Month: October 2023

Guests become friends

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We would often say how lucky we are to have found each other and shared our home with a constant stream of new friends arriving at our door.

We had visitors yesterday.

A lovely family who first came to stay with us ten years ago with their young daughters.

What a lovely surprise.


B C Shetty and Mamatha
Dhrithi and Diya

Dhrithi and Diya have now grown to be strong clever young women, a real credit to their parents and themselves. At ages 15 and 17 they’ve been home schooled.

Fantastic and a great example how the women in India are seriously getting their act together.

Wonderful positive shared memories of MAnjula and our friends

The family are from Karkala and work full time for their NGO Kadike Trust and promote udupisaree

In August 2013

Blah blah blah

Two more Godfather cards were given out.

Guests’ wishes and memories of MAnjula

Butchers 2

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Another tree bites the dust without any heavy rain or wind but it’s the one next to it they were proposing to cut down

Part one here.

Here’s evidence, if we needed it:

1 the current team failed to spot which tree would fall next, their approach is random

2 in any case, it’s difficult to predict which trees will fall but it’s impossible without some expertise

3 we need some expert knowledge, supervision and accountability to target which trees are fundamentally weak and stop the unnecessary felling of trees

I have no idea where the railing is there. It’s not managed.

Back from our weekend away

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SB was all prepared for todays big puja.

Today!
I’m uncertain my T shirt was appropriate wear.

After our ‘family’ weekend, that’s Me with the girls…. Kaveri, her mum Chandrika, sister (aka auntie) Radikha together with Lucie at Chera Rocks in Kannur,

We introduced body boards to the beach, work and play. A fun weekend together.

Meet an important person

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Please say hello to Kaveri

Over two years ago I asked friends to keep an eye out for a young girl who I might support in Manjula’s name.

There’s no shortage of children experiencing challenging circumstances here in India. I wanted to find someone with a similar background to MAnjula but no one came forward.

Then one day in the park opposite our house I heard a helloooooo.

My first introduction to Kaveri

Shortly after that first meeting I was using Manjula’s ‘flash cards’ to discover how much English she knew.

This video shows how she responded by turning the tables on me

I was impressed with her confident assertiveness with a foreigner she’d only just met.

Yesterday Sowbaghya who has become indispensable at Mysore Bed and Breakfast and Radikha Kaveri’s aunty who’s more like a sister and I were reflecting with kaveri on how she’d changed over this last year or so.

I’d clearly spotted a smart cookie, confident and assertive a good communicator. She’s carried along that same track

Yesterday reading a pictorial version of the Little Prince she was confidently tackling unfamiliar words switching to phonetic pronunciation where necessary.

She’s important in my life for many reasons not least for helping me manage my grief. Growing to help me fill the space around it.

I look forward to our continuing time together and helping her continue to grow her beautiful character.

Puja for Manjula

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It’s that time of year when we remember our beloved, who’s body has left us

An event that’s… Celebrated in communities and religions throughout the world.

Before eating we all left the house for Manjula’s spirit to enter our home and eat. We don’t want her being hungry.

The lunch was reminiscent of the wonderful shared meals created by MAnjula for our friends and guests.

Well done to Manjula’s team.

Today’s adventures

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On or way out we noticed the elephants and cannons. A practice for the procession next week
We were ordering a new MAnjula sign in Kannada to go next to her garden in the park, followed by a visit to the stone carvers.
and a drink in this traditional Brahmin juice shop for sarsaparilla and fruit salad with ice cream .

Police Psychology

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No star, one, two, three

I was stopped on my usual cycle route this morning. An order prohibiting an event with a party political tint was the reason.

First the police officer stopped me. Star one and two got involved. I couldn’t go past.

I’m cycling and clearly nothing to do with the political agitation or whatever it is. The police act as a parent (or at least want to enjoy bossing the foreigner) and show no mental flexibility. I respond as an adult. (Psychological Reference: transactional analysis and the book: ‘games people play’) not as a ‘child.’

I don’t even want to go up the Chamundi hill (the subject of the order) I want to go around the bottom and backside (Indian English not double entendre).

So I reach out to third star.

He sees beyond the conventional level of following the rules aka orders and let’s me through. He’s clearly established the principles in his head which guides his decisions and actions. (Another psychology connection) and rests at advanced post-conventional level. Please see below and Kohlberg’s Theory of moral development.

Either that, or the mention of my Indian wife, did the trick. 🤔🤭

I hope we can help the children at Kaliyuvamane to develop core values and principles exactly like the three star policeman .

Or at least help Kaveri to reach the top level.

I also look forward to the overdue campaign to take car drivers beyond ‘pre-conventional.’ As many haven’t even achieved that level (of following the rules) as yet, it’s maybe too much to expect.

Blah blah blah

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That’s me boring an unsuspecting group of students at Cresta College

I’m currently connecting with colleges and the famous school of Kaveri to try figure out my next steps in India.