Category: our story

Our special friend

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My dear Lucie. 

We met when someone had dumped you, your brother and sister at the end of our street. 

We’ve had so much fun together. Almost from  the very first moment I came to live in Mysore. 

It didn’t take long for you to realise where the kindly Firangi,  — who fixed your skin problems and regularly fed you — came from, so you all followed. 

The man who lived downstairs was less keen on the black — India street dog and her siblings— setting up home under our tree. This was… Exactly where you came to rest on Saturday when you were feeling ill and went back to that same tree. 

We’d chase and roll around in the park, with Vis another street dog becoming a friend. 

In time I found homes for your brother and sister. You had the op at People for Animals, with a neat ‘bite’ taken out of your ear so you wouldn’t be re-captured and spayed again. (When I first visited India I wondered why many street dogs had a bite taken out of an ear. — it wasn’t another dog! ) 🤭

You became part of our wonderful family 

Whenever neighbours saw me without you, they’d want know where you were. I even went to a hotel miles away on the other side of the city where a waiter asked where you were! He also lived in Siddarthanagar

It’s not surprising that you were so well known as we walked through the layout four times every day.

Now I have to go to the bakery, cafe and chai shop on my own.

When Manjula’s spirit moved on we had a lovely portrait painted of you both

I miss you both so much, hope you find each other, in your new lives. I’ll catch up with you eventually but in the meantime, I’ll now introduce you and share you both with even more people. 

Friends from around the world are sending their love and sharing their memories.

Billet-Doux is still looking for you here and expects our walk last thing at night with the owl flitting above us

Our friendly owl

Missing you. Our life was ….

What a Wonderful family and friends we had. .

Until the next time

love

from us all and especially Sowbaghya, Billet-Doux, Kaveri,  and Stephen. 

Farewell Lucie

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Last Sunday was already busy. 

The BnB was full. 

Two sets of guests leaving and two more arriving. Four of us visiting Kaveri’s school for the republic day celebrations.

Kaveri was superb as the narrator of the skit.. surely a coincidence that it had a demo against the English, demanding they leave the country. 

🤪🤔🤭

Of course it was. 

and singing

It was not to be a quiet day.  

Mailis kindly agreed to go with our driver Akram to take Lucie to the vet hospital, whilst I fulfilled my Kaveri duty. 

…

Lucie has attended daily for the past week to be put on a drip (clean out her kidneys?) and be pumped full of drugs. It was worth a try but it’s not made much difference and then on the Saturday evening she seemed far far worse. She had difficulty standing or walking or did endless turns to lower herself and sit down. She even slipped out of the house and through the gate, which has not been allowed for some time now.  

I looked all over to for her. Eventually finding her at the front of the house, beneath our lovely tree on a pile of leaves. 

Exactly the sort of tree that MAnjula imagined being reincarnated as, because it sheltered and supported people.  

She was always — attentive, present and above all — kind

I expect it was looking for the comfort that attracted Lucie but I imagine her collapsing as she’d lost the energy to do much else. She knew and had gone to ground. 

And … Manjula continues to support us all. 

…

I thought I just heard Lucie clicking as she dragged herself up the stairs.

Not to be. 

I explained to Kaveri that her good friend was finding life too much. I left her in tears — but comforted by each other —-at the end of her star performance  

We grow closer with every shared experience

I leave for Leela the animal hospital. Madan, the founder reveals that we could continue to wash out her kidney (or liver? I’m already in a daze) but that seems pointless. He’s being kind.

It’s time.

She’s even had a couple of fits. 

I sign the document. I continue to hold and comfort her. I want to be with her as it’s best. She relaxes and her eyes glaze. 

Goodbye my precious friend.

It’s been a year since she’s found the stairs a little challenging. I would joke about installing a stair-lift! — we’d worked it out, but for no longer. 

…

We all have to adjust, again

Slow realisation

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Sun 26 Jan 

I get home to less.

An abnormal day, amongst the multitude of such days.

But today another family member departed 

As I returned home I slowly realised Lucie would not be here to greet me. 

Sowbaghya had earlier invited our team to pay their respects and fill the house with love, as Lucie began to reach her  last legs. This was, while I was being an attentive ‘parent’ to Kaveri at her school. 

That’s two. 

I’m missing too much …

… there’s a gap which far exceeds their size. Their imprint is ginormous

Birthday happening

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Well if ‘last’ years birthday is anything to go by I’ve fully localised.

31st December can seem a weird day for a birthday. Or maybe not.

Endings and beginnings

There’s always multiple celebrations

It was wonderful.

A steady stream of lovely friends making it a day to remember.

Plus my girls were here (kaveri and Radhika) having missed Christmas together, we shifted Christmas to the morning and began my birthday at noon 12.35 sharp 🤭

and Rinkal and Sheetal are seriously becoming an integral part of the team. Welcome to you.

and I became Pinocchio, it was my alternative to being fed cake… repeatedly.

Next morning

Radhika borrows one of Kaveri’s Christmas presents They are ‘sisters’, you’ll understand.
Lucie prepares to go to the vets.

Happy New Year.

How people find us

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Even in our first year we were no 1 in Mysore on Trip Advisor but there were no contact details. Guests couldn’t quite believe it

As they realised, I’m Yindian, (Indian by marriage, Yorkshire by birth) the Yorkshire bit means I’ll not spend money unnecessarily. (that’s one way of putting it)..

We’d also joke that we only wanted guests that would put the effort in and find us!!

Our Facebook entries also meant we were on Google. All that helped.

AirBnB was our other big thing. We’re still on it but sometimes forget as most guests come as returners, byword of mouth or recommendations.

Just to prove it, here’s some of the reviews from our lovely AirBnB guests.

We can assure you, that we don’t chop people’s heads off

Yours, Alice

Peaks and troughs

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The last few weeks have been quite difficult.

In Didion’s book ‘a year of magical thinking’ (well it lasts for longer than a year … like forever) she writes about the vortex, I call it being bushwhacked.

One is ….

Attacked for no apparent reason, as the sadness arises — mainly due to recollections that appear — as if from nowhere.

There’s also a regular hidden sadness that surfaces as intolerant anger.

Sorry everyone.

I’m dealing with CBB — can’t be bothered — but it’ll get sorted.

Here’s the letter I wrote to MAnjula after she slipped through my fingers.

I stumbled across it today. It was as I began my journey through the tunnel of love paddling the thick grief gravy and I remembered….

Manjula the ever-smiler, radiated love like the rays of a sun.

When I can —- I recall the wonderful light she brought into my life — puts the awful loss and memories of her slipping away, into the shade.

So of course, I’m very fortunate.

Creativity Days

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Were organised by Manjula’s Mysore at Kaliyuvamane, the ‘open’ school that Kaveri attends in Mysore and separately for an NGO working with visually impaired young women.

Why?

… because it’s an ‘alternative’ approach we think reflects our way of thinking and that of the school.

Betty Edward’s writer of ‘Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain’ puts it well…

“throughout many cultures … there is much talk of creativity and our need for innovation and invention. “ …. Yet …

“our education system seems bent on eliminating every last bit of creative perceptual training of the right side of the brain, while overemphasising the skills best accomplished by the left side of the brain: memorising dates, data, theorems, and events with the goal of passing standardised tests.”

Edwards believes that “with careful teaching transfer, drawing and reading together can educate both halves of the brain.”

Indeed the management guru Tom Peters declared innovation as the no 1 competency for successful, thriving organisations. That was also reflected in the work of John W Gardner author of ‘excellence’ and ‘self-renewal: the individual and the innovative society’

As I look into this more, I realise that creativity helps us develop and use the right side of the brain to enhance our perception and to bring meaning into our increasingly complex worlds.

It’s therefore no accident that we’ve promoted “two vital global skills: reading and drawing.”

I hope MAnjula was happy and proud that in her memory we’ve tried to better equip young people for the challenges they’ll face, bringer greater equilibrium and help them find their passion.

Details of our creativity days are here and here

How amazingly

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fortunate am I?

A beautiful wife — of many wonders — one of my many gifts from India.

Now in addition to my MAnjula

memories living

in my heart there’s a little thing

Helping fill my life and manage my grief …

Putting it in its place. …

Thank you

MAnjula and Kaveri.

Dancing elephants

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This image popped up today

It reminded me of when I was reorganising a government department in the 1990s

All the staff were asked to attend one of my interactive workshops called ‘teaching the elephant to dance.’

This was based on how a circus would tame elephants. The elephant would be chained to a stake so it couldn’t move away.

Later the chain would be removed but due to ‘learned behaviour’ the elephant wouldn’t move away, as if the chain was still there.

Of course, I’m not condoning this treatment of elephants but it’s a useful analogy.

In organisations we develop a narrow ‘world view’ and institutional way of doing things. This can stop us being innovative, creative and lead to insensitivity . Which means we are less likely to learn and adapt.

Both collectively and individually we’re like the elephant that doesn’t move away from the stake, yet we’re not physically restrained.

I’d read this book…

Forty years ago it was very exciting time as we created an organisation to better serve disabled people.

That perspective is also appropriate for today.

We can liberate ourselves from our own narrow perspectives and unhelpful traditions.

Check this link for an uncanny coincidence.

And Giraffes can dance.