this week we’re adjusting back to life in Mysore and welcomed our first few guests who were from the UK and India, Ani from Bylakuppe and our old friend Vinay, Manjula experiences jet lag, discovered what might be a Brexit prequel (there may have been a few) and a keen observation on differences between the India and the UK
Today’s Cycle Tour: we’re back in action
Resting
Manjula is a little rundown, which is not altogether surprising given the mammoth feat of five weeks travelling in the strange country of the UKaos, so we’ve been to the doc and she needs to take it easy and get rid of that cough!
UK and India
Abi, part Yorkshire, part English and part Indian, (what a lovely rich mix? aren’t we all?) is staying with us at the moment and is a researcher into violence against women and mental health implications in Mumbai. (I’ve so told you that we have incredibly diverse and interesting guests!) She came out with a great observation, today, it is of course, a generalisation, but it resonates for me:
at first meeting in the UK people are usually really helpful when they see someone struggling with something whether its a real emergency or just helping with a simple task. Close friends and family by comparison might be more inclined to just leave you to get on with it… not neglect, you’ll understand, but just expect you to sort things out and let them know if you really wanted help.
in India if you’re doing a job, tackling something, often someone (a stranger, or friend) in India will just watch and not get involved, intervene or help unless, of course, its a real emergency. In contrast a relative or close friend would be extremely forthcoming in offering and insisting you took a helping hand, maybe even over do it.
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the weird Englishman hoists the flag outside the manor!
Brexit a prequel
Today is independence day and we’ve celebrated it by raising the flag (I so wouldn’t do that in the UK!) and led a cycle tour of two and a bit indians. they had a chuckle about the ‘turned tables’. It occurs to me, however, that previous versions of Brexit were examples of the UK leaving other people’s countries, very often without so much as a vote involved. We celebrate 70 years of independence!
Yes, let’s give her a break….. A new visa application is IN.
She needs one, who wouldn’t, after being with Stephen for OVER six Years?! yes Six years!
We’ve been overcome with the support, since the news got out about the rejection, from our wonderful friends, many of whom are visitors to us here at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
Thank you, it means a lot to get that encouragement and emotional support. We’ve also had tons of invites for holidays elsewhere. Top of the list at the moment (from the no. of suggestions) are UK (ha ha thanks for that ), Australia, Canada, Europe (we’re voting to stay IN) and Israel.
So the thing is, the new application is submitted and we think we’re providing firm evidence on the main issue. She just wants a holiday and she really isn’t trying to slip into the country and stay there!!! She doesn’t want to move to the UK
Can you send an Email to Manjula?
Maybe emphasising something on the lines of:
how she really is Mysore Bed and Breakfast and is critical to its continuing success
how and what you enjoyed about your stay
that you’ll be back
and any other way you can demonstrate your support
Every little might help, who knows?
Manjula@mycycle.co
She has an established life here, a job, she’s critical to the BnB, we have invested in our life here with a dog, a redecorated five bedroom house, a bike, a car, a successful business, a lovely garden that’s taken an age to create, has dependents who rely on her, such as her mother and she doesn’t wish to move to the UK.
So why the photo of the Brahma Kamla flower?
These flowers are very auspices. Each flower only lasts one night. It is at it’s best at midnight and the aroma is beautifully overpowering. They are not at all easy to grow. They are therefore considered very lucky. On the past three nights we’ve had a total of fifteen, yes fifteen of these flowers. So we hope the Brahma is with-us on this next bit of the journey of: ‘The Passage from India!’
It was not an unusual type of telephone enquiry for a room at the BnB. An Indian woman travelling with her ten-year-old son required a room for the following day and for a total of four nights.
We did have a room so I offered to send details to her email address so she would know what to expect. It’s our usual practice. She explained that she would be unable to read the email [1] but she’d seen us on the net so knew what to expect. She followed up by sending a text with her name, she was a Doctor [2]
the empty bedroom
Next morning I received a phone call from her with some urgency and concern. Could I recommend the best hospital in Mysore? She’d had an accident in her car and her son was injured. They were in a country area, quite a way from Mysore. She’d dealt with his immediate needs and where they now were didn’t have the facilities to treat her son’s condition. It sounded more serious than I first thought. They would need to transfer to Mysore. I recommended the Columbia Asia Hospital.
Beyond that, it was unclear, it seemed like she was now separated from her car, it was I assumed, badly damaged.
Of course, I was shocked and concerned and willing to help wherever I could.
A little later she telephoned again. She had contacted the Mysore hospital and was making arrangements for the transfer. It was all a little hurried and she was understandably panicky and not always making a lot of sense. [3] Someone had kindly covered the bill but she needed some help, to pay him back. Her money, cards etc were left in the car or taken by someone. Her mother was to call me from North India to explain things.
Her Mum was understandably concerned and was planning to get down here from Assam. That would be no easy task. She’d been unable to pay the guy who had helped out by paying the bills, could I help?
There was a bank strike where she was and didn’t have all the details of his branch (the IFSC No) so it wasn’t possible to do a transfer via the internet. It could, however, be paid into a branch of his bank. Of course, I’d be willing to help, she’d transfer 1 lakh to my account and from it I’d pay 40,000 Rs [4] cash into this guy’s account and the rest would be available for her daughter to use for the hospital bills etc here in Mysore. All I had to do was send my bank details, for some reason she couldn’t retrieve them via my suggestion of an Email [5] so I’d send them via text/sms. Not a problem.
Her daughter calls to give me an update. She’s so apologetic for putting me through this and having to ask for my help. She’s contacted Doctor xx in Columbia Asia and they need to get her son there to see the neurologist. Getting the money quickly is critical, so they can get away.
This was clearly a middle-class professional family with exceptionally good English but one of the problems, beyond the obvious concern for her son, was not knowing the local language and being in a relatively rural area.
I receive a text from Mum, as sent from her bank [6], the cash had been transferred.
Mum calls again. The money has left her bank but it might take a couple of hours to reach my bank.
I reflect. It’s no problem for me to sort out, I’m always happy to help wherever I can, I have cash here or money in the Bank, I don’t have to wait for it to come through, I can zip over there on the scooter in no time at all.
This is all quite urgent.
Hang on a minute, though.
I have a niggling doubt.
Is this a con? I don’t want to think it is and I most definitely don’t want to let them down if it’s legitimate. They are in a potentially difficult and maybe life threatening situation.
I think it’s important that we do help people, particularly if they are in distress. It’s only human and to me an important value.
But, there were a few aspects that didn’t ring true (I’ve numbered some of them above) and if it was a scam, it was clever and sophisticated or am I just gullible? I discussed it with Chris and Eliza who are staying at the BnB. Initially, I still felt it was likely to be legitimate but the more I thought about it, the more the doubts grew.
I easily found the missing Bank (IFSC) reference number and texted to pass it on and suggested that the Mum could send the money direct to his account. If she sent me her bank details I could send back what wasn’t required here in Mysore. I was calling her bluff!
It’s now the evening and its all gone quiet. Thankfully I held off and my doubts were confirmed. There’s been no further contact and the money hasn’t appeared in the bank.
At this distance, it might seem to you that it should have been obvious. It wasn’t then but to me it does seem so now. In many ways, it was cleverly done. But the fraudsters must get results otherwise they wouldn’t try it on.
So there it is, it takes all sorts and I think it is a sad thing.
I’ve just returned from walking Lucy, the dog. Manjula the light of my life, my muse, catalyst and creator who is at the heart of my happiness here is away at the moment. She’s on a brief holiday visiting her mother. What a gap I’ve become so used to her being here to greet me when I return home… with her warm smile and little jokes. Yesterday, before leaving, she declared that there was a cockroach in my bed… ha ha… I went there, only to find she’d changed the bed. Her jokes maybe come from hanging around with guy from Yorkshire for over five years! Poor her..
You may have already come to know her, if you’re among the over 1,000 guests that have visited here at Mysore Bed and Breakfast. If so, you’ll know exactly what Im talking about in my ham fisted way. Many of you have assumed that we were more than partners in the business sense and I can reveal, its true. For some time now- Ive known that I love and cherish her dearly.
So there it is ….. announced to the world. Manjula is the love of my life.
I’ll use this record of our life here in Mysore to introduce more of this wonderful woman wherever possible using her own words.
Think of it. Moving to a new country at age 54, launching a completely new venture in a field in which I had no previous experience and all this in India which at the best of times is mildly confusing and frequently incredibly frustrating.
If I’d thought about it for too long, it may have seemed daunting.
The fact is. Work was drying up in the UK. There was a financial crisis affecting everyone and a key market for our leadership and team training, the very banks who created the crisis (and clearly needed more effective teams and leaders with a smidgeon of sense and ethics) and other businesses suddenly didn’t require our services. It was time to find new cheese and that was to be in India in 2009.
Cycle tours and a BnB were in fact on the cards but not straightaway.
I have a track record of trying out and developing new things. My careers have ranged from social and community work, varied management roles and latterly as consultant and trainer with international companies. The only leads I had were a lifelong interest in cycling, a realisation that I thrive on meeting and engaging with people and maybe, just maybe a sign of real potential in the beautiful city of Mysore. A human scale city with great traditions, lovely people and a place where people go to retire ha ha.
Above all I’d fallen in love in India, in my 20’s and from a distance. A sort of blind date. But it wasn’t for another 25 years before I’d managed to meet her and realise the love was real. Like so many others before me, I wanted to get to India as much as possible.
I had indeed dipped my toe in the water by organising some events in India in 2006 (more of which later) so I knew a little of what to expect and I already had a small set of supportive friends here in Mysore, two in particular: Vasanth and Cary in Mysore.
To tell the truth….I hadn’t realised what an absolute joy it would be setting up and running this business in India.
Brexit a prequel
Me and MYCycle 