An ever changing small group from siddarthanagar cycles around and sometimes up Chamundi Hill setting off most mornings at 6.30 am from Mysore Bed and Breakfast.
Sid Cycles
Category: Life in India
Differently observed.
The big guy
Each year we’d buy a terracotta Ganesh, place him in our Pooja room with the appropriate rituals with lots of food (he’s a hungry god).
After the stipulated number of days he’d be taken and immersed in the Kaveri river near Srirangaptnam.
Expect the unexpected
Nothing ever seems to go to plan in India……
to help commemorate Manjulasness on her birthday we’d invited a few friends to celebrate in the park opposite where we’ve placed three benches.
But two days before, this happened…..
There’s now the beginnings of a new path. We’ll just about manage if it doesn’t rain and create a river of mud.
when we meet
When we dogs meet each other for the first time, with a sniff in the air (or if daring, up the bum) a wave of the tail a look in the eye we quickly decide: is the newcomer above, below or equal to me?
We signal by the tail. If they are lower in status the tail tucks in between the legs and they physically cower.
People often, psychologically and socially do the same.
After an initial look, a few questions, key words they evaluate the other.
Are they on the same level? If so, they’ll behave adult to adult,
Or are they so different in terms of age, caste, colour, race or religion? If they perceive one above the other they’ll behave like parent and child. If they’re uncertain there maybe a tussle to work out their relative positions.
People do this, often and everywhere.
It may help them feel superior or inferior uncomfortable or comfortable, accepted, rejected. It helps define who we think we are and how we relate to others. It’s common and often involves games to clarify, communicate and impose. I’ve adapted this from transactional analysis as featured in the book: “Games People Play’.
Yes, some dogs can read, but don’t tell anyone.
All societies do it, to varying degrees but ultimately in my view can often reinforce status, encourage elitism and highlight difference. It leads to unacceptable behaviours, social distance and it’s not very nice.
now at home
Sowbhagyhya has done Pooja here for Mahalakshmi and one or two other goddesses.
Cycling and walking, sharing waves and smiles on….
Otherwise
Other and wise
There’s so many examples of the negativeness of the ‘other’ in society and politics.
Before the time of virus, people would cross the road to avoid walking by my black dog Lucie. It’s a cross-cultural fear.
Now in the time of virus they’re as likely to walk across the road because of me.
Recently, I was cycling on a local road busy with people doing their early morning exercise walk. A woman on the opposite side of the wide road lifts her Sari to cover her mouth on seeing me, a white foreigner. The Indians walking next to her had not been seen as a risk.
She didn’t know better but at the very least, it’s annoying.
The negative other.
Later that day three young children, sitting astride a wall laughing, smiling giggling, waving to me, a wonderful hello.
Shortly afterwards a man pushing a cycle gave a smile and wave.
The positive other
This took me back fifteen years to my first visit.
I came to India and christened it the land of a billion smiles and then I fell in love with and married Manjula, a woman with a billion smiles.
We find what we look for….
Now Manjula is my guru
I spread her smile with a friendly wave.
We might however at this ‘time of virus’ need to look a little closer to spot the smiling eyes shining above the face mask .
This was my story at today’s meeting of the Mysore Storytelling Network. A great new group for me of mostly young things. 🙂🙃😉
We need more
Some would say it’s best to place your memories of your loved one in a special place, in your heart and the ‘things’ in a box for you to sometimes get out.
No fear… That’s not happening here.
Manjula would often complain about there being too many pictures in our home and not enough room.
There’s plenty of room, (except in my heart, which she’s mostly filled) even more pics now and (usually) I love seeing her peeking out and catching me unawares.
It’s full on photos and all stages of grief piled on top of each other, she wouldn’t expect anything less.
Manjula would of course, just get on with things.
what to do next
I’m sitting on our balcony with Lucie by my side. It’s time for a virtual mental ramble.
As a condition of my visa I have to leave India within 180 days of arriving for each visit. The Indian Government has extended that until international flights resume because of the virus situation. I expect the flights will resume next month and I will have to leave.
I’m finding decision making in my current fragile state, mainly due to you-know-who slipping through my fingers, a bit difficult, so talking it through with friends is a real help.
This is part of that process and here are my options:
Sri Lanka: It’s possible to have a short holiday there with no requirement for extended isolation providing you have a negative test result taken within three days of travel. Challenge is getting there in a straightforward way and getting the test and results in time. I’m not keen on catching domestic Indian flights. I could pay for health service. It might seem to be the most straightforward option but it’s not getting me to see family and friends. I haven’t seen my granddaughter for a year.
UK: flights might be re-introduced in August. I could stay with friends but that’s not as easy as it sounds as self-isolating isn’t straightforward. Some friends have medical conditions that might make them vulnerable, others might not wish to see me or have the space for me to self-isolate. My son Ben, Alice and Poppy have invited me to stay but that may prove a big burden as I’d be on the couch and its not exactly self-isolating. I’m keen to see them. I’d have access to what’s left of the health service in the UK.
Canada: My son Oll, lives in Vancouver and as a relative of a resident I’m allowed to visit. It would be great to catch up . As with the UK I’d be required to self-isolate for 14 days. I could get another tattoo 🙂 and there are other friends to visit. He has a room but it’ll not be straightforward as I’d share the apartment and who’d cook? I’d have to get health insurance.
I’d love to do both the UK and Canada but that’s not feasible this year too much travel creates an increased risk and frankly to do what? Sit in a room staring at four walls, twice and then again back watching walls in India…. Admittedly its time to read and write but there is the real risk of going stir crazy. As I’ve said, I’m already fragile.
So I have to have to work out the best option.
Feel free to comment and suggest….
Next questions (more later) I have to resolve:
What about Lucie while I’m not here?
Will India let me back in?
toodle pip
from
Stephen
the quarantined foreigner in Siddartha
Me and MYCycle 