to ‘I’. His view is that we default to ‘we.’ ie we care rather than fight.
We follow what we’re told and learned to accept, rather than think for ourselves.
Here’s one example:
William Golding wrote a fictitious story : “Lord of the Flies’ about young boys shipwrecked on a deserted island and how they behaved. What happened? As you might expect, they fought for themselves ganging up against each other. The result was mayhem leading to death.
This has profound implications.
By contrast, Bregman discovered a true story of shipwrecked boys. The result, was the opposite, as they co-operated and worked together to be able to survive.
Which story had you heard?
Most of my day to day experiences in life demonstrate people think about me and mine rather than showing care for another but it doesn’t have to be that way. Manjula (OK, I’m biased) was an exceptional example who throughout her life was faced with tricky uncaring people being selfish and antagonistic but she never let it stop her caring for and loving others. She was inherently kind.
I think much of our problems in society and the damage we do to each other and the planet is because of this mistaken belief and because our systems reinforce particular ways. These allow the powerful to dominate and keep their unfair share. So this way of thinking benefits some people more than others and that’s why it continues. It’s like ‘Lord of the Flies’ and this is maybe why we’re in the mess we’re in.
I believe it was Malcom X that raised the question: What’s the difference between Illness and Wellness?
It’s I and We.
Cool eh?
This situation is something of an analogy.
Manjula was the kindest person I’ve probably ever met yet she’d be let down badly by people throughout her life.
I also try to be kind and considerate and I’m beginning to realise it doesn’t work well when others are insensitive, thoughtless, can’t appreciate the ‘other’ and are ultimately unkind. I know, I know I’m a naive 63 year old.
I’m now isolated, in quarantine at home, the street is blocked by fencing on either side of my house, the washing machine is disconnected, I’m unable to shop. Lucie is confused and I can’t walk her. I’m disrupted.
Sowbhagya who works for me is also in a difficult situation quarantined with a sticker on her door confined to a postage stamp house separated from her son.
On the positive side I am in a comfortable home, received home deliveries, stocked up the freezer, Lucie is a street girl and can figure things out. I am extremely fortunate, there are people in terrible situations and have been for months. I should complain less and be sensitive to their situation.
This situation is however completely unnecessary and could have been avoided with a little thought and care.
Two weeks ago the owner asked if they could use the downstairs house for a couple of months. I readily agreed as we have no guests in the current situation. I use it but can manage. There’s one of me and counting the ground and first floor house it’s four bedrooms, library, two lounges you know the sort of thing. Help others, share it out.
The five members of family: grandparents, parents and daughter were living in an apartment in Bangalore and were concerned about the increase in the spread of the virus. At least one of them has underlying health conditions, and the elderly are from a vulnerable group. Once we discussed a few conditions primarily about looking after my stuff and complications about shifting the washing machine plus getting confirmation this was a temporary arrangement (many of my friends were suspicious it was a con to get back the houses) but I checked that one out specifically.
It was a hard thing to do emotionally. Manjula died a year ago. This is our home. She moved and properly set up the Mysore Bed and Breakfast when we took over the downstairs house around eight years ago. But I could so I should help. They could exclusively have the downstairs house with me and Lucie upstairs, separate entrances etc.
They moved in ten days ago.
The adult son of the owner who I deal with now informed me after six days, he’d been tested positive for coronavirus and would go into isolation in hospital.
The rest of the family and I were tested the next day. It seems that the only one other who tested positive was his daughter and she’s now with him in hospital.
Of course it’s just one of those things we have to deal with the best we can, everyone around the world has the same challenges. However, we’ve spent almost three months in lockdown being careful not to get the virus. That care paid off as we’ve had no cases in our layout Siddarthanager, until now, that is.
Now we have what seems to be a completely avoidable situation. Were they suspicious that they might be carrying the virus? Probably, otherwise, why go for a test the day after arriving?
If there was a suspicion a test should have been taken before shifting from Bangalore or gone to their isolated rural farmhouse rather than completely disrupting our lives.
It’s a practical problem but was quite an emotional pull letting them use the house. Manjula’s room was downstairs and for her last few months we created a lovely set up for her. This was her place I was letting go. I’d asked for her picture, the one on which we’d placed flowers every day for a month and then every month to be left on the wall. I discovered they’d taken it down and stuffed it in my storeroom down there. It’s now upstairs with five other pictures of her so maybe a bit over-the-top.
It’s now reflected, when I said at the beginning, kindness met by at the very least insensitivity, to me and my situation and to Manjula even after she’s gone. People don’t care for others enough.
The world is in a sorry state, we just don’t care. The virus, climate change and our responses are actually symptoms of that malaise.
It’s late at night and the page is blank so I turn to Laozi and Pooh bear.
Actually that’s not true. I turn to you…… to help me get the ball rolling, to create and share my and Manjula’s story. It’s the age old writer’s conundrum. As you see I have a pile of full notebooks but how to get the blank page filled to begin to start the actual story. Can you help?
If you know Manjula and I or even if you don’t 🙃 what’s the key ingredients of our story that might interest you or a wider audience. What are the main themes that will interest people?
Me and MYCycle 