As I’ve paddled my boat through the grief gravy the layers of Manjula’s love become more apparent. I learn more everyday from her life.
“But when you want to gain love through success, it cannot be achieved through anything quantifiable. The people that will be crying when you depart the world are not doing so because of any number that is tied to your name. They are doing so because you were a loving partner, a caring friend, or a shepherd of kindness. You are dearly missed not because of what you’ve earned, but because of what you represented.”
I expect I’m doing my usual and stating the bleeding obvious.
In this unwelcome necessary extraordinary extended period of reflection and potential growth, I realise the greatest challenge.
Yes it’s about loss and grief, goes without saying, I suppose.
There’s been many but especially three (many more of course but three for listing here) . Losing someone through splitting up with a lover, second losing Manjula when she died. Now I’d count my tonic to deal with the grief as the third. It’s not loss but deep down it’s the equivalent.
So why do I put them together?
They represent times when I felt unable to do anything … actually experiencing powerlessness, learning lack of control in some situations.
That realisation comes … After a lifetime of reinforced messages that it’s up to us, we’re masters of our own destiny and in control.
The third example is having the wherewithal to support and guide Kaveri but to realise how handicapped I am in the face of a completely dysfunctional family who don’t understand or care.
Well done, Farrell — that’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into (only yesterday, Kaveri was asking about Laurel and Hardy) — But of course it’s about regaining one’s equilibrium, being positive and constructive, working out the way that works and the benefit I can gain from another of life’s lessons.
So in a different way, it does depend on how we take it and manage the situation — critically it’s in the eyes of the beholder—and mostly about our relationships.
So as I said bleeding obvious.
I send this to you because you might not believe it but you are very important
I’m in the park to wish Manjula happy birthday and hang out with billet-Doux, butterflies (messengers from Madam) and too many mosquitoes!
Here’s the lovely video created by Faizan through which many old and new friends have met Manjula.
My ulterior motive on being here was to be security for the flowers and stop people stealing them.
I failed
But it can’t affect our celebration of her wonderfulness.
As I completed a video call to my son Oliver in Vancouver, —and realised I was due back to make breakfast—three sets of neighbours walking in the park saw Manjula’s poster and wanted to know her story. I’d never met them before a mom her son , another young woman and an elder.
We begin remembering Manjula on what would have been her 51st birthday.
Here are our current guests Ina— the stalwart— who has visited us at Mysore Bed and Breakfast, almost every year for at least a month (with a break during the pandemic) and John, also a ‘glutton for punishment’ as he’s a returner —who we haven’t yet scared away — Settling in and helping us plan our rememberances.
Vasanth, Sowbaghya and I visited the nursery to get birthday flowers for Manjula’s garden. Unfortunately I didn’t get a photo of Priyanka, the friendly young woman shopping there. She donated a plant, on hearing why we were there..
An opportunity to meet to share your thoughts with other young adults (and one or two who are just young at heart)
Our monthly meeting is a way to connect and share with other open minded people ….
Reflect on what’s happening in the world, consider what the future holds, support each other, share the mistakes we’ve made and lessons we’re learned, be more active and less passive.
…and stroke a dog (Lucie) and a cat (Billet-Doux). If you’re lucky, there maybe cake.
Interested?
Check the links on this page for more information.
We are very happy that children are enthusiastically flocking around Mr. Rajesh Madhavan, Theatre Director, a product of ‘Ninasam’ – Theatre Institute, who is staying on the campus.
Our sincere gratitude to ‘Nirdiganta’ for opting ‘Kaliyuva Mane’ for their 6 months’ programme, ‘Shala Rangavikasa’ (ಶಾಲಾ ರಂಗವಿಕಾಸ). Hope this will enhance the emotional stability, imagination and expression of children.
Please watch the video:
This is the school Kaveri attends.
It’s providing innovative ways to help the children become more confident and develop competencies to help tackle life’s challenges whilst fulfilling their potential.
It’s a great example of how Kaliyuvamane School has a different approach which goes beyond traditional schooling.
Years ago I returned from a trip to the U.K. to find the tree outside was decimated. That’s maybe an exaggeration but I was shocked. As the taxi pulled up I could now see most of the front of the house.
A branch had broken and MAnjula had had the tree trimmed. Not quite pollarding but a shock nevertheless. It was like a no 1 haircut.
What had happened to our tree!?
It’s now recovered and dominates.
It’s a beautiful tree that we both loved. The Indian way is however to hack them back. Its a process that needs managing.
Today
A couple of branches had come loose in a recent storm and so it needed a trim—— carefully supervised to ensure they didn’t go too far.
I didn’t want the same hacking so both SB and I supervised and approved each branch to be cut.
Micro-management in action.
The security guy from the local school doubles as a tree chopper. He did the duty. Later we’ll have someone do a more precision job with a circular saw.
There was a keystone cops element to it.
Thankfully we didn’t pull down any of the wires
Manjula once declared her wish to be reincarnated as a tree as it supported, protected and sheltered people. That’s just like her
I think our strong beautiful tree was in her mind.
We now have symbolic trees in our life, in the house, the car and our real beauty outside.
Me and MYCycle 