a man, his dog a girl and a tree

December 1, 2024December 1, 2024 SFLeave a comment

Yesterday evening as I was waiting outside a shop selling dots for one’s forehead —

—Manjula used to give them as gifts as we travelled through England—

A woman asked where she was.

I pointed to, inside the shop and after a perplexed reaction, realised she wasn’t asking about the little girl (Kaveri) or Manjula, for that matter, but the dog (Lucie).

The girl was stocking up for the return to school.

I’m well known in my area and in Mysore generally but usually because of my appendage.

I am nothing, not even a number.

…

I once walked into a hotel (restaurant) right on the other side of the city, for the waiter to ask me where’s the dog. He also lived in Siddarthanagar.

So I’m well known for who I’m with …

As of this morning, as I realise, I stick out like a sore thumb as generally there’s rarely other firangis (foreigners) here. There’s a new appendage.

A tree

As I was tossing and turning in the midst of my AWOL, nightly sleep I realised there was only this morning for me to be able to decorate the tree for Christmas.

Kaveri will be going back to school.

Kaveri is here for less than 24 hours and we’ve decorated it together for the past three years since we met. I’ll not see her again until a few days after Christmas Day when we’ll belatedly celebrate Christmas.

A bit too late to do the tree

Plus our usual totem is now too big and heavy for the hall aka lounge.

What to do?

Easy

Get up before the girls and after walking as man and dog, I go out again, to the nearest ‘nursery’. It’s run by guys from UP on the roadside. I haggle with them from the Firangi-Gora (white) — tax – price, to something resembling the price a local would pay. About half.

Then as I’m trudging home— convincing myself that I’m exercising my muscle diminishing 60+ years arms —- with very regular rests. I realised I’m another spectacle of the foreigner ‘variety’ who is entertaining the locals, especially the men at the chai shop and the women sweeping the streets. They’re interested as no one can possibly work out why the rich foreigner is carrying a tree and not using an auto rickshaw.

A wonderful young man, rescues me from the ordeal of the last stretch, stops for me to balance precariously on the back of his bike and gets me home.

I’ve become the foreigner, not only with dog and girl but now the tree

It suits me

…

Ok it doesn’t look very heavy but the weight is in the pot.

It’s now decorated.

But now the cats eyeing it up, for a potential attack thankfully for the moment she seems satisfied with the empty decoration boxes.

Different worlds

November 29, 2024November 29, 2024 SFLeave a comment

Ganesh, originally bought from the stone carvers in Tamil Nadu with representations of — (from the left) the moon, earth and sun.

I’ve adapted one of his key stories to share with Kaveri and Radhika.

It traditionally goes like this …

Ganesh and his brother have a race round the world to prove who’s fastest.

If we were asked to predict who would win we’d think his brother, as Ganesh aka Ganpati isn’t lithe and doesn’t look fit. Plus .. He eats a lot!

His brother is shocked to find Ganesh already there when he breathlessly reaches the finishing line.

It turns out Ganesh raced around his world (his parents) and his brother raced around the whole world (planet earth).

My addition.

There’s no right or wrong here, both raced around important worlds. Fact is — we occupy many worlds— at school, where we live, amongst our friends, work. It’s important for us to realise these different worlds — an understanding of which — helps us realise how people see things differently.

Only then … can we — Be Kind— (a regular message to Kaveri), as that depends on us understanding how each person sees things. No point ‘being kind’ in ways that ‘the other’ person doesn’t value or recognise.

Factoid !?

Kartikeya ), also known as Skanda, Subrahmanya, Shanmukha and Murugan, is the Hindu god of war. He is generally described as the son of the deities Shiva and Parvati and the brother of Ganesha.

Lifted off the t’internet

All images are in Mysore Bed and Breakfast but non of his brother as he’s still racing around the world.

Help – Break the crate..

November 29, 2024November 29, 2024 SFLeave a comment

Revealing possibilities

Broadening Horizons

Passing through Barriers

Help girls (and boys) prepare for adult life by introducing yourself and sharing your insights.

Manjula’s Mysore is inviting its guests and members of its monthly meeting: ‘reflective space’ to create a short Introductory video — talking to camera — to reveal what’s possible.

I often use the story of Ganesh and his brother racing each other to reveal to young people that we live in many different worlds — with our immediate family, at home, with friends, at work, our extended family, while travelling.

It’s important to recognise and value difference reflected in those different worlds. That helps us to realise what wide variety of opportunities exist for us.

Many young people don’t understand how different their lives could be.

If we know more, we’re more enlightened and can better choose the life we wish to have, and find what suits us best.

Breaking the crate.

It might mean challenging the status quo and breaking away from what’s traditionally expected of us.

Sharing examples gives others strength.

This idea came from how much Kaveri learned about other people’s worlds by meeting guests of all ages — from India and around the world—- at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.

I hope this helps broaden her horizons and seize opportunities

Manjula realised — that even with a limited education, from a poor background having experienced so many difficult challenges throughout her life — she could create a wonderful home, share it with people from around the world, become a company director, manage our business and teach a Firangi a thing or two!! (Many things actually)

Manjula continues to give.

Look at what she had to put up with …

Surely you can do better than this!!

Critical management.

November 28, 2024November 28, 2024 SFLeave a comment

I’ve tried to help people become active participants in the decisions affecting them throughout my life.

I’ve worked to develop and improve their organisations as facilitator and manager since the early 80s.

Initially this was in NGOs and government but later in my career i was guide: consultant and trainer working with MNCs (multi-national companies) and by developing partnerships.

Occasionally, here I’ll post opinion pieces and insights from my experiences. These are for anyone but particularly young people and especially members of our reflective space group here in Mysore.

Here’s the latest.

Dancing Elephants about personal and organisational change

Management styles: whimsical

Management Styles: Banyan Tree

More subjects will follow about innovation, motivation, developmental stages of an organisation, responsible business, thinking…

blah blah blah

Uncanny coincidence.

With dancing elephants we introduced an award scheme. Years later we found an incredible coincidence.

Sometimes things were meant to be.

….

Manjula’s Library

There’s a great range of books including those on learning, management, history, philosophy and education in Manjula’s library at our house aka Mysore Bed and Breakfast. My favourites are the children’s picture books which are of course for all ages!

….

My MPhil was a research degree in Critical Management undertaken at Lancaster University in the 1990s

In my studies and practice, I focused on human behaviour in different contexts. When I reached my 60s, I realised I’ll never understand human behaviour 🤪

I’ve helped develop hundreds of projects over the years. As a facilitator no one probably associates them with me.

I’m satisfied with that.

Stephen

Sharing stories

November 26, 2024 SFLeave a comment

with our guests — again and again 🤔🤭 — helps me realise how fortunate I am.

Dancing elephants

November 11, 2024November 12, 2024 SFLeave a comment

This image popped up today

It reminded me of when I was reorganising a government department in the 1990s

All the staff were asked to attend one of my interactive workshops called ‘teaching the elephant to dance.’

This was based on how a circus would tame elephants. The elephant would be chained to a stake so it couldn’t move away.

Later the chain would be removed but due to ‘learned behaviour’ the elephant wouldn’t move away, as if the chain was still there.

Of course, I’m not condoning this treatment of elephants but it’s a useful analogy.

In organisations we develop a narrow ‘world view’ and institutional way of doing things. This can stop us being innovative, creative and lead to insensitivity . Which means we are less likely to learn and adapt.

Both collectively and individually we’re like the elephant that doesn’t move away from the stake, yet we’re not physically restrained.

I’d read this book…