Little rituals

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For almost 2 1/2 years I’ve received daily iPhone notifications —like the one below —reminding me to switch the water on and off. This is to pump water from the sump to the header tank and for the house to not run dry (a common system where we live). The messages were set up by Tom after we realised I needed a reminder. Without Manjula’s physical presence in the house it wouldn’t get done.

MAnjula collected coins in a make up bag. Each morning I take out ten rupees for my morning tea break while walking with Lucie. Thanks Manj.

Lucie waits patiently at the top of the stairs for me to go backwards and forwards getting ready to walk. At the last moment she peers in manjulas library as a reminder to check that I’ve bolted the balcony door.

I look in and smile at two of the many portraits of Manjula that fill the house.

Occasionally placing a T light in this wonderful engagement present brought all the way from Australia

A favourite photo, emergency escape and engagement present.

All pieces of the jigsaw of our life. The missing pieces’ essence is present in every one of them.

I’ve chosen to deal with my grief companion head-on. Others will do it differently. Who knows what’s the best way, our experiences are completely individual. The pain is there, whatever but I try to minimise the suffering.

Daily bittersweet tears

I share Manjula’s story wherever and whenever I can. In the dentists waiting room, even the treatment chair, during the morning tea break, handing out cards inviting people to appreciate our garden.

It’s important to me.

She probably thinks I’m ridiculous. 🤭

Last night was my second appearance at an open mic. MAnjula did get a mention (that’s the point) it was three intertwined love stories. But I ran out of time. The story of my life. If reincarnation and reconnecting souls is true, maybe I’ll have more time with Manjula’s sweet kind soul.

Manjula gives again.

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New roses arrival, some gifted by Manjula, for the sadly depleted garden.
While Manjula’s garden and benches hang out in the next door park.
and continue to be enjoyed by many
So that’s why the corporation often don’t place their benches in the shade? 🤭I don’t think it was a Manjula gift or maybe it was….

Things I’ve learned from Manjula

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A first cycle tour after a loooong gap and what a lovely couple Diana and Josia, from Mexico and the US respectively, currently working in Chennai.

In my attempts to be the wise owl I passed on the two key pieces of advice of the many things I’ve learned from Manjula.

Be there for your partner, we’ve heard so much about presence there’s a risk of overkill but when I read this (see below) it seemed so pertinent. Our love means we should be present for the other.

The second piece of advice is to prepare for the end. In terms of helping each other plan and as part of that decide if you want to be resuscitated. It doesn’t matter how old you are.

Article here about older people and their plans for ‘letting them die.’ How young is too young?

An insight from earlier this year.

Ganesh goes for a swim

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Preparing to take Ganesh and his mum Gowri to the river.

So where’s the Ganesh we bought last week?

  • In the Ambassador
  • Met with Satish and got the supplies

The Ganesh we first bought and fell in love with has been added to the extensive home collection.

Naveen’s very first time, didn’t he do well?
Can I come too?
Each year we usually bring guests to do the honours. Last year it was the old man, the year before we didn’t do the puja at all, as Manjula had left us.

Here’s more details from five years ago

We’re big on Ganesh throughout the year and found a workshop carving wooden statues from three years ago.

Age showing through increasing inability.

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Who’s he boring now, as well as MAnjula?
Big announcement.

The old man has managed to send money from his bank account to pay for a book by something called UPI should I be proud or ashamed?

Maybe the shave helped.

It’s taken ages and I mean months to work it out. I think I need a lie down before I advance to QR Code.

It’s that time of year

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The big fella is out and about with his mum Gowrie

Later in the week we’ll do the usual puja and a few days later immerse him in the river Kaveri.

I am getting a bit attached although we do already have at least five Ganesh’s in the house plus the two we’re looking after for Steven Heath.