Author: SF

A YIndian, Yorkshire by birth and Indian by marriage. Originally from the UK, I've now lived in Mysore, South India for over ten years with my beautiful wife Manjula. MeandMycycle is about the ups, downs and ups of our life in Mysore and our creations: Mysore Bed and Breakfast and MyCycle Tours.

Dancing elephants

SFLeave a comment

This image popped up today

It reminded me of when I was reorganising a government department in the 1990s

All the staff were asked to attend one of my interactive workshops called ‘teaching the elephant to dance.’

This was based on how a circus would tame elephants. The elephant would be chained to a stake so it couldn’t move away.

Later the chain would be removed but due to ‘learned behaviour’ the elephant wouldn’t move away, as if the chain was still there.

Of course, I’m not condoning this treatment of elephants but it’s a useful analogy.

In organisations we develop a narrow ‘world view’ and institutional way of doing things. This can stop us being innovative, creative and lead to insensitivity . Which means we are less likely to learn and adapt.

Both collectively and individually we’re like the elephant that doesn’t move away from the stake, yet we’re not physically restrained.

I’d read this book…

Forty years ago it was very exciting time as we created an organisation to better serve disabled people.

That perspective is also appropriate for today.

We can liberate ourselves from our own narrow perspectives and unhelpful traditions.

Check this link for an uncanny coincidence.

And Giraffes can dance.

Jams, a new favourite

SFLeave a comment

We’re always on the lookout for delicious new things to share with our guests.

The latest discoveries … are …

Prasukh jams

Check them out

There an interesting range with an unexpected twist

My own favourites are the one’s with chilli and especially the mango, chia and chilli.

mmmmm

They’re very much appreciated by the guests of Mysore Bed and Breakfast

….

They’re also a modern quality company in other ways.

The last delivery was damaged in transit. A third of the jams were lost but the company replaced them

Fab.

Thank you Prasukh

Connecting communities.

SFLeave a comment
Hand delivered invite, complete with rice

The wedding ceremony means so much.

On the surface it’s bringing two people together. But it’s the joining of two families.

It’s also an opportunity to dress up, reconnect with family and friends, realise how we’ve all grown.

The bride arrives

Checking him out in the mirror.
Before the big reveal.

We’re part of the family as many of the grandsons of our house owner and extended family have lived on our roof

London campaign against the Russian war with the Ukraine

SFLeave a comment

A campaigning group using direct action to challenge.

Its name comes from World War One when the inept leaders were considered to be donkeys leading the lions who were the ordinary soldiers.

Humour but biting.

A stunt to challenge the war.

The blue and yellow paint helped create the Ukraine flag outside the Russian Embassy in London.

Direct action, questioning and challenging is an essential part of democracy.

My Indian friends can’t quite believe how disrespectful we are of our politicians.

Rupert Murdoch (he’s politically distorted and corrupted our media) even got the treatment in New York.
Innovating at public demonstrations

This takes so much planning, skilful implementation and absolute daring.

I’m so impressed.

…

One of the new books in Manjula’s library.

Friends become family.

SFLeave a comment

Another example of our wonderful guests, that become friends and how our chosen family now spans the world.

How lucky are we?

Here’s this weeks Facebook posting from them. ….

Ten years ago when we planned a visit to Mysore with children for the first time, we  wanted to give them a unique experience. After lots of googling we chose an english man Stephen Farrell’s , Mysore Bed and Breakfast. It was a home away from home where travellers from different part of the world prefered to stay during their Mysore visit. 

 Stephen shares his home with guests and offer complimentary home cooked tasty breakfast. All the guests share the same table  conversing  with each other during breakfast. 

Warm hospitality shown by  Stephen, Manjula and their lovely Lucy remained as fond memory with us, especially with Dhrithi n Diya.

We were in touch with Stephen through Facebook and we knew what’s happening in his life. He married Manjula but unfortunately their time together after marriage was only for short duration due to untimely demise of Manjula.  Stephen gave a beautiful experience to Manjula during her life time. He traveled with her to different tourist destinations, took her to his home country twice, Introduced her to his family and friends. He loved her unconditionally, gave best treatment possible and tried to fulfill her dreams. The days spent with Stephen might be the happiest moment in Manjulas life.

 Few days ago, i. e. After ten years we got the opportunity to visit Mysore again with daughters.  Dasara Celebration was just over but vibe was still there.  Dhrithi Diya didn’t show  any interest in seeing palace, decorations,  exhibition or lightings. Instead they wanted to meet Stephen at his place. We were meeting him  after ten years but surprisingly we didn’t feel the time gap and the connection was instant. He  interacted and narrated stories with same enthusiasm, Lucy was as lovely as she was before. Beadu cat is the new addition to the family.  Even we could feel the presence of Manjula in every room every corner of that  house. Stephen manages public garden in front of the house in her memory. Stephens eternal love towards Manjula is incomparable. 

He converted one room to Library in Manjulas memory. He showed his collection of books to Dhrithi Diya. He is keeping Manjulas memory alive through various activities including reading activity for youths.  Dhrithi n Diya received godfather card from Stephen . And he said only few children recived that card from him so far and he will support them always .

Stephen  conducts MyCycle, tour on Cycle to various parts of Mysore and surrounding villages. He has good knowledge about India, he apreciates cultural diversity, craftsmanship, artifacts & practices of India. He loves to interact with people from diverse background , celebrate festivals. He has deep understanding about the essence of India and some time I feel he is more Indian than many of us.

He shares his experience and memories in his blog

 https://meandmycycle.com/2023/10/31/guests-become-friends-2/

Their Facebook entry

https://www.facebook.com/share/WC6vpdovNcwwwRZY/?

Challenge and change

SFLeave a comment

Or stay the same

The choice is ours, whether it’s on an individual, organisational or societal level.

Some changes come easier then others but let’s stick with the question of — should we challenge and change?

In my view there’s an unequivocal yes.

As an individual and the networks, groups or communities we form, of course we change.

What’s learning if it’s not adopting and adapting to changing situations, and developing new ways of doing things (and thinking!).

Some people and organisations will challenge change and prefer to stick with the status quo.

When that happens, look a little deeper.

What’s their motivation not to want to change? Fear? Retaining or enhancing power?

One of the most important aspects of change is personal development, it helps create who we are.

But it’s also nonsensical to suggest there shouldn’t be change in our wider groups and society

It’s critical that we innovate and adapt, developing the requisite abilities. That might be number one priority.

Well not quite.

Our actual biggest challenge is friction, and by this I mean between people, their organisations, communities, and nations.

We need to develop effective sustainable relationships and to achieve that we need to learn to be kind.

That requires us to see things from the others’ point of view, to communicate, to connect, to be flexible and adapt.

Yes… change, constantly.

Maybe we can actually reduce violent conflict …. Now that would be cool.

So we can choose to change and not be stuck …

… in what previous generations have handed down to us

NOR

…. in our personal experiences and traumas

We can shift.

Simple eh?

Admittedly. It’s not straightforward … No it’s our life long challenge, to choose who we want to be and hopefully find happiness and contentment.

But if we’re not conscious and try we might just lose this lifelong opportunity.

There’s books I’d recommend, in Manjula’s library that help cover this.

So when we next hear someone rejecting change, said in so many ways: ‘that’s not our tradition’, ‘that’s how we do it here’, ‘it’s our culture’ we can’t, etc etc then it’s for the WPB

Ok, that might be a bit harsh, at least dive into more reflection and re-evaluation.

– Are our ways of thinking and doing fit for purpose anymore?

– Is it appropriate in this day and age?

Now that’s maybe opened a reactionary can-of-worms.

The following books are in Manjula’s library.

You might also want to check Vedanta! Perhaps recommend a book for the library.

Important Rituals and fun things.

SFLeave a comment

October update.

We have our fair share of things we do … at Mysore Bed and Breakfast.

Here we commemorate MAnjula and help her spirit find its new body.

We’re outside discreetly waiting while her spirit feeds.
As we re-enter the house we make noise so she knows to leave.

Support Kaveri in Manjula’s name and share her sunshine

Go cycling with our guests

Ask the goddess to make our ‘tools’ work for the next year

That’s MAnjula

“There are some people who have sun inside them.
It’s hard to explain.
Their presence just brightens, it’s not about their beautiful smiles.
They have an internal being that sheds light and feels like sun.
It’s a calm energy. Inner peace.
But most importantly; it’s not wanting anything back in return.
It’s sun.”

— Unknown 🎀

As is this …..

We even invented a sun cake.

Awards

SFLeave a comment

Everyone who visits Mysore Bed and Breakfast deserves an award, partly because they’ve tolerated me and also missed MAnjula.

Some people go above and beyond such as …

Ina visited every year and became our biggest and closest friend. Here she’s sharing memories about MAnjula.

Her award is for constantly reminding me of the wonderfulness of MAnjula, visiting us each year and being a solid support after ‘losing’ MAnjula.

Please meet Ina

Tom and Amy, also became wonderful supportive friends being part of our life, through many visits and helping me in so many ways including at short notice, visiting to support me after MAnjula died.

To MAnjula for filling up my life.

She adapted the ‘glass half full’ saying to full full.

Florian a good friend who recently returned to Mysore from Germany for some bizarre reason has read the blog site. He’s commended for fighting his way through that jungle.

Scary

Kaveri for being my adopted granddaughter who miraculously popped into my life and with her fab character reminds me so much of MAnjula. She could have been our daughter. Here’s a video taken shortly after we met.

… and a thank you to the many people who’ve found us via the net and just said hello in the street, at a hotel, or visited us, particularly those who attend our reflective space event or come to stay in our home.

We couldn’t, of course, forget Lucie and Billet-Doux.

or Sowbaghya (aka SB) who

manages everything

Seen here with Ina

The very first reward was given fourteen years ago and still hangs in Manjula’s Library.

The T shirt was a later addition after I knew we’d fallen in love