The days after, three years ago

March 24, 2022March 24, 2022 SFLeave a comment

Doing my duty…

When one suffers such loss that forms a trauma and it’s aftermath, it’s an extra challenge to focus on the positive.

It’s especially difficult at anniversary time. There’s a preoccupation with the loss, the guilt, a blaming.

In this month there’s also helpful reminders of good, our wedding ceremonies.

Some might wonder why I follow so ‘religiously’ the traditions. It’s simply my love and devotion for MAnjula.

I always tried my best to do what she wanted

The day afterwards brings out memories of when she was laid to rest on her bed, outside our house with the tell tale symbols of the smouldering wood informing the neighbourhood what was happening. Next we’d go to the industrial shed-oven aka crematorium and before that a puja by the side led by Manjula’s brother.

A kindly neighbour brought Bhagavad Gita to help emphasise our duty not to become too attached to our loved ones and to help their soul spirit move onto another body.

Here’s me doing precisely that…..

Do follow the link and check the video at the end where I’m at one of the most significant places on Srirangaptnam; visited on every cycle tour over the past ten years.

The day itself.

March 23, 2022March 23, 2022 SF2 Comments

The third death anniversary of Manjula. We try to do all the right things.

Signs are posted next to M’s garden to explain that we’ve created it in her memory. (It’s even in the shape of a ‘M’.) A large image of MAnjula is positioned at our gate, Hindu’s recognise immediately what it’s about.

We’re inviting her to come in. We all take it in turns to do puja, a request to the gods and wishes to MAnjula to help her on her way. Who
nows? Maybe she’s already found her next body but We play safe and do the ceremonies in case she hasn’t

I close the hall (lounge) door behind me as we all leave the house. This is to allow Manjula’s soul spirit to eat. We’ll gently knock on re-entering so she knows to go.

Sowbhaghya, who now tries her best to hold it all together is ably assisted by Tanuja and Satish the director’s of the new company: ‘Manjula’s Mysore’ to create a great day, remembering and helping MAnjula on her way.

Over the years friends have created a MAnjula memory tree.

Ina the Scottish Australian who became a great friend of ours and especially Manjula calls and arranges to visit later in the year.

Thank you MAnjula for being the all-embracing you, we all miss and cherish you while continuing to feel your presence.

I have another bright idea, I might regret it.

By the end of the day and unusually for this time of year it rains.

The evening before

March 22, 2022 SF3 Comments

Smileys appear on our street.

I’m reminded of how I’d felt the need to protect my broken heart — like this one in a bottle — while looking around me at the images of my beautiful MAnjula which trigger happy joyful memories of our wonderful but short time together.

Tomorrow we’ll share a meal with MAnjula and a few close friends.

Information

March 20, 2022March 20, 2022 SFLeave a comment

You decide

A mish mash, some might say eclectic

Useful sources of information to help us think things through

They’re videos, personally, I need a rest from reading books.

Posted 20th March 2022

The first featuring a British comedian, is about the pandemic but I’m not a believer in conspiracies. That doesn’t mean that we’re not manipulated. The pharma companies are bleeding us, should be regulated and their profits limited.

His videos are about sharing information to help us form our opinions and realise how the world works.

I’m really impressed by this writer. His book Sapiens helped me rethink the development of humans and to realise how significant storytelling is in how we lived in our earliest days, and now, how integral stories are to our identities, to our collaboration, which affects every aspect of our lives

This video is about the Ukraine but reveals his thinking about what the current situation reveals about all our societies, being both positive and hopeful.

This week

March 20, 2022 SFLeave a comment

March is a month of significant memories.

It began with our wedding at the city corporation, followed a few days later with a celebration on Srirangaptnam.

Two years running she was admitted to intensive care and sadly and devastatingly died three years ago on the 23rd.

We do Pooja on that anniversary, help her on her way and remember fantastic times with a wonderful woman.

Here’s a video memory created by our good friend Tom, Manjula showing one of her many skills and most importantly her kindness of giving.

Making Connections

March 18, 2022March 18, 2022 SFLeave a comment

Meeting people, making new and celebrating old friends is what it’s about.

We’ve missed that over the past two years but things are changing.

This lovely family who look after a construction site, live over the other side of our park and have become good friends.

Their teenage daughter Radhika is dressed up for ethnic day at school.

Occasionally the bundle of fun, Kaveri, their granddaughter, also visits from the other side of Mysore and brightens our lives.

We look forward to more ….

A visit to Kannur

March 3, 2022October 22, 2022 SF3 Comments

I’m sitting with Lucie in our room, at Chera Rocks, which opens directly onto the beach.

It’s been another hot day which cools slightly as we pass 4 0’clock.

We have been visiting our wonderful friends Sally and Shabaz, before Eastenders Sally sadly returns to the U.K.

Together we’ve retraced Manjula and my steps during previous holidays, including Manjula’s deep desire 😉 to visit the drive-on-beach.

This morning Sally and I walked along the beaches to visit Rosie and Nazir of Kannur Beach House and share my photos of Manjula.

Rosie, Nazir and their family became good friends after we visited many times.

Manjula and I in Kannur to celebrated our engagement in 2015

Manjula’s look of absolute bliss laying on the beach by Kannur Beach House on that first holiday together.

Our very last trip exactly three years ago, shortly before she died, here we’re catching up with Rosie and Nazir.

It’s time for a last swim. We return to Mysore tomorrow.

We’ve bonded on this trip after I’d been away for almost three months

We did it, followed by a shared shower, Lucie thinks it was all too much. She waits until carefully positioned next to cascade her water drops on my clothes and bag. Ha bloody ha …

Philosophical thoughts

February 26, 2022 SF2 Comments

India stimulates all sorts of reflections like …. What’s the purpose of the line?

a boundary, a border, between in and out? Here and there? Normal and abnormal? The limen … an important guide, the threshold, between one world and another.