Watching queer eye is helpful.

Step Father and teenage son are having a conversation. They’ve recently come together as the guy married his mum.

They’re bonding. Talking about how the father tries to manage challenges himself and not let them in to help.

He doesn’t want to feel a burden to them but it has the opposite effect as they then worry about him.

That’s a trigger for me.

That rings bells.

I’m too independent and realise I could have shared more with MAnjula, that in turn that helped me miss that she did want to be a burden through her illness and all it entailed.

I’m sorry MAnjula. You were never a burden. I love you and would manage anything for you.

I freaked out at you for not taking your tablets. That was about my worries, stress feeling powerless to not be able to help you from deterioration.

There’s so much I would and should have done differently.